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Post by Ginger on Nov 26, 2014 8:53:49 GMT -6
My question is this...why are you cleaning it for her? What is the incentive for her to clean her own room (or at least keep it some semblance of tidy) if she knows you'll just do it eventually? I'm not saying she has to be Martha Stewart clean, but isn't there some balance you can strike where the room is, let's say, an acceptable amount of messy, rather than you literally making it your job? I get what you're saying. She doesn't want me or expect me to do it but it's beyond her ability. We've already had a few conversations yesterday about the behavior. The lack of respect for her stuff, things she's been given, respect for me and our house. How hoarding can be indicative of mental illness.... I am not a neat freak and can tolerate a fair amount of messiness but this is beyond messy.
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Post by BrainFerentz4Prez on Nov 26, 2014 9:10:37 GMT -6
Duff solution:
Tell her she has to have her room spotless each night before she goes to sleep. If she doesn't you and Mr Grant are to go into her room while she's in bed, lock the door, and vigorously make out standing next to her bed until she cleans the room. Once the room is clean you two can leave and finish the deal.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Nov 26, 2014 9:11:31 GMT -6
Obviously I don't know your situation, but from what you've described, it doesn't sound like she's hoarding, it sounds like she's just messy. Hoarders have a compulsive desire to keep things, and it sounds to me, again, just based off of what you've described, that she's not driven to hoard, but just throwing shit away and not cleaning it up. A floor full of towels and dirty dishes isn't something a hoarder would keep, based off of my, admittedly limited, knowledge of the condition.
One thing I know is that a common symptom of hoarding is embarrassment of the items they hoard. Is that typical of your child's behavior? Does she refuse to let others into her space out of embarrassment or anxiety that people will either find her weird or muss with her stuff?
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Post by Ginger on Nov 26, 2014 9:12:07 GMT -6
Duff solution: Tell her she has to have her room spotless each night before she goes to sleep. If she doesn't you and Mr Grant are to go into her room while she's in bed, lock the door, and vigorously make out standing next to her bed until she cleans the room. Once the room is clean you two can leave and finish the deal. Sounds like a solution where at least two parties will be happy...
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Other
Sports Moderator
Interim Master of the Universe
Posts: 5,178
Tits or GTFO: GTFO
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Post by Other on Nov 26, 2014 9:19:12 GMT -6
Sorry you're having to deal with that Ginger. Ghost makes a good point about distinguishing between 'messiness' and 'hoarding'.
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Post by Presidential Immunity Cock on Nov 26, 2014 9:20:23 GMT -6
I could go and ship some norovirus to you and you can put it in her room and when she gets sick tell her its because her room is a fucking disease ridden hellhole from being so messy.
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Post by Ginger on Nov 26, 2014 9:29:54 GMT -6
Obviously I don't know your situation, but from what you've described, it doesn't sound like she's hoarding, it sounds like she's just messy. Hoarders have a compulsive desire to keep things, and it sounds to me, again, just based off of what you've described, that she's not driven to hoard, but just throwing shit away and not cleaning it up. A floor full of towels and dirty dishes isn't something a hoarder would keep, based off of my, admittedly limited, knowledge of the condition. One thing I know is that a common symptom of hoarding is embarrassment of the items they hoard. Is that typical of your child's behavior? Does she refuse to let others into her space out of embarrassment or anxiety that people will either find her weird or muss with her stuff? She has a compulsive desire to keep trash and garbage in her room from what I can tell. She is not supposed to have food in her room. I found bags and bags of cereal, crackers, bagels, stuffed all over. She doesn't want anyone to come in her room. If all she had was a floorful of towels and a few dishes I would be done doing this by now. Maybe she's not a hoarder according to the DSM but she needs to break this behavior now. All her clothing is in my family room and she's sorting through it to get rid of what she won't/can't wear. My moms sister was a hoarder.it took two giant dumpsters to empty the junk out of her house after she fell in it and the police had to help her out of there. My focus today will be finishing up and then getting what I need for dinner tomorrow.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Nov 26, 2014 10:33:00 GMT -6
Obviously I don't know your situation, but from what you've described, it doesn't sound like she's hoarding, it sounds like she's just messy. Hoarders have a compulsive desire to keep things, and it sounds to me, again, just based off of what you've described, that she's not driven to hoard, but just throwing shit away and not cleaning it up. A floor full of towels and dirty dishes isn't something a hoarder would keep, based off of my, admittedly limited, knowledge of the condition. One thing I know is that a common symptom of hoarding is embarrassment of the items they hoard. Is that typical of your child's behavior? Does she refuse to let others into her space out of embarrassment or anxiety that people will either find her weird or muss with her stuff? She has a compulsive desire to keep trash and garbage in her room from what I can tell. She is not supposed to have food in her room. I found bags and bags of cereal, crackers, bagels, stuffed all over. She doesn't want anyone to come in her room. If all she had was a floorful of towels and a few dishes I would be done doing this by now. Maybe she's not a hoarder according to the DSM but she needs to break this behavior now. All her clothing is in my family room and she's sorting through it to get rid of what she won't/can't wear. My moms sister was a hoarder.it took two giant dumpsters to empty the junk out of her house after she fell in it and the police had to help her out of there. My focus today will be finishing up and then getting what I need for dinner tomorrow. The reason I ask is because a clinical hoarder will attach value to the items they hoard that other people can't see. For instance, they never throw out old magazines because they might need to reference the information some day, or they buy every set of coasters they see and keep them because they may need it someday. You say she has a floor full of trash. Does this "trash" have any intrinsic value to her that she refuses to part with it? A kid with ADD with a different thought process may want to keep, say, scraps of paper, bince their creative minds thing they'll make something out of it. The food thing also has me puzzled, and is actually more concerning to me than the hoarding. Food hoarding isn't a classical hoarding behavior, bince food spoils and loses its value. However, food hoarding, particularly in children, is a sign of either food security issues (i.e. not always having enough to eat, so saving food for when they're hungry), or signs of an eating disorder. As a teacher, we were always paying attention to the kids who would hoard their food and snacks, because if the kid knows there is nothing in the fridge, they will eat half their lunch and try and sneak it home. I can assume that your daughter does not face this problem. However, food hoarding for teenage girls could indicate an eating disorder. Food hoarders with abundant food do so because they are ashamed of, or need to exhibit control of their eating. They may hoard food so they can binge in private, or eat a small amount and then hide the food in shame because of body image issues. If, and this is a BIG IF, her food hoarding is a concern beyond messiness, you may want to keep a close eye on her eating patterns.
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Post by A boy named Sioux on Nov 26, 2014 10:39:57 GMT -6
If anyone knows about teenage girls, it's Billiam.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Nov 26, 2014 12:04:27 GMT -6
The reason I ask is because a clinical hoarder will attach value to the items they hoard that other people can't see. For instance, they never throw out old magazines because they might need to reference the information some day, or they buy every set of coasters they see and keep them because they may need it someday. You say she has a floor full of trash. Does this "trash" have any intrinsic value to her that she refuses to part with it? A kid with ADD with a different thought process may want to keep, say, scraps of paper, bince their creative minds thing they'll make something out of it. The food thing also has me puzzled, and is actually more concerning to me than the hoarding. Food hoarding isn't a classical hoarding behavior, bince food spoils and loses its value. However, food hoarding, particularly in children, is a sign of either food security issues (i.e. not always having enough to eat, so saving food for when they're hungry), or signs of an eating disorder. As a teacher, we were always paying attention to the kids who would hoard their food and snacks, because if the kid knows there is nothing in the fridge, they will eat half their lunch and try and sneak it home. I can assume that your daughter does not face this problem. However, food hoarding for teenage girls could indicate an eating disorder. Food hoarders with abundant food do so because they are ashamed of, or need to exhibit control of their eating. They may hoard food so they can binge in private, or eat a small amount and then hide the food in shame because of body image issues. If, and this is a BIG IF, her food hoarding is a concern beyond messiness, you may want to keep a close eye on her eating patterns. ALL THE ANSWERS: YOU HAVE THEM. I didn't really assert any authority on the issue, nor did I offer any concrete solutions. I'm just trying to help my friend with what knowledge I have.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Nov 26, 2014 12:42:50 GMT -6
I only regret I don't have moar of myself to give.
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Post by NotMyKid on Nov 26, 2014 15:38:13 GMT -6
Hopefully you didn't find your "back massager" in there.
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Post by Stan's Field on Nov 26, 2014 18:11:02 GMT -6
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Post by livingintheusa on Nov 26, 2014 19:24:43 GMT -6
Obviously I don't know your situation, but from what you've described, it doesn't sound like she's hoarding, it sounds like she's just messy. Hoarders have a compulsive desire to keep things, and it sounds to me, again, just based off of what you've described, that she's not driven to hoard, but just throwing shit away and not cleaning it up. A floor full of towels and dirty dishes isn't something a hoarder would keep, based off of my, admittedly limited, knowledge of the condition. One thing I know is that a common symptom of hoarding is embarrassment of the items they hoard. Is that typical of your child's behavior? Does she refuse to let others into her space out of embarrassment or anxiety that people will either find her weird or muss with her stuff? She has a compulsive desire to keep trash and garbage in her room from what I can tell. She is not supposed to have food in her room. I found bags and bags of cereal, crackers, bagels, stuffed all over. She doesn't want anyone to come in her room. If all she had was a floorful of towels and a few dishes I would be done doing this by now. Maybe she's not a hoarder according to the DSM but she needs to break this behavior now. All her clothing is in my family room and she's sorting through it to get rid of what she won't/can't wear. My moms sister was a hoarder.it took two giant dumpsters to empty the junk out of her house after she fell in it and the police had to help her out of there. My focus today will be finishing up and then getting what I need for dinner tomorrow. That makes sense to me
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Nov 26, 2014 22:21:18 GMT -6
I only regret I don't have moar of myself to give. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. You have girly hands. Your whiff wasn't complaining about my girly dick. LOL girly dick.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Nov 26, 2014 22:33:22 GMT -6
Mis twato is mas macho
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Post by Ginger on Nov 29, 2014 13:42:38 GMT -6
She has a compulsive desire to keep trash and garbage in her room from what I can tell. She is not supposed to have food in her room. I found bags and bags of cereal, crackers, bagels, stuffed all over. She doesn't want anyone to come in her room. If all she had was a floorful of towels and a few dishes I would be done doing this by now. Maybe she's not a hoarder according to the DSM but she needs to break this behavior now. All her clothing is in my family room and she's sorting through it to get rid of what she won't/can't wear. My moms sister was a hoarder.it took two giant dumpsters to empty the junk out of her house after she fell in it and the police had to help her out of there. My focus today will be finishing up and then getting what I need for dinner tomorrow. The reason I ask is because a clinical hoarder will attach value to the items they hoard that other people can't see. For instance, they never throw out old magazines because they might need to reference the information some day, (Uh oh...I might have a problem with that )or they buy every set of coasters they see and keep them because they may need it someday. You say she has a floor full of trash. Does this "trash" have any intrinsic value to her that she refuses to part with it? A kid with ADD with a different thought process may want to keep, say, scraps of paper, bince their creative minds thing they'll make something out of it. (I don't think she attaches any value to her trash, so you're correct, as I know that hoarders do think even trash is important and it's hard to throw out)The food thing also has me puzzled, and is actually more concerning to me than the hoarding. Food hoarding isn't a classical hoarding behavior, bince food spoils and loses its value. However, food hoarding, particularly in children, is a sign of either food security issues (i.e. not always having enough to eat, so saving food for when they're hungry), or signs of an eating disorder. As a teacher, we were always paying attention to the kids who would hoard their food and snacks, because if the kid knows there is nothing in the fridge, they will eat half their lunch and try and sneak it home. I can assume that your daughter does not face this problem. However, food hoarding for teenage girls could indicate an eating disorder. Food hoarders with abundant food do so because they are ashamed of, or need to exhibit control of their eating. They may hoard food so they can binge in private, or eat a small amount and then hide the food in shame because of body image issues. (This is probably more of the reason. She has plenty of food to eat in the house. If she has a food disorder it's eating too much. She is not supposed to have food in the basement because she leaves it down there and doesn't clean up messes.Starting around 2nd grade, she started to have an insatiable appetite. She was constantly hungry. She ate breakfast and then would talk about what she was going to have for lunch. She was always wanting to snack. Interestingly, this was also was the time when her ADD started. Her focus at school dissolved. Her weight has increased and her doctor has been concerned for years. She's seen a nutritionist. We've talked and talked about making better food choices. She's overweight but doesn't see herself as such...except now in high school, she has been made fun of for being overweight, so I think it's hitting her. If, and this is a BIG IF, her food hoarding is a concern beyond messiness, you may want to keep a close eye on her eating patterns.
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Post by Ginger on Nov 29, 2014 13:45:56 GMT -6
Also, I've decided she's not a hoarder but definitely a big time slob that can be rehabilitated. On Thanksgiving, she woke up early and cleaned our entire family room of all of the stuff she had in it as well as everything else. She did a great job....but...she hasn't finished what I started in her room.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Nov 29, 2014 13:48:33 GMT -6
Girls are disgusting. Boys smell worse, but girls can be gross.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Nov 29, 2014 14:12:10 GMT -6
Say wut M9?? Fite me IRL then.
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