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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Feb 27, 2008 19:04:32 GMT -6
I bet you guys have a ton of great ones to tell...
I have two that stand out above all else, but will only mention one now. This was after I graduated, and as many of you might have heard, I didn't start drinking until after I left school. Anyways, I drove up from Davenport with one of my sisters friends, and then was going to crash on my sisters couch. When I got to my sister's, we went straight to John's Grocery for liquor. You see, my sister had recently been given a martini shaker, and we had never had martinis before, so we were going to make our own.
I was not prepared for what the martini had to offer. It was a gin and vermouth, straight up. It was the worst thing I had ever tried. Still, I finished the martini. I couldn't have another, so I just started drinking beer and the gin with soda (since we had to get rid of it). I also did a shot of pucker.
THEN it was time to hit the town.
It was a pretty nice bar tour. It was four of us initally, and only two of us drank beer. Every bar we went to, we split a pitcher. Brothers; half a pitcher. The Union; half a pitcher. Atlas; half a pitcher. Quenton's; half a pitcher. Funny story about Quention's, I was getting so bombed that I couldn't stand up without a little help, and my sister's roommate stood up from her chair, and I took it from her, and then she tried to sit down on it and fell on the floor. She held that grudge for years.
The walk home is the funny part. We were walking on CLinton street, and went to the writers workshop house. I needed a break so we sat down on the swinging chair on the porch. We started swinging really hard, and the damned thing fell on the ground and cracked. But, bince it was 1am and there was no one around, I got away with it. I was on such a rush when I did that, that I whipped it out and pissed in a potted plant on the porch, and when I finished, I threw it in the middle of the street. They decided to get me home, but on the way back, I would go to parked cars and see if the were unlocked, and if they were, I would climb inside and lay on the horn.
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Post by Hawkeyes1982 on Feb 27, 2008 19:10:42 GMT -6
I have from back when Iowa vs Arizona State game in I think 02. This was when lot 4 was open (field house parking lot) we were tailgating all day, I was playing beer pong with cups of shots of Jager.. Then we built a 2 story beer bong to take up the parkade and have people below taken beer bongs, well I did a few of those, plus all the beer pong, flip cup...I was just getting really smashed, well I felt my self starting to get kind of sick so I went down into this little corner where the stairs were and started to puke, well my sister came to check on me, and it attracted a little crowd might I add I was under age at the time.. So here come the cops, so I am telling me sister hey tell them I am 21 and they are standing right there, that is how trashed I was. lol. So then as they are talking to me, my sister frickin pukes on me! And the cop asks who is taking care of me and she goes I am, he goes who is takin care of you? lol. So the cop arrests me puts me in the car, I am sloshed out my mind. So we are driving to the police station, I get out and we're in the elevator thing, and I start getting sick again so they take me to the hospital and they give me a IV, I pass out for a couple hours, the cop leaves..And I asked the nurse what I was suppose to do because I was sober, and she just lets me go! So i made it to the 2nd half of the game! What a crazy day!
oh the next weekend a cop serves me a public intoxication fine at my door.
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Post by NOTTHOR on Feb 27, 2008 19:27:42 GMT -6
The game was in 2003. PSA from BTR learned from that game - Don't piss in the trees by the Church in University Heights. The school really needs to make either all of our games night games or none of them night games. I just can't pace myself when I have trained and trained for 11 AM starts and then I have to wait another 8 hours for the game to start.
Can you guys believe some douchenozzles got in my grill and called me a douchebag and told me to shut the fuck up at the end of the Iowa-OSU game in 2006? I was pretty loaded when I rolled into the stadium. Virtually the whole game I yelled at O'Kweefe to stop being such a pu$$y against number 1 and calling Norm Parker a meathead for rolling Klink out on Ginn or Gonzales every play. Then, at the end of the game, I banged on the sheet metal behind my seats and tried to get a "Tate for Heisman" chant started, which didn't work. That's when various groups of d-nozzles had a problem with me and demonstrated the precise reason me and Visor Boy's (barber) seats are in the back row (I want to see the punch or debris coming).
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Post by NOTTHOR on Feb 27, 2008 19:37:39 GMT -6
I have a lot of good drunk stories in IC, but they are more suitable for being told whilst drinking in IC than for posting on a board.
After a while, I kind of got sick of IC bars and me and barber invented the "Triangle of Terror." It would start at the Nick or Grizzlies. Then it would move to Mount Vernon where we would hit every bar in town (the first time we did it we planned to go to the microbrewery in Solon, but it was out of biz). Then, it would move to the Ranch in Crapids, followed by a bite at the Happy Chef, followed by rolling back to IC. We never ever drove back through University Heights though.
We also made the Triangle East, which was IC, Atalissa and SoCo.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Feb 27, 2008 21:47:19 GMT -6
One night, while I was partying with my sister again, we were at her friends house waiting for someone. It was taking forever, so I called up a friend, and we talked for about 1/2 hour, and I challenged myself to a little game...how fast can I drink this six pack of Rolling Rock. 8 minutes later, I was out of beer! I was acctually so drunk I drank an Iron Shitty.
Then we hit the town. We went to a house party, and I had a few, but by then I was so tanked, I was just sitting on the floor, which was alright since I didn't know anyone anyways.
We left the house party, and one of my friends stole a can of spray paint out of the garage from where the pary was. I proceeded to (attempt) to spray a cock on the sidewalk several times, although I am told that they did not look like cocks at all.
I remember very little from this night. I know that I kept falling down in the grass as we walked through town, and my friends kept telling me that cops were coming, and I would run and hide to avoid the public intox wrap, although there were no cops.
And perhaps my most epic drinking moment ever. I climbed on top of a parked car in a lot off of Iowa Street, whipped out the monster, and pissed right on that car, all the while yelling "HEY EVERYONE! I AM PISSING ON THIS CAR!"
I had many mysterious bruises the next day.
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Post by drakebulldog on Feb 27, 2008 23:06:34 GMT -6
Ball State, first game of the year I think it was '05. Had a very bad chest cold, and the A/C didn't work in our hotel room on Friday night (Super 8, I think they tore that hole down) anyway, was taking cold medicine, and the room was really hot. Anyway, we had our girls with us and started tailgating on Myrtle, about a 15 minute walk or 3 beers. I was doing all right until I started shotgunning beers with the college kids ( I always have lots of food and end up feeding the orphans so I make lots of friends) my wife told me to slow down, but by 10am I'm three sheets to the wind. I was dehydrated from the cold and throw cold meds on top of that...well... the walk to Kinnick was one for the ages.
I was holding my 9 yo's hand and I guess I did a header at the walking bridge just afteryou leave the Myrtle lot. I did alot of swaying and the whole time my wife is yelling, you are tarnishing your daughters idea of what a father should be.
I don't remember much until the 2nd half when I finally sobered up. That was a brutally hot day, must have spent 80 bucks on bottle water.
Lesson learned. To this day, when I leave for Kinnick, whether we stay in IA city or drive from DSM, the first thing I do is buy two 32 oz of gatorade and drink mucho aqua the night before.
PS...daughter is doing ok...the shrink feels she has put the incident behing her. She has since attended several games and tailgates without flinching when Daddy has a beer or twelve.
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Post by idrinkthereforeiam on Feb 27, 2008 23:11:14 GMT -6
Sorry, most of my drunk stories are from NIACC and UNI.
Most of my IC drunk stories are at football games.
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Post by drakebulldog on Feb 27, 2008 23:18:24 GMT -6
Sorry, most of my drunk stories are from NIACC and UNI. Most of my IC drunk stories are at football games. All of my druck stories at IC areat FB games...and span 25 years
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Post by lpcalihawk on Feb 28, 2008 10:07:37 GMT -6
Too many wasted days/nights in my 6 years of living in IC. I hit 19 bars in about 5 hours 1 night. The night ended with me getting into a fight with a bolted down trash can in front of the Summit.
I crapped in the urinal of a Porta-John that was stationed in the church lot off of Myrtle during tailgated. Too wasted to remember if I even wiped.
Got blasted at Herb 'n' Lous in West Branch after golfing with a buddy. Told the bartender I was Jesus and I was there to save her.
1999 Central Michigan game when the Hawks lost, I passed out in the NE corner after drinking a bottle of Captain. I laid on a bleacher and slept throught the whole 3rd quarter. Nobody was in that section, so no one bothered me.
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Post by kshawkesq on Feb 28, 2008 10:57:12 GMT -6
I'll tell one that hapened to one of my roomates. Freshman year, I lived in a triple in Hillcrest. I had l7 roomates that year becuase they all kept failing out. I partied along with them, but I managed to stay off academic probation. Anyhow, the first to go was my roomate Big Jake, a farm boy from Walcott, IA. He was 6'8 and 385lbs. He was to play for the football team, but he tore his ACL over the summer and his scholly was yanked (according to him). Anyhow, by thanksgiving he was failing his classes, had gotten his girlfriend pregnant and decided to leave school. We decided to take him to the Airliner for one last night before he left. It was quarter draw night. I do not embellish when I tell you he drank 63 of them. (they were 8oz cups, but it's still very impressive). After drinking all that beer, he was a bit hungry. we went next door to pancheros and he ordered 2 been and cheese El Gordo's. That's four pounds of refried beans people. We get back to the dorm, and he somehow makes it to the top bunk (yes, he bunked above me. Thank God for sturdry metal reinforcements). He naturally got sick and filled his pillowcase with about 5 pounds of beer and burritos. I share this story as it is easily the most I have ever seen anyone throw up in my life.
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Post by socal on Feb 28, 2008 11:32:55 GMT -6
Growing up in IC and going to the U of I, most of my drunk experiences were in IC. Reading this thread makes me remember why I haven't been drunk in well over a decade.
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Post by detlef on Feb 28, 2008 12:23:51 GMT -6
I am sure Matt Roth can tell some tales. As can that eBay predator Brad Lohaus.
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Post by Solar Stud on Feb 28, 2008 13:11:46 GMT -6
My roommate and I dined at the Brown Bottle once. We had the biggest, best steak with all the fixins', plus about 6 beers a piece, and a nice bottle of Merlot. We got about 85% wasted. This was 1981 and the bill was about $80 total...a LOT of $$$ for two college kids back then.
We then pulled off the perfect "dine and dash." Went into the bathroom together, walked out of the place about a minute apart.
Needless to say, we didn't go in there after that.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Feb 28, 2008 19:03:23 GMT -6
At the WMU game this year, I drank a ton during tailgating. I didn't know the score of the game for days afterwards. I have few memories of the acctual game, but I do know I pissed in an empty water bottle about a dozen times, in the stands, during the game. I just shoved it down my pants and let it rip. If anyone around me knew what I was doing, they didn't say anything.
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Post by Solar Stud on Feb 28, 2008 20:39:51 GMT -6
Surprised nobody has told a "picked up a really fat/ugly chick while drunk" story. Oh gosh, my time's up...I'll have to post mine at a later date....
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Post by ignatiusreilly on Feb 28, 2008 21:38:31 GMT -6
I have very many drunk in Iowa City stories, but the best ones are probably too incriminating to tell. Some stories are just too personal, and this also doesn't seem like the place for great stories in football history even though tailgating stories might be good. If I think of something I'll tell.
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Post by egadsto on Jul 17, 2014 8:01:55 GMT -6
You punks. I've dribbled moar beer down my chin than you fagts will drink in your lifetime.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Jul 17, 2014 8:10:57 GMT -6
You punks. I've dribbled moar beer down my chin than you fagts will drink in your lifetime. Put up or shut up, gramps.
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Post by NotMyKid on Jul 17, 2014 9:20:18 GMT -6
My roommate and I dined at the Brown Bottle once. We had the biggest, best steak with all the fixins', plus about 6 beers a piece, and a nice bottle of Merlot. We got about 85% wasted. This was 1981 and the bill was about $80 total...a LOT of $$$ for two college kids back then. We then pulled off the perfect "dine and dash." Went into the bathroom together, walked out of the place about a minute apart. Needless to say, we didn't go in there after that. This is some flat out bullshit and something I would brag about to anyone. I must of missed this thread the first time around.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Jul 17, 2014 9:24:27 GMT -6
U didn't drink til u were 25! BaIs this really that funny... fagt! I didn't drink until I was 22. Recognize bish. Also, you clearly don't have any good stories, or else you'd bring them. Can you at least tell me the fun you and your boys had programming text based fantasy adventure games on the Commodore 64 in the Burge basement?
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Jul 17, 2014 9:27:31 GMT -6
I didn't drink until I was 22. Recognize bish. Also, you clearly don't have any good stories, or else you'd bring them. Can you at least tell me the fun you and your boys had programming text based fantasy adventure games on the Commodore 64 in the Burge basement? Sorry brah, but if I could remember all muh bestest drunj stories from 1983-1987, it would mean I didn't do it right. You follow? I follow. You got shit to tell, so you're playing coy.
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Post by The Resistance on Jul 17, 2014 9:41:33 GMT -6
You punks. I've dribbled moar beer down my chin than you fagts will drink in your lifetime. Have to agree. LAME
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Post by Earl Slick on Jul 17, 2014 11:14:16 GMT -6
I was kicked out of the Airliner after a meeting with someone from the pharm college. Shortly after that I was thrown into the Johnson County jail - at 12:20 a.m. on my 23rd birthday. I remember a tiny triangular holding cell, a water fountain, and a video camera. I invented a game in which I would fill my mouth with water and spray the camera. After several rounds of this the water fountain mysteriously quit working so I rattled the cage and hollered until a cop came and asked me what all the noise was about. I told him I was thirsty. He told me they turned the water off because I was spraying the camera. I promised him if he turned the water back on I wouldn't spray the camera so he turned the water back on. I got a long drink of water then sprayed the camera. Much to my surprise they left the water on. I took this as an admission of defeat and declared myself winner of the game. They let me out at 6 a.m. while I was still buzzed from the beer and 'ludes. This isn't my best drunken fun in IC story.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Jul 17, 2014 11:16:38 GMT -6
I was kicked out of the Airliner after a meeting with someone from the pharm college. Shortly after that I was thrown into the Johnson County jail - at 12:20 a.m. on my 23rd birthday. I remember a tiny triangular holding cell, a water fountain, and a video camera. I invented a game in which I would fill my mouth with water and spray the camera. After several rounds of this the water fountain mysteriously quit working so I rattled the cage and hollered until a cop came and asked me what all the noise was about. I told him I was thirsty. He told me they turned the water off because I was spraying the camera. I promised him if he turned the water back on I wouldn't spray the camera so he turned the water back on. I got a long drink of water then sprayed the camera. Much to my surprise they left the water on. I took this as an admission of defeat and declared myself winner of the game. They let me out at 6 a.m. while I was still buzzed from the beer and 'ludes. This isn't my best drunken fun in IC story. That's the shit I'm talking about.
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tikibarber
Prostate Massager
brinkly WAG
Posts: 159
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Post by tikibarber on Jul 17, 2014 11:40:46 GMT -6
U didn't drink til u were 25! BaIs this really that funny... fagt! I didn't drink until I was 22. Recognize bish. Also, you clearly don't have any good stories, or else you'd bring them. Can you at least tell me the fun you and your boys had programming text based fantasy adventure games on the Commodore 64 in the Burge basement? LOL what an enormous doosh you must be
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