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Post by Incogayno. on Apr 15, 2018 11:11:07 GMT -6
Saw this great post on reddit. Figured the lawyer douchebags might like it. www.reddit.com/r/CFB/comments/8cfdpt/reworking_the_divisions_of_the_big_ten_lawyers/?st=JG12E1XW&sh=514a885eu/CountryTimeLemonlade The temporary move away from East/West was exciting, but ultimately failed for one reason: no one can remember the difference between “Legends” and “Leaders.” Alexander the Great, Spartacus, General McArthur, Mike Riley? All legends. All leaders. Too confusing! Today I propose to reconfigure the Big Ten to reflect more exciting and memorable division names. I start from these two lines of reasoning: 1) To not be confusing, the divisions must be mutually exclusive. 2) All of humanity can be divided into two groups with no overlap: human beings capable of feeling love, and lawyers. Accordingly, I give you the Big Ten reborn. The Big Ten: Lawyers and Lovers. Based on how good the schools are at creating unloving liability-bots, here are your new divisions: LAWYERS: Michigan Law Rank: 8 Northwestern Law Rank: 11 Minnesota Law Rank: 20 Wisconsin Law Rank: 27(tie) Iowa Law Rank: 27(tie) Indiana Law Rank: 32(tied) Ohio State Law Rank: 32(tied) LOVERS: Illinois Law Rank: 37 Maryland Law Rank: 49 Rutgers Law Rank: 74(tied) Penn State Law Rank: 74(tied) Nebraska Law Rank: 80 Michigan State Law Rank: 88 Purdue Law Rank: Unranked/online only school Existing Rivalries: But what about existing rivalries? Tough cookies. As with so many lawyers ripping apart formerly loving marriages, division realignment has ripped apart your now-toxic squabbling. Enjoy playing each other occasionally in cross-division play, now known as the Alimony Bowls. Parity/Recruiting: This plan will work wonders for parity in the two divisions. Attending university’s branded as “Lovers” will undoubtedly attract better and better recruits, who are all horn-ball high schoolers. This is help improve conference play generally, salvaging those programs with the most difficulty competing: Illinois, Maryland, Rutgers, Purdue, and Nebraska. But won’t Lawyers division recruiting suffer? No. I anticipate they will use their superior legal trickery into binding recruits to commitments they did not even know they were signing. Expansion: Perhaps the best part of this new scheme is the strong message it sends on expansion. Maryland borders Virginia, a state that contains not only a fabulous law school (UVA), but also is for lovers! Where will they go if they ask to join the conference?? Perhaps low ranked Lawyers division teams will seek the admission of higher ranked law school university’s so that they can move into the Lovers league. No one knows! That expansion drama is part of building an enjoyable and sustainable entertainment product. |
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Post by BrainFerentz4Prez on Jul 26, 2021 9:36:56 GMT -6
The Big Ten would be stupid for not reaching out to Texas Tech, TCU and OK State and KU to try and them into the conference right now.
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Post by Logan Roy’s Bastard Son on Jul 26, 2021 13:10:27 GMT -6
The Big Ten would be stupid for not reaching out to Texas Tech, TCU and OK State and KU to try and them into the conference right now. To say the college football landscape is changing majorly is a yuge understatement. Sit back and grab the popcorn. |
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Post by BrainFerentz4Prez on Jul 26, 2021 15:30:45 GMT -6
The Big Ten would be stupid for not reaching out to Texas Tech, TCU and OK State and KU to try and them into the conference right now. To say the college football landscape is changing majorly is a yuge understatement. Sit back and grab the popcorn. Id be open to a pac 12 big 10 super conference with 3 or 4 divisions. |
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Post by thunderhawk on Jul 26, 2021 16:28:25 GMT -6
I have zero faith in the B1G commissioner. Not only because he’s black, but because he’s indecisive too.
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Post by NOTTHOR on Jul 26, 2021 17:09:15 GMT -6
To say the college football landscape is changing majorly is a yuge understatement. Sit back and grab the popcorn. Id be open to a pac 12 big 10 super conference with 3 or 4 divisions. We don't need that. Iowa hasn't won a regular season game west of Lincoln bince probably the Reagan Admin. Maybe even Carter. The Pac 10 is a tire fire because the west coast liberal elites don't watch college football because they are America loathing communists. The media rights are worth fuckall and a super conference with them would cost Iowa a lot of money. If I was running the B1G and knew I (a) needed to return fire on the opening salvo sent by the SEC and (b) needed to land a fucking haymaker, the only fucking choice is USC and UCLA. If you have the LA, DC, NYC, and Chicago markets all "in market" you will have secured all the crown jewel cities in America. This is a different deal than when Jim Delany was cutting a deal a few years ago. With choice in cable, you better have a god damned marquee content package that can gather up subscribers and none of the trash leftovers in the Big 12 are gonna do that. You also have to gameplan for the future. USC and UCLA are two deep pocketed schools with some big swinging dick alums that will spend whatever is necessary to buy players going forward and LA is going to provide substantial ancillary opportunities in the NIL regime. That regime would leave the B1G with probably 4, maybe 5 pretty top notch football programs in OSU, PSU, USC, Michigan and perhaps UCLA. Plus a solid middle. Any program that we can reasonably expect to get outside of USC and UCLA will be a fucking massive fail. |
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Post by BrainFerentz4Prez on Jul 26, 2021 18:02:59 GMT -6
Id be open to a pac 12 big 10 super conference with 3 or 4 divisions. We don't need that. Iowa hasn't won a regular season game west of Lincoln bince probably the Reagan Admin. Maybe even Carter. The Pac 10 is a tire fire because the west coast liberal elites don't watch college football because they are America loathing communists. The media rights are worth fuckall and a super conference with them would cost Iowa a lot of money. If I was running the B1G and knew I (a) needed to return fire on the opening salvo sent by the SEC and (b) needed to land a fucking haymaker, the only fucking choice is USC and UCLA. If you have the LA, DC, NYC, and Chicago markets all "in market" you will have secured all the crown jewel cities in America. This is a different deal than when Jim Delany was cutting a deal a few years ago. With choice in cable, you better have a god damned marquee content package that can gather up subscribers and none of the trash leftovers in the Big 12 are gonna do that. You also have to gameplan for the future. USC and UCLA are two deep pocketed schools with some big swinging dick alums that will spend whatever is necessary to buy players going forward and LA is going to provide substantial ancillary opportunities in the NIL regime. That regime would leave the B1G with probably 4, maybe 5 pretty top notch football programs in OSU, PSU, USC, Michigan and perhaps UCLA. Plus a solid middle. Any program that we can reasonably expect to get outside of USC and UCLA will be a fucking massive fail. Id rather have the cream of the crop PAC12 schools USC, UCLA, UW, Oregon, AZ and ASU plus TT and OKSt8 then some fuck ass combo of KU and ISU plus puss. Not only does that give us the TV markets in TX AZ and CA it also gives us a big footprint in all 3 timezones which is big for TV dollars and something the SEC ain't got. Plus Iowa skull fucked USC in the Holiday Bowel just a few years back. |
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Post by Other on Jul 26, 2021 18:34:17 GMT -6
Just grab Kansas, poach Colorado and call it a day as you do the backstroke is ISU tears.
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Post by twinlaker on Jul 26, 2021 20:00:09 GMT -6
We don't need that. Iowa hasn't won a regular season game west of Lincoln bince probably the Reagan Admin. Maybe even Carter. The Pac 10 is a tire fire because the west coast liberal elites don't watch college football because they are America loathing communists. The media rights are worth fuckall and a super conference with them would cost Iowa a lot of money. If I was running the B1G and knew I (a) needed to return fire on the opening salvo sent by the SEC and (b) needed to land a fucking haymaker, the only fucking choice is USC and UCLA. If you have the LA, DC, NYC, and Chicago markets all "in market" you will have secured all the crown jewel cities in America. This is a different deal than when Jim Delany was cutting a deal a few years ago. With choice in cable, you better have a god damned marquee content package that can gather up subscribers and none of the trash leftovers in the Big 12 are gonna do that. You also have to gameplan for the future. USC and UCLA are two deep pocketed schools with some big swinging dick alums that will spend whatever is necessary to buy players going forward and LA is going to provide substantial ancillary opportunities in the NIL regime. That regime would leave the B1G with probably 4, maybe 5 pretty top notch football programs in OSU, PSU, USC, Michigan and perhaps UCLA. Plus a solid middle. Any program that we can reasonably expect to get outside of USC and UCLA will be a fucking massive fail. Id rather have the cream of the crop PAC12 schools USC, UCLA, UW, Oregon, AZ and ASU plus TT and OKSt8 then some fuck ass combo of KU and ISU plus puss. Not only does that give us the TV markets in TX AZ and CA it also gives us a big footprint in all 3 timezones which is big for TV dollars and something the SEC ain't got. Plus Iowa skull fucked USC in the Holiday Bowel just a few years back. No Stanford? |
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Jul 27, 2021 9:50:23 GMT -6
We don't need that. Iowa hasn't won a regular season game west of Lincoln bince probably the Reagan Admin. Maybe even Carter. The Pac 10 is a tire fire because the west coast liberal elites don't watch college football because they are America loathing communists. The media rights are worth fuckall and a super conference with them would cost Iowa a lot of money. If I was running the B1G and knew I (a) needed to return fire on the opening salvo sent by the SEC and (b) needed to land a fucking haymaker, the only fucking choice is USC and UCLA. If you have the LA, DC, NYC, and Chicago markets all "in market" you will have secured all the crown jewel cities in America. This is a different deal than when Jim Delany was cutting a deal a few years ago. With choice in cable, you better have a god damned marquee content package that can gather up subscribers and none of the trash leftovers in the Big 12 are gonna do that. You also have to gameplan for the future. USC and UCLA are two deep pocketed schools with some big swinging dick alums that will spend whatever is necessary to buy players going forward and LA is going to provide substantial ancillary opportunities in the NIL regime. That regime would leave the B1G with probably 4, maybe 5 pretty top notch football programs in OSU, PSU, USC, Michigan and perhaps UCLA. Plus a solid middle. Any program that we can reasonably expect to get outside of USC and UCLA will be a fucking massive fail. Id rather have the cream of the crop PAC12 schools USC, UCLA, UW, Oregon, AZ and ASU plus TT and OKSt8 then some fuck ass combo of KU and ISU plus puss. Not only does that give us the TV markets in TX AZ and CA it also gives us a big footprint in all 3 timezones which is big for TV dollars and something the SEC ain't got. Plus Iowa skull fucked USC in the Holiday Bowel just a few years back. Going 4-8 every year is going to be awesome. We'll have the coolest fucking locker rooms though. |
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Post by socal on Jul 27, 2021 10:46:33 GMT -6
We'll have the coolest fucking locker rooms though. Another thing that hasn't aged well... |
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Post by NOTTHOR on Jul 27, 2021 12:35:40 GMT -6
We don't need that. Iowa hasn't won a regular season game west of Lincoln bince probably the Reagan Admin. Maybe even Carter. The Pac 10 is a tire fire because the west coast liberal elites don't watch college football because they are America loathing communists. The media rights are worth fuckall and a super conference with them would cost Iowa a lot of money. If I was running the B1G and knew I (a) needed to return fire on the opening salvo sent by the SEC and (b) needed to land a fucking haymaker, the only fucking choice is USC and UCLA. If you have the LA, DC, NYC, and Chicago markets all "in market" you will have secured all the crown jewel cities in America. This is a different deal than when Jim Delany was cutting a deal a few years ago. With choice in cable, you better have a god damned marquee content package that can gather up subscribers and none of the trash leftovers in the Big 12 are gonna do that. You also have to gameplan for the future. USC and UCLA are two deep pocketed schools with some big swinging dick alums that will spend whatever is necessary to buy players going forward and LA is going to provide substantial ancillary opportunities in the NIL regime. That regime would leave the B1G with probably 4, maybe 5 pretty top notch football programs in OSU, PSU, USC, Michigan and perhaps UCLA. Plus a solid middle. Any program that we can reasonably expect to get outside of USC and UCLA will be a fucking massive fail. Id rather have the cream of the crop PAC12 schools USC, UCLA, UW, Oregon, AZ and ASU plus TT and OKSt8 then some fuck ass combo of KU and ISU plus puss. Not only does that give us the TV markets in TX AZ and CA it also gives us a big footprint in all 3 timezones which is big for TV dollars and something the SEC ain't got. Plus Iowa skull fucked USC in the Holiday Bowel just a few years back. I think the idea of raiding the top 6 or 7 revenue generators from the Pac 10 could be a viable path forward. I thought it was farcical when you posted this, but now I see a model where that could work. |
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Post by BrainFerentz4Prez on Jul 27, 2021 14:07:28 GMT -6
Id rather have the cream of the crop PAC12 schools USC, UCLA, UW, Oregon, AZ and ASU plus TT and OKSt8 then some fuck ass combo of KU and ISU plus puss. Not only does that give us the TV markets in TX AZ and CA it also gives us a big footprint in all 3 timezones which is big for TV dollars and something the SEC ain't got. Plus Iowa skull fucked USC in the Holiday Bowel just a few years back. I think the idea of raiding the top 6 or 7 revenue generators from the Pac 10 could be a viable path forward. I thought it was farcical when you posted this, but now I see a model where that could work. With playoff expansion to 8 teams a certainty, a 20 team conference with 4 five team divisions should work. One non conference game per team, 4 games versus everyone in your pod,two crossover games in the other pods, then a week where pod champions play (along with a consolation bracket like they did this year) and a final conference title game sure sounds awesome. The non power five are totally fucking boned. With a huge disadvantage in name and likeness coupled with the playoff expansion making an early loss survivable this eliminating huge guraunteed $$$ road games. |
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Post by NOTTHOR on Jul 27, 2021 16:14:46 GMT -6
I think the idea of raiding the top 6 or 7 revenue generators from the Pac 10 could be a viable path forward. I thought it was farcical when you posted this, but now I see a model where that could work. With playoff expansion to 8 teams a certainty, a 20 team conference with 4 five team divisions should work. One non conference game per team, 4 games versus everyone in your pod,two crossover games in the other pods, then a week where pod champions play (along with a consolation bracket like they did this year) and a final conference title game sure sounds awesome. The non power five are totally fucking boned. With a huge disadvantage in name and likeness coupled with the playoff expansion making an early loss survivable this eliminating huge guraunteed $$$ road games. Most of the non P5 are boned. I could see Houston, UCF and maybe Boise actually becoming massive fucking powers. With a 12 team playoff and a guaranteed spot for one G5 team, a program like UCF or Houston could get really damned good if they grease the right players through NIL and rise to the top of the scrap heap and win a game or two in the playoffs. "Why go to UT, come to Houston, we'll pay you more and we are only 3 guys away from a title, but Texas can't even finish top 3 in their own conference." |
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Post by socal on Jul 28, 2021 5:43:23 GMT -6
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Other
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Post by Other on Jul 28, 2021 10:15:50 GMT -6
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Post by Presidential Immunity Cock on Jul 28, 2021 10:17:09 GMT -6
Show me a party with Billy, Scooter and Duff. |
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Post by Ginger on Jul 29, 2021 10:16:09 GMT -6
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