Post by NOTTHOR on Jan 29, 2015 11:13:28 GMT -6
Yesterday was bonus day for the pissant associates. Below is the chart of what the top NYC firms paid (class year on the left, bonus amount on right).
2014: 15,000
2013: 15,000
2012: 25,000
2011: 50,000
2010: 65,000
2009: 80,000
2008: 90,000
2007: 100,000
I used to get somewhere around $20-40k for mah bonus and because we had a mass exodus of people senior to me shortly after I started, I took a level of nutkick these kids couldn't even fathom. We used to also only pay bonuses if you billed 2,150 hours (you could use 100 pro bono hours in that) and I had one year where I billed 2,136 hours with no pro bono and they told me to eat a bag of dicks for mah bonus. These little fucks had the gall to spend the entirety of the day yesterday bitching about "only" getting $40k or $60k and shit liek that and some of them didn't even hit the fucking manageable 2000 hour threshold that is now the target for bonus. So me and one other pahtnah had to go office to office and drop fucking doses of reality on these kids. I fucking worked for 2 god damned years at one of the highly leveraged sweatshops that sets those "market" bonuses and it was sheer misery, a level of nutkick that would crush these kiddos. They just don't fucking get it.
Early last week, I came off a 7.5 day period where I billed 136 hours and during that run, I was constantly telling the kiddos how "this sucks, but it ain't that bad" and shit because I've had 4 month stretches without a fucking day off and where I billed over 80 hours every god damned week. I've had stretches where I couldn't go home for 4 fucking straight days. That is the shit sammich one must eat to lubricate the gears of the firms that generate profits so outsized that they pay bonuses that hit 6 figures.
One ringleader of the bitching brigade is up for pahtnah this year. He got $60k despite not making his hours, will prolly make moar than me this year, especially after giving effect to health insurance costs and the way the government skullfucks the "self-employed," and he just walked around shitting all over the god damned place. I fucking warned him he wasn't gonna get fucking 90 grand and he was shocked when he didn't. When you are up for pahtnah, you have to quell the bitching, not fucking start it, because you are expected to demonstrate an understanding of what it means to be an owner and manager in the enterprise. That fucking kid better pray with every ounce of his being that I am not this pissed off when the discussion of who to put up for pahtnah happens in 6 months.
Short of punching kids in the face, any of y'all management types have any suggestions for dealing with these little shits?
2014: 15,000
2013: 15,000
2012: 25,000
2011: 50,000
2010: 65,000
2009: 80,000
2008: 90,000
2007: 100,000
I used to get somewhere around $20-40k for mah bonus and because we had a mass exodus of people senior to me shortly after I started, I took a level of nutkick these kids couldn't even fathom. We used to also only pay bonuses if you billed 2,150 hours (you could use 100 pro bono hours in that) and I had one year where I billed 2,136 hours with no pro bono and they told me to eat a bag of dicks for mah bonus. These little fucks had the gall to spend the entirety of the day yesterday bitching about "only" getting $40k or $60k and shit liek that and some of them didn't even hit the fucking manageable 2000 hour threshold that is now the target for bonus. So me and one other pahtnah had to go office to office and drop fucking doses of reality on these kids. I fucking worked for 2 god damned years at one of the highly leveraged sweatshops that sets those "market" bonuses and it was sheer misery, a level of nutkick that would crush these kiddos. They just don't fucking get it.
Early last week, I came off a 7.5 day period where I billed 136 hours and during that run, I was constantly telling the kiddos how "this sucks, but it ain't that bad" and shit because I've had 4 month stretches without a fucking day off and where I billed over 80 hours every god damned week. I've had stretches where I couldn't go home for 4 fucking straight days. That is the shit sammich one must eat to lubricate the gears of the firms that generate profits so outsized that they pay bonuses that hit 6 figures.
One ringleader of the bitching brigade is up for pahtnah this year. He got $60k despite not making his hours, will prolly make moar than me this year, especially after giving effect to health insurance costs and the way the government skullfucks the "self-employed," and he just walked around shitting all over the god damned place. I fucking warned him he wasn't gonna get fucking 90 grand and he was shocked when he didn't. When you are up for pahtnah, you have to quell the bitching, not fucking start it, because you are expected to demonstrate an understanding of what it means to be an owner and manager in the enterprise. That fucking kid better pray with every ounce of his being that I am not this pissed off when the discussion of who to put up for pahtnah happens in 6 months.
Short of punching kids in the face, any of y'all management types have any suggestions for dealing with these little shits?
