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Post by theplayer on Dec 27, 2016 22:43:41 GMT -6
yes the fat guy counts
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Post by egadsto on Dec 28, 2016 10:11:16 GMT -6
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Post by thunderhawk on Dec 28, 2016 10:52:45 GMT -6
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Post by thunderhawk on Dec 28, 2016 10:57:48 GMT -6
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Post by thunderhawk on Dec 28, 2016 10:58:21 GMT -6
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Post by thunderhawk on Dec 28, 2016 10:59:05 GMT -6
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Dec 28, 2016 10:59:55 GMT -6
So in my epic bitchfest before, I said I would discuss the good parts of this movie. I also said Without Star Wars, this is just a slightly above average, but ultimately forgettable action movie. Paradoxically, it's foothold on classic Star Wars is at once the best thing about it, but also continually harmful to the immersion of the film. So let me explain that a little bit further.
Welcome to the morally ambiguous Star Wars universe. Although past movies have had slight anti-heroes, and went and ret-conned them out (Han murdering Greedo), this movie really dials that up. Jyn is a criminal who is busted out of prison and that the robot is afraid of. Forest Whitaker is a terrorist who basically looks like Darth Vader. Latin Heart-throb (whom I learned from a video is named Cassian Andor) is some kind of CIA wet work specialist for the rebels. Galen is an imperial collaborator trying to take it down from the inside. Whereas in New Hope, Luke is an awe-shucks farm boy who is for some reason given a billion dollar fighter and put in a vital combat mission for reasons untold, in this story, our heroes are all broken people, who we see face the evil of the Empire, and decide to stand up against it when given a chance to redeem themselves. While the story doesn't hit on all of its notes, it is kind of like a Dirty Dozen in space, so that's kind of fun.
Now, I know I bitched on the villains in my earlier rant, but liek I said, being part of teh Star Wars universe is a blessing and a curse. Part of the blessing though, is that because we have seen Tarkin and Vader in action in the past, we know they're evil, so their jumbled motivations are tolerable because we've seen them blow up fucking planets like it ain't nothing. While both Tarkin and Vader look horrible, they work well because we've seen them before. Tarkin, especially is good, bince he's not only a world destroying asshole, but also a credit-stealing middle manager who is fucking over dudes on his way up the corporate ladder. Personally, I thought that made him a better villain to relate with.
I'd also like to discuss the "Gritty war movie" aesthetic we were told we were seeing. Often enough, surprisingly, it works. Remember the battle of Hoth, where the Rebels were fighting a desperate battle, but there were these unstopable walking monsters beating the shit out of them. Yeah, that was awesome in the 80's, but you'd think the only effect an AT-AT walker would have now would be nostalgia. However, in our climactic desperate battle, our heroes encounter walkers, and they actually work as fearsome instruments of terror. I was not expecting that. In fact, the last act of this movie works really well. I didn't think the space battle was really necessary in the grand scheme of things, and was mostly filler, but they did do a few things to make it work really well. For one, they flooded them bitches with TIE fighters, to show what terrible odds the Rebels faced. The Rebels also had to resort to clever and unusual tactics to win when faced with unstoppable firepower...looking at you ramming two star destroyers into one another. However, the ground battle is where I think the good shit really is. The plan is for our main heroes to break into an imperial facility to steal the Death Star schematics to find the weak spot, while the rest of them create a diversionary assault. At the same time, Krenick realizes that the Rebels are probably looking for the plan, and he heads there too, except he doesn't warn them because it's his fault the weakness to the station got leaked he's trying to cover his fuckup so Tarkin doesn't tattle on him to the Emporor (like I said, Tarkin is an effective middle-management asshole in this movie). Meanwhile, on the ground, the rebel army starts explosions all over the place, and has hit and run attacks, so the Imperials have no idea what is going on. They think it's a large scale attack because they're doing some clever counter-intelligence. Things get a little corny when each individual hero pretty much has one final vital part of the plan to pull off, which they sacrifice their lives to do, but it works. Not because we like the characters, so much, but because we know the Death Star is bad ass, so we know the overall stakes...like I said, Star Wars hurts, and Star Wars helps.
I think the biggest growth arc in the film is the Rebel Alliance itself. When we first meet it, it's fractured, pretty ineffective, and kind of annoying. Jimmy Smits and a bunch of non-CGI muppets spend liek 10 minutes arguing about if they should surrender or not. However, their Pyrrhic victory at the end seems to embolden them, which explains why they seemed focused in Episode IV, and why they would give Luke, a backwoods hick with no combat training, a billion dollar fighter and send him out to fight in a life-or-death battle. The Rebels learn that they must fight, and when they fight, they can hold their own, so that was satisfying.
The strongest character, in my opinion, was the droid. He was effectively the comic relief, but not liek R2 and 3PO. I think he was more like Chewbacca. He might have been the biggest bad ass of them all, but he was fine being the co-pilot. His humor came from his hyper-competence, unlike 3PO who was funny because he was a whiny dipshit. While in the originals, Chewie kind of acted as the emotional core for Han, who didn't display any, the droid does that for Cassian, although Cassian is no where near as compelling as Han. I don't know if it impressive, or pathetic that the most emotionally relatible character is a faceless robot, but it works in the grand scheme of things, so kudos.
So I think that's all I have for now. Overall, I'd give it a 7 out of 10. Well below the original trilogy, but comfortably above the prequels. Worth a watch in my opinion. In fact, I'll probably see it again, but only because it's Star Wars, and I would like to see further how the film works in the world and mythology already established, and perhaps I can better ignore the shit that bugged me.
/tl;dr
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Post by egadsto on Jan 4, 2017 6:30:12 GMT -6
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Jan 4, 2017 8:20:13 GMT -6
I was gonna see a Star Wars "story" again, but I have ann inner ear infection, and I thought the action scenes wood make me dizzy.
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Post by Stan's Field on Jan 4, 2017 8:42:49 GMT -6
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Post by Stan's Field on Jan 4, 2017 9:08:39 GMT -6
This movie was easily ten times better than episode 7.
Like, WTF.
I watched 7 again a few weeks ago, had to turn it off, just blows.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Jan 4, 2017 10:21:50 GMT -6
This movie was easily ten times better than episode 7. Like, WTF. I watched 7 again a few weeks ago, had to turn it off, just blows. Whoa
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Post by Stan's Field on Jan 4, 2017 20:13:29 GMT -6
So in my epic bitchfest before, I said I would discuss the good parts of this movie. I also said Without Star Wars, this is just a slightly above average, but ultimately forgettable action movie. Paradoxically, it's foothold on classic Star Wars is at once the best thing about it, but also continually harmful to the immersion of the film. So let me explain that a little bit further. Welcome to the morally ambiguous Star Wars universe. Although past movies have had slight anti-heroes, and went and ret-conned them out (Han murdering Greedo), this movie really dials that up. Jyn is a criminal who is busted out of prison and that the robot is afraid of. Forest Whitaker is a terrorist who basically looks like Darth Vader. Latin Heart-throb (whom I learned from a video is named Cassian Andor) is some kind of CIA wet work specialist for the rebels. Galen is an imperial collaborator trying to take it down from the inside. Whereas in New Hope, Luke is an awe-shucks farm boy who is for some reason given a billion dollar fighter and put in a vital combat mission for reasons untold, in this story, our heroes are all broken people, who we see face the evil of the Empire, and decide to stand up against it when given a chance to redeem themselves. While the story doesn't hit on all of its notes, it is kind of like a Dirty Dozen in space, so that's kind of fun. Now, I know I bitched on the villains in my earlier rant, but liek I said, being part of teh Star Wars universe is a blessing and a curse. Part of the blessing though, is that because we have seen Tarkin and Vader in action in the past, we know they're evil, so their jumbled motivations are tolerable because we've seen them blow up fucking planets like it ain't nothing. While both Tarkin and Vader look horrible, they work well because we've seen them before. Tarkin, especially is good, bince he's not only a world destroying asshole, but also a credit-stealing middle manager who is fucking over dudes on his way up the corporate ladder. Personally, I thought that sexually attractivee him a better villain to relate with. I'd also like to discuss the "Gritty war movie" aesthetic we were told we were seeing. Often enough, surprisingly, it works. Remember the battle of Hoth, where the Rebels were fighting a desperate battle, but there were these unstopable walking monsters beating the shit out of them. Yeah, that was awesome in the 80's, but you'd think the only effect an AT-AT walker would have now would be nostalgia. However, in our climactic desperate battle, our heroes encounter walkers, and they actually work as fearsome instruments of terror. I was not expecting that. In fact, the last act of this movie works really well. I didn't think the space battle was really necessary in the grand scheme of things, and was mostly filler, but they did do a few things to make it work really well. For one, they flooded them bitches with TIE fighters, to show what terrible odds the Rebels faced. The Rebels also had to resort to clever and unusual tactics to win when faced with unstoppable firepower...looking at you ramming two star destroyers into one another. However, the ground battle is where I think the good shit really is. The plan is for our main heroes to break into an imperial facility to steal the Death Star schematics to find the weak spot, while the rest of them create a diversionary assault. At the same time, Krenick realizes that the Rebels are probably looking for the plan, and he heads there too, except he doesn't warn them because it's his fault the weakness to the station got leaked he's trying to cover his fuckup so Tarkin doesn't tattle on him to the Emporor (like I said, Tarkin is an effective middle-management asshole in this movie). Meanwhile, on the ground, the rebel army starts explosions all over the place, and has hit and run attacks, so the Imperials have no idea what is going on. They think it's a large scale attack because they're doing some clever counter-intelligence. Things get a little corny when each individual hero pretty much has one final vital part of the plan to pull off, which they sacrifice their lives to do, but it works. Not because we like the characters, so much, but because we know the Death Star is bad ass, so we know the overall stakes...like I said, Star Wars hurts, and Star Wars helps. I think the biggest growth arc in the film is the Rebel Alliance itself. When we first meet it, it's fractured, pretty ineffective, and kind of annoying. Jimmy Smits and a bunch of non-CGI muppets spend liek 10 minutes arguing about if they should surrender or not. However, their Pyrrhic victory at the end seems to embolden them, which explains why they seemed focused in Episode IV, and why they would give Luke, a backwoods hick with no combat training, a billion dollar fighter and send him out to fight in a life-or-death battle. The Rebels learn that they must fight, and when they fight, they can hold their own, so that was satisfying. The strongest character, in my opinion, was the droid. He was effectively the comic relief, but not liek R2 and 3PO. I think he was more like Chewbacca. He might have been the biggest bad ass of them all, but he was fine being the co-pilot. His humor came from his hyper-competence, unlike 3PO who was funny because he was a whiny dipshit. While in the originals, Chewie kind of acted as the emotional core for Han, who didn't display any, the droid does that for Cassian, although Cassian is no where near as compelling as Han. I don't know if it impressive, or pathetic that the most emotionally relatible character is a faceless robot, but it works in the grand scheme of things, so kudos. So I think that's all I have for now. Overall, I'd give it a 7 out of 10. Well below the original trilogy, but comfortably above the prequels. Worth a watch in my opinion. In fact, I'll probably see it again, but only because it's Star Wars, and I would like to see further how the film works in the world and mythology already established, and perhaps I can better ignore the shit that bugged me. /tl;dr Reminds me of the little-known spin-off Star Warz movie shot back in early nineties, featuring a plot revolving around Superlord Revan Icehide and his campfire guest Billah Brodickian. They remade the thing a few years ago and it just pisses me off. Anyhow, the basic story was two Dark Jedis run into each other hunting Rancors on Felucia. Billah stumbles onto Ice's camp site where Aayla Secura just got done blowing him and Ice is all "hay, wtf, imma force choke you fagt!"... Billah cries and whines and asks why he mad tho, and claims he can grill up the best Bantha steaks this side of Tattoine. Ice is liek "let me finish Aayla off and you can cook us all supper then, but don't try to sell us any print music or I'll force lightning your limey ass." Long story short, Billah grills these fucking reggity, jack links lookin pieces of meat up over some Kaiburr crystals and the camera captures them in all their flipped about 30 times glory. Everyone knew the steaks were shitty, i mean fuck, but most people over the years kinda went easy on Billah by chocking it up to the camera technology at the time of shooting the film. Till the fucking remake comes out and they CGI some fucking Ruth's Crist advertisement prime rib into the scene...................... Needless to say Ice force choked Billah out but good when he found out that it Billah couldn't even get grill marks. The fucking "digital effects" blew open the whole plot and left a 50 parsec wide crater where a once decent movie used to stand...........
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Post by Presidential Immunity Cock on Jan 4, 2017 20:29:35 GMT -6
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Post by Presidential Immunity Cock on Jan 4, 2017 20:30:41 GMT -6
Best star wars I've seen so far. Better than the phantom menace which was the best prior star wars. May the force be with you princess Leia.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Jan 12, 2017 11:06:59 GMT -6
Ummmmm, did you know Donald Glover was cast as Lando in the Han Solo stand alone movie? My boner is ready for that.
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Post by Incogayno. on Jan 12, 2017 20:19:32 GMT -6
Ummmmm, did you know Donald Glover was cast as Lando in the Han Solo stand alone movie? My boner is ready for that. Donald glover is a national treasure.
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Post by egadsto on Jan 12, 2017 22:36:59 GMT -6
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Jan 12, 2017 22:43:11 GMT -6
Ummmmm, did you know Donald Glover was cast as Lando in the Han Solo stand alone movie? My boner is ready for that. Donald glover is a national treasure. Agreed. Equawayr superior to Billy Dee in every way.
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Post by egadsto on Jan 12, 2017 22:59:11 GMT -6
Donald glover is a national treasure. Agreed. Equawayr superior to Billy Dee in every way.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Jan 13, 2017 8:53:14 GMT -6
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Apr 17, 2017 8:11:42 GMT -6
I watched Rouge One again this weekend, while slightly drunj, and it was a little better.
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Post by Presidential Immunity Cock on Apr 18, 2017 11:49:28 GMT -6
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Post by thunderhawk on Apr 18, 2017 12:16:05 GMT -6
Every character in every prequel deserved to die. Except Obi Wan. And Chewbacca, and Yoda. But everyone else. The last 5 minutes of Rogue One was astronomically superior to every single second of the fucking piece of shit prequels. NOOOOOOOO!!!!FUCK YOU LUCAS
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Apr 18, 2017 14:34:58 GMT -6
The last 5 minutes of Rogue One was astronomically superior to every single second of the fucking piece of shit prequels. The events of Episode 4 takes place over, at most 3 days (depending on how long the Jawas held the droids before they sell them). Bince Episdoe 4 takes place literally after the end of Rogue One, why does Vader go from this: To the next day being this:
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