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Post by socal on Feb 5, 2015 17:14:36 GMT -6
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Post by LansingHawk on Feb 5, 2015 21:12:16 GMT -6
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Post by Ginger on Feb 5, 2015 22:55:55 GMT -6
I just saw this. Amazing how animals can get along but people that never have met each other in message boards, cannot.
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Post by Stan's Field on Feb 6, 2015 1:22:32 GMT -6
I just saw this. Amazing how animals can get along but people that never have met each other in message boards, cannot. Let's argue about cooking bacon. #TeamIceHide-%TeamGhost
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Post by Presidential Immunity Cock on Feb 6, 2015 3:12:54 GMT -6
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Post by Presidential Immunity Cock on Feb 6, 2015 3:17:34 GMT -6
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Post by Presidential Immunity Cock on Feb 6, 2015 3:18:04 GMT -6
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Post by Presidential Immunity Cock on Feb 6, 2015 3:20:05 GMT -6
I found a present for Billy.
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Post by Presidential Immunity Cock on Feb 6, 2015 3:27:53 GMT -6
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Post by Ginger on Feb 6, 2015 6:44:58 GMT -6
I just saw this. Amazing how animals can get along but people that never have met each other in message boards, cannot. Let's argue about cooking bacon. #TeamIceHide-%TeamGhost There's nothing to argue about. Baking is best. #teambacon
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Other
Sports Moderator
Interim Master of the Universe
Posts: 5,189
Tits or GTFO: GTFO
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Post by Other on Feb 6, 2015 11:46:03 GMT -6
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Post by A boy named Sioux on Feb 6, 2015 13:12:09 GMT -6
So?
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Post by egadsto on Feb 6, 2015 13:27:09 GMT -6
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Post by A boy named Sioux on Feb 6, 2015 13:31:34 GMT -6
Exactly.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Feb 7, 2015 10:45:23 GMT -6
Are the gifs freezing this page up for anyone else? It's happened to me on two laptops in two places.
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Post by LansingHawk on Feb 7, 2015 10:47:01 GMT -6
Yes
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Feb 7, 2015 10:50:16 GMT -6
I was in 7th or 8th grade – let’s just say 7th because the younger I am in this story, the less ashamed I feel about it. It was my 12th birthday and my dad had made a dinner reservation for my sister and I at Benihana and because it was a special day I wore my finest outfit; a red and white wind-breaker and my favorite pair of white corduroy Quicksilver pants. It was at some point during dessert that my stomach began to bubble and I was suddenly overcome by a strong desire to relieve myself. I also have to mention that, throughout my childhood, I had been mortified of shitting in public restrooms and refused to do so unless it was absolutely necessary. It was not so much a cleanliness issue, but rather the sanctity of my shit-time that I strongly valued. In any case, this time it was absolutely necessary that I find a toilet. I excused myself and proceeded to the restroom only to find it bustling with men – much too busy for my liking and instantly filling me with a sense of anxiety.
To make matters worse, the only stall available was occupied and being the self-conscious kid that I was, I was not going to wait until the person was done. Instead, I pretended to pee at the urinal while releasing a succession of farts that did not go unnoticed. I returned to my table and my dad must have noticed the panicked look on my face because he asked if I was OK. I tried to play it off as we shared the table with another family and I didn’t want to seem like I was in agony and could explode at any moment. Five excruciating minutes later, I was subtly pressuring my dad to get the check so we could get the fuck out of there, but my bowels were one step ahead of me. Without warning, I bolted toward the bathroom, relieved to find the stall and bathroom empty. No sooner did I unbutton my pants that I released a hot stream of muddy shit on the floor beside the toilet. I had missed. Badly. My sense of relief quickly dissipated as I realized I had to get the hell out of the bathroom before someone realized what I had done. I wiped my ass as best I could and halfheartedly covered the shit puddle with toilet paper and exited the bathroom.
As I was exiting, a boy my age was entering so I bowed my head and decided it was probably best that I leave the restaurant entirely. I had almost made it to the exit when I heard a voice behind me cry out, “Someone just pooped all over the bathroom!” Hoping no one was looking at me, I tried to walk as fast as possible without rousing any suspicion. I exited the restaurant and took refuge by the dumpsters adjacent to the parking lot. It was there I wait for the next 15 minutes until my dad and sister finally walked out of the restaurant. Hearing my dad ask my sister “Where the hell is your brother?” I tried as discreetly as possible to get their attention. “Psst. Dad!” I exclaimed several times until he was able to follow my voice to the dumpsters. No sooner did he ask me what I was doing there did he scan me up and down and immediately understood. He also saw something I had not. My white corduroys were covered in shit. That was the last time I ever went to Benihana or wore white pants. It also made for one of the more uncomfortable rides home. After telling this story to my friends several years ago, to this day they continue to say, “Psst. Dad.”
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Post by FoxHuntChampion on Feb 7, 2015 10:53:06 GMT -6
Are the gifs freezing this page up for anyone else? It's happened to me on two laptops in two places. get rid of them modgal
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Feb 7, 2015 10:54:05 GMT -6
I have two boys ages (at the time) 6 and 4. They were playing in our backyard while my wife was in the house. The 6 year old suddenly bursts in the house screaming in abject terror at my wife, "Come quick! Lucas needs help!" Thinking she would arrive on the scene to find compound fractures or an open skull wound, my wife was surprised to find my 4 year old son crying while curled in a ball completely naked in the corner of the yard.
He looked like a mini-convict waiting for delousing. The 4 year old, who tends toward shyness, could not stop crying long enough to give a coherent retelling of the traumatic events that had led to him curled in a ball naked in our yard.
Eventually, the 6 year old related that in the middle of playing, Lucas came to the sudden realization that his imminent need to poop would preclude him from making it inside the house to the restroom. In a panic, he stripped off all his clothes and proceeded to poop in the yard, crying out of embarrassment the whole time. Our 12 year old lab immediately came over, ate his poop, threw it up, and then ate it again as my horrified children looked on. Apparently this was all so traumatic that the only logical thing to do was to curl in a naked ball and cry until help arrived.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Feb 7, 2015 10:59:22 GMT -6
Are the gifs freezing this page up for anyone else? It's happened to me on two laptops in two places. get rid of them modgal Naw. Freedom means you can do whatever you want, all the time.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Feb 7, 2015 11:04:04 GMT -6
I was duck hunting in west Tennessee last weekend and heard this story in the duck blind. For the record, duck blinds are great places to hear poop stories.
There is no bathroom in a duck blind. Pouring off used coffee is a fairly simple task but ridding yourself of last night's all-you-can-eat fried catfish buffet is a bit more involved. One of the guys hunting with us recalled a day when his buddy had to dump in the blind, so they sent him around back where the boat was tied up. He hung his ass off the side of the boat and took care of business.
It had been quite cold the night before so the lake was frozen in the morning and they had to break ice with the boat on their way to the blind. Our protagonist unknowingly (or perhaps not), shit on a piece of ice, thus leaving his steaming pile above water. Sometime later the wind carried the turd-berg from behind the blind to the front of the blind and left it floating in front of another hunter with a weak stomach. This resulted in dry heaving, complaining, and threats of bodily harm. The turd-berg remained stubbornly in place in front of his seat, wafting it's powerful aroma directly up into his face.
After some time, he'd had enough, leveled his shotgun at the turd and pulled the trigger. This resulted in the turd blowing up and back into his face, hair, and across everyone else sitting in the blind. Realizing what had happened, the dry heaves turned into full on vomiting, adding insult to injury.
Never, ever, shoot a floating turd.
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Post by FoxHuntChampion on Feb 7, 2015 11:10:59 GMT -6
Naw. Freedom means you can do whatever you want, all the time. YOU HAVE GIVEN ME NO SUCH FREEDOMS.
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Post by Presidential Immunity Cock on Feb 9, 2015 6:33:24 GMT -6
Billy wants more Gifs? Ok
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Post by Presidential Immunity Cock on Feb 9, 2015 6:34:22 GMT -6
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Post by Presidential Immunity Cock on Feb 9, 2015 6:35:15 GMT -6
INCOMING MISSLE! With impact ready vibration.
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