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Post by NOTTHOR on Apr 21, 2008 10:20:13 GMT -6
She'll be 32. I would soak myself in oil and put a bow on, but I don't think she'll dig that.
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Post by Iowafan1 on Apr 21, 2008 10:37:19 GMT -6
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Post by jwiley10 on Apr 21, 2008 12:28:21 GMT -6
Clarisonic Skin Care System. It was on Oprah's Favorite Things this past Christmas. My wife is 31 and loves it. Every woman in that 28-35 age range who has the system that I have talked to swears by it. www.clarisonic.com
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Post by 101 on Apr 21, 2008 12:59:36 GMT -6
This is the place for smart-ass, "12 year old" type comments, right? If so, then here's your answer. A divorce.
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Post by NOTTHOR on Apr 21, 2008 13:01:23 GMT -6
No 101, I need real ideas. Yes, a divorce seems like a good idea, but I don't have enough assets for Ma to take yet, so she wouldn't want that.
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Post by idrinkthereforeiam on Apr 21, 2008 13:59:32 GMT -6
A dildo.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Apr 21, 2008 14:08:21 GMT -6
Grow up loser, she is 32. A double-ended dildo is what she needs
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Post by idrinkthereforeiam on Apr 21, 2008 14:08:51 GMT -6
Grow up loser, she is 32. A double-ended dildo is what she needs As long as BTR can join.
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Apr 21, 2008 14:14:43 GMT -6
Grow up loser, she is 32. A double-ended dildo is what she needs As long as BTR can join. If BTR is getting involved, you better get her a strap on.
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Post by phenry on Apr 21, 2008 14:27:51 GMT -6
Don't all big time attorneys get their wives either BMW's or a new rack? Will test drive either if you need an unbiased third party evaluation.
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Post by MoHawk on Apr 21, 2008 14:32:29 GMT -6
I'd go with a trip to her favorite spa or something along those lines. Maybe do something nice for her...say do the dishes for a few nights, or some chores around the house she normally does for a day or two.
I dunno. Buying something is always nice, but since I'm an unwashed poor and don't have the financial resources to send the kindergarten teacher to a spa for the weekend, I'd opt for the chore idea...or something along those lines.
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Post by hawkeyescott on Apr 21, 2008 15:07:28 GMT -6
Grow up loser, she is 32. A double-ended dildo is what she needs Your both wrong. What she really needs is a box of condoms for her boyfriend when he comes over while BTR is at work or out cougar hunting.
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Post by NOTTHOR on Apr 21, 2008 15:49:37 GMT -6
Alright guys, we've already got a double shocker, a single shocker with a big piece on the other end, a strapon, a liberator, Ma is a barebacker, and Ma won't let me buy paper plates and cups and plastic silverware, which precludes her from being relieved of dish duty (I don't wersh dishes, we should use paper everything, but no Ma is all like "Paper is bad for the environment, they cut down trees, and you throw it away, and they use gas to bring it here, etc"). The clarisonic thing won't arrive for 5-7 days, which is out of the question. She don't like football.
Any other ideas?
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Post by 101 on Apr 21, 2008 16:43:10 GMT -6
Ralphie....this should be pretty simple for a smart guy.
Don't buy her something that she could by herself (Coach bag). Don't get her something that she already does (spa, etc.).
How about you invest a little of yourself into the gift and think of something you could do for her that would be special. Something that shows you care and that you put a little thought into it. Not just something that you can charge on your Platinum Amex card and call it a day.
Good god man. Did she marry you only because you weren't a "poor"?
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Post by NOTTHOR on Apr 21, 2008 17:11:02 GMT -6
Did she marry you only because you weren't a "poor"? Only had $8 when we met. She saw a lot of upside.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Apr 21, 2008 21:01:51 GMT -6
Did she marry you only because you weren't a "poor"? Only had $8 when we met. She saw a lot of upside. In that case, I would buy her a new Seeing Eye Dog
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Post by iammrhawkeyes on Apr 21, 2008 22:02:18 GMT -6
Ralphie....this should be pretty simple for a smart guy. Don't buy her something that she could by herself (Coach bag). Don't get her something that she already does (spa, etc.). How about you invest a little of yourself into the gift and think of something you could do for her that would be special. Something that shows you care and that you put a little thought into it. Not just something that you can charge on your Platinum Amex card and call it a day. Good god man. Did she marry you only because you weren't a "poor"? Ralph's too late to have put a little thought into it (much less any). But I disagree with 101. Charge that Titanium card up with a nice piece of jewelry. Last second guilt buying can produce some wonderful results. Take it from a happily married man.
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Post by Norm "racerhawk" Parker on Apr 22, 2008 5:43:29 GMT -6
Ralphie....this should be pretty simple for a smart guy. Don't buy her something that she could by herself (Coach bag). Don't get her something that she already does (spa, etc.). How about you invest a little of yourself into the gift and think of something you could do for her that would be special. Something that shows you care and that you put a little thought into it. Not just something that you can charge on your Platinum Amex card and call it a day. Good god man. Did she marry you only because you weren't a "poor"? Ralph's too late to have put a little thought into it (much less any). But I disagree with 101. Charge that Titanium card up with a nice piece of jewelry. Last second guilt buying can produce some wonderful results. Take it from a happily married man. I agree completely. Jewelry. Or, perhaps a card stating you've purchased a vacation to _______________ (someplace amazing). I think either would work great.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Apr 22, 2008 6:03:01 GMT -6
A matching red sweater?
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Post by detlef on Apr 22, 2008 7:53:10 GMT -6
A Steve Carfino bubble perm wig. Suitable for her head or her private parts.
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Post by iagirl223 on Apr 22, 2008 17:33:35 GMT -6
I lke MoHawks idea of the spa package unless she's frequentling those places already. In that case I would send her and a best friend on a weekend trip to Cancun, Cabo, Vegas maybe. This will free you up to continue to track the Chicago Cougars. Plus I'm thinking that many of the upwardly mobile unpoors send their ladies to New York for a long weekend. Kind of a don't ask don't tell kind of a thing. Just sayin'
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Post by iammrhawkeyes on Apr 22, 2008 20:20:39 GMT -6
So, ralphie. What did you end up getting for the better half?
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Post by idrinkthereforeiam on Apr 22, 2008 20:45:12 GMT -6
Def. not Iowa gear because BTR isn't an Iowa fan.
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Post by NOTTHOR on Apr 23, 2008 7:33:03 GMT -6
Spank - eff you.
Still haven't decided. Got home from work at 2 this morning and Ma said all she wanted was for me to come home early today and have supper with her, so I can't fuck around on the board too much today.
Oh yeah, and Ma let me know she spent about a grand on Saturday while me and barber were out drinking, so she doesn't really "need" anything.
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Post by idrinkthereforeiam on Apr 23, 2008 7:36:50 GMT -6
She "needs" to get her plastic taken from her.
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