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Post by Gumbyhawk on Mar 18, 2008 12:41:25 GMT -6
I never seem to have to toot until I am home. I usually walk into another room, let it rip, then blame it on the dog (even though the wife knows it was me). But this got me to thinking... at what point in a relationship is it acceptable to bust some ass? And why is it that women refuse to let a few slip now and then? I mean... I'm not saying that I would enjoy it or anything, but c'mon... don't just sit there and feel uncomfortable! What says the board?
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Post by The Bluzmn on Mar 18, 2008 12:43:26 GMT -6
A man's home is his castle and castle rights include the occasional issuance of methane. That is, of course, if the wife let's him.
Me, I fart away and then say "oops" like it was an accident or something. I do refrain from farting in bed, though. That's just rude.
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Post by NOTTHOR on Mar 18, 2008 12:44:39 GMT -6
A man's home is his castle and castle rights include the occasional issuance of methane. That is, of course, if the wife let's him. Me, I fart away and then say "oops" like it was an accident or something. I do refrain from farting in bed, though. That's just rude. Yeah, it's rude if ma's head ain't under the covers to take it all in, dutch oven style.
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Mar 18, 2008 12:46:23 GMT -6
I fart in bed all the time.
For one, the wife works nights (except the weekends) so I usually have the bed to myself... except for said dog who sleeps on the bed.
The dog doesn't seem to mind much.
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Post by idrinkthereforeiam on Mar 18, 2008 12:46:39 GMT -6
I've tried unsuccessfully to pull off the Dutch Oven on numerous occasions.
My wife is not a fan of the "boofs", as her family calls them. I love them.
I planted one on co-worker today. I was working on PC on the shop floor, drop one and then asked the tech a question. Poor guy.
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Mar 18, 2008 12:49:21 GMT -6
Spank reminded me of the "crop duster" where you walk by a row of cubicles and let fly.
Rude? Or NOT rude?
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Post by idrinkthereforeiam on Mar 18, 2008 12:52:54 GMT -6
Spank reminded me of the "crop duster" where you walk by a row of cubicles and let fly. Rude? Or NOT rude? Genius.
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Post by socal on Mar 18, 2008 12:54:39 GMT -6
I've never been one to hold back - even when we were dating.
The best are when she does the first initial gags / vomiting reflexes and is doing something in the room where she can't immediately run away...
Priceless.
Of course, due to my openness - she does occasionally pay me back.
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Post by NotMyKid on Mar 18, 2008 13:00:50 GMT -6
I've tried unsuccessfully to pull off the Dutch Oven on numerous occasions. My wife is not a fan of the "boofs", as her family calls them. I love them. I planted one on co-worker today. I was working on PC on the shop floor, drop one and then asked the tech a question. Poor guy. Wait, I'm confused. You gave one of your co-workers a dutch oven today?? Does your wife know that you sleep with one of your male co-workers? ;D Back on topic, I usually throw the "oops" or "excuse me" like it slipped out. She gets pissed but sometimes she finds it funny. So I am still trying to get the read on when she is going to find it funny and when she is going to get pissed.
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Mar 18, 2008 13:07:13 GMT -6
Yeah, my wife never finds it funny.
Maybe it's because it is pretty obvious that such a tear-ass fart could never come from such a little dog??
If my wife had my sense of humor, she would pay me pack by shitting in the cat box before I clean it. Alas... I am glad that she does not have that sense of humor. ;D
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Earl
Prostate Massager
Posts: 173
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Post by Earl on Mar 18, 2008 13:37:00 GMT -6
Spank reminded me of the "crop duster" where you walk by a row of cubicles and let fly. Rude? Or NOT rude? I'm not afraid to crop-dust.....leave a nice vapor trail behind me down the hall. I sometimes feel sorry for the kid that tries to sneak one out; only it doesn't come out as silent as they anticipate, or the room goes exceptionally silent at the exact time of eruption. I mean 12 year old boys are awkward enough without sharting in front of everyone..... It's also really hard not to laugh at them as they try to pawn it off on somebody else.
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Post by lpcalihawk on Mar 18, 2008 14:25:39 GMT -6
My wife and I have an open farting relationship. I also take dumps with the bathroom door open. We are not a modest family.
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Mar 18, 2008 14:28:16 GMT -6
My wife and I have an open farting relationship. I also take dumps with the bathroom door open. We are not a modest family. WOW!! Your wife sounds pretty cool! I don't dump with the door open though. Moreso because the damned dog would barge in and fukk with the toilet paper or lick my shins or something. I need to be able to concentrate!
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Post by NOTTHOR on Mar 18, 2008 14:29:47 GMT -6
You mean when you aren't crapping your pants, right LP?
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Post by lpcalihawk on Mar 18, 2008 14:33:38 GMT -6
You mean when you aren't crapping your pants, right LP? Correct, when I make it to the potty I normally leave the door open.
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Post by hawkinlimbo on Mar 18, 2008 14:40:04 GMT -6
I blame the dog at every possible opportunity. (20 pound Jack Russell Terrier)
Sadly, sometimes it is the dog. I think we need to find him new food.
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Post by The Bluzmn on Mar 18, 2008 15:33:48 GMT -6
We have a lot of pets and I have tried (unsuccesfully) to blame it on all of them at one time or another.
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Post by 101 on Mar 18, 2008 16:21:56 GMT -6
Oh hell, just let it rip when you need to. If you can get it on with her, why in the hell would you worry about farting in front on her? Perspective man.
My Mrs. lets 'em rip whenever she wants also. No big deal.
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Post by NOTTHOR on Mar 18, 2008 16:27:21 GMT -6
101's wife ripped ass at the bar after the Iowa Northwestern game. I didn't say anything at the time, but it was pretty bad.
I rip them a lot in front of Ma. She is not a fan. The ones she hates worst are the really long, 20 second machine gun style farts and the one bubblers. The one bubblers always smell really, really bad.
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Post by Mr Olympia on Mar 18, 2008 16:34:43 GMT -6
new best thread ever
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Mar 18, 2008 16:40:22 GMT -6
I usually let em rip. It usually follows with a punch in the arm, but it's a playful punch... not a "where the hell were you last night" punch.
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Post by 101 on Mar 18, 2008 16:51:27 GMT -6
101's wife ripped ass at the bar after the Iowa Northwestern game. I didn't say anything at the time, but it was pretty bad. I rip them a lot in front of Ma. She is not a fan. The ones she hates worst are the really long, 20 second machine gun style farts and the one bubblers. The one bubblers always smell really, really bad. Actually, she didn't. It was probably Racer or Seth that you were smelling. I'm immune to her farts at this point anyway.
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Post by Dr. Doofenshmirtz (Heywood) on Mar 18, 2008 17:38:11 GMT -6
new best thread ever YES!!!!!!!
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Post by idrinkthereforeiam on Mar 18, 2008 21:41:29 GMT -6
My wife has farted in front of me once. Her roommate and I sat on her one day back in college and tickled her until she accidently let one out. That's the only fart she has let out in front of me. Odd, I know.
My dog has nasty ass farts.
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Post by Dr. Doofenshmirtz (Heywood) on Mar 19, 2008 5:54:59 GMT -6
My wife and I have an open-fart relationship. If no one else is around we let 'em rip.
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