|
|
Post by Admin on Feb 23, 2008 14:33:56 GMT -6
In Tokyo they have a weird dating system on their dairy products. The dates key off the date the Emperor ascended to the throne, and I had no idea. I drank this yogurt drink that turned out to be about a month past its expiration date and went to work. About 10 minutes from the train stop at my office, I felt like the ultimate battle between good and evil was happening in my stomach. I could feel something bad coming and I could hear ferocious roars coming from my belly, but there was no way in hell I was gonna use the train station bathroom. So I penguin marched to my office when I got off the train. I took the elevator up to our offices, hopped out of the elevator and penguin marched to the toilet, which was basically a hole in the floor.  I dropped trou and a millisecond after I bent my knees ever so slightly, perhaps the largest a$$plosion known to the human race happened. I turned to look at the damage and almost barfed from the sight and smell, as the mess was at least 3 feet across and completely covered the floor and back wall of the stall. I penguin marched to the next stall to finish up and wipe. About 30 minutes later this fairly prim and proper British dude who I worked with asked "Ave you seen the mess some chap left in the lavatory? It looks as if it were sprayed by a feces filled hose. I've never seen anything that dirty and I lived in China for 2 years." I bit my lip as hard as I could and said "why no, I have no idea what you are talking about, but I am appalled that someone would do that to the bathroom." About 5 people approached me about it within the next hour, but I played it off cool. |
|
|
|
Post by NOTTHOR on Feb 25, 2008 12:43:10 GMT -6
BUMP
|
|
|
|
Post by lpcalihawk on Feb 25, 2008 13:55:28 GMT -6
It looks like you could lay down to crap in that pot. Prop your feet up against the wall, lean back and let it go.
Great story, BTW. I like the British guy's comment about living in China for 2 years....good stuff.
|
|
|
|
Post by Gumbyhawk on Mar 10, 2008 14:12:45 GMT -6
It looks like you could lay down to crap in that pot. Prop your feet up against the wall, lean back and let it go. Great story, BTW. I like the British guy's comment about living in China for 2 years....good stuff. F-ing BUMP!!!  |
|
|
|
Post by The Bluzmn on Mar 10, 2008 20:45:50 GMT -6
OMG - BUMP!
|
|
|
|
Post by poncho72 on Mar 11, 2008 8:08:25 GMT -6
Classic!!!!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by Dr. Doofenshmirtz (Heywood) on Mar 11, 2008 8:10:19 GMT -6
It never gets old.
|
|
|
|
Post by Iowafan1 on Mar 11, 2008 8:58:47 GMT -6
Hey Ralphie...I spent several years in Atsugi, Yokohama and Tokyo. Did your story happen in the early 80's? Always used to wonder why I would constantly see signs in windows of various businesses (usually the bars) that read "No Americans Allowed". My Japanese buddies just played it off as if these guys were just prejudiced against Americans because our American Rice is better than Japanese Rice, American liquor and cigarettes are better than Japanese liquor and cigarettes, American music is better than Japanese music, American chicks and porn are better than Japanese chicks and porn (they scratch out the good parts in Japan). Last but not least, he says they are pissed because Americans make fun of Japanese commercials. I now know having read your story that, even though everything my Japanese buddies told me was true, it was not the reason why we are looked at as "Ugly Americans". The true reason is guys going into their spotless restroom stalls and "accidentally" painting their floors and walls with our sweet smelling feces. Having said that, I actually think you are on to something here. In fact, I think that all Japanese men should follow your upstanding example as revenge for all the f'ing pranks that get played on them in that fine Country....like the following: www.top10virals.com/viralvideos/japanese-toilet-prank.htmlwww.fugly.com/videos/5634/japanese-prank-show-2.htmlprankvideo.wordpress.com/2007/05/21/japanese-prank-show-crazy-taxi/uncutvideo.aol.com/videos/a0fe92d6979117c4743988b955a8f791www.liveleak.com/view?i=694_1203860724 |
|
|
|
Post by NOTTHOR on Mar 11, 2008 11:55:55 GMT -6
Screw them. If they would use the proper dating system on their products, their bathrooms wouldn't get painted. I was there 7 years ago, so don't blame me for you not being allowed in bars. They didn't want you in there because some Navy guys like MCPO trashed the joint 2 years before you got there and the people who work there are too nice to tell the sailors to stop, so they just banned all Americans. I never really had any problems, but the Karaoke bar owner told my wife to ask me to keep it down and the pool hall owner asked my wife to ask me not to poke holes in the ceiling with my pool cue when I missed a shot (the ceiling was about 6 inches over my head, so any emotion on my part left a hole in the ceiling).
I did swear off Asahi beer because one day this gal was giving away free sample size cans (about 8 ounces) and I was riding by on my bike and I tried to reach out and grab one, but she pulled it back and said I wasn't allowed to drink beer while riding my bike. I almost fell because I was preparing to grab the can, but when she pulled it away at the last second it caused my balance to be thrown off temporarily. Oh yeah, the little pr0n issue has been resolved over there too. Too bad there are no BBWs for you over there. I bet you had a helluva time without them.
|
|
