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Post by Master Blaster on Aug 24, 2018 11:00:51 GMT -6
Alright you group of vermin, its time to come on the wasteland and make the annual predictions. Why? Because I fucking can. I know you've missed me. I know you want to be me. Now sit back and let me tell you what's going to happen this year.
Sat, Sept 1 vs N Illinois 3:30 PM ET BTN Iowa starts sluggish, gets down, but winds up taking over in the fourth quarter. Iowa Wins 27-20. We all wonder how we will survive this season if we are going to play like this. 3 suspensions don't help at all in the effort. Sat, Sept 8 vs Iowa State 5:00 PM ET FOX Iowa pulls away from ISUx again in the fourth for the win. This won't be last years nail biter. Iowa is up for the game, ISU is without superstar receiver Lazard, an 8 year starter for the clones. This will be a nail biter for 3 quarters. Iowa better come ready to play because the clones are going to be better than expected. Our defensive front four is the key to victory, keeping pressure on the QB and negating a good passing attack. Don't go to sleep on the clones this year. Iowa 38, ISU 28. Sat, Sept 15 vs Northern Iowa 7:30 PM ET BTN We need a game like this. UNI gets blown out. We all feel better, because next week is the test. Iowa 45, UNI 21. Sat, Sept 22 vs #4 Wisconsin TBD This becomes a night game. Please, make it a night game. We need Kinnick rocking, we need that Kinnick mojo where top level teams come to get hopes dashed. Wisky gets upset on a national stage. We enter rankings for the first time at #20. Iowa surprises this year. Iowa 24- Wisky 21. We all drink heavily and hope this is the year. Sat, Oct 6 @ Minnesota TBD Good opportunity for a let down game, and we don't disappoint. Iowa loses in a 24 to 17 weak ass effort. This is why we get mad about KF year in and year out. Dammit. Sat, Oct 13 @ Indiana 12:00 PM ET Iowa wins on the bounce back. Indiana defense is porous, Iowa's is good enough to win. Iowa 38, Indy 24. Sat, Oct 2 vs Maryland 12:00 PM ET Iowa wins handily. 37-21. Sat, Oct 27 @ #10 Penn State TBD This is not Paterno's PSU, our tradition of winning against them is a distant memory. PSU is every bit as good as expected and will go on to be the B1G champion. Iowa gets it's second loss here 24-18. Too many FG's and not enough TD's against a tough PSU defense. Drink up boys. Sat, Nov 3 @ Purdue TBD This is the hardest one in my eyes to call. After losing last week and potentially losing any chance at the B1G championship game, can we continue to play like we care or do we go through the motions? I think Purduex wins this - 32-29. Dammit. Sat, Nov 10 vs Northwestern TBD Iowa wins against NW. We are looking for a decent bowl. See you in Orlando bitches. Iowa 31, NW 14. Sat, Nov 17 @ Illinois TBD Iowa wins a boring day in gay ass Illini territory. Lovi Smith punches an Iowa player to keep a simmering hatred going. I am thankful that Lovie is coaching them. Iowa 42, Ill. 21. Fri, Nov 23 vs Nebraska 12:00 PM ET FOX Scott Frost knows what this game is about. His team is going to be up. But Iowa still wins. Scott Frost is still 3 years away from making Nebby back into a threat. Don't sleep on them folks and enjoy the beating while it continues because Nebby is going to be back under his tenure. Iowa 44, Nebby 32.
So there you go. We go 9-3. Pretty decent year, but no B1G game and no BCS game. Come on down to Florida for another Capital One bowl. We are consistent under KF, but hey, it means I get to go to a bowl game in my back yard. I'm good with that. And you fuckers get out of Iowa, where it is -15 on NYD. You know you enjoy coming down here, so quit lying to everyone and yourselves. See you Jan 1.
Master Chief.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Aug 24, 2018 11:52:52 GMT -6
Holy crap, what an easy schedule. If KF wins fewer than 11 gaems, he shod be firet
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Post by Ginger on Aug 24, 2018 14:18:18 GMT -6
Nice prediction chief. Here’s mine. As usual. 12-0.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Aug 24, 2018 14:39:58 GMT -6
Nice prediction chief. Here’s mine. As usual. 12-0. You hack. At least give us a hawt teak
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Post by Presidential Immunity Cock on Aug 24, 2018 16:30:34 GMT -6
12-0 but will feel like 0-12 because we play like shit for 80% of every game and win on some fluke shit.
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Post by Stan's Field on Aug 25, 2018 5:27:11 GMT -6
LOW KNOBS
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Post by BrainFerentz4Prez on Aug 25, 2018 6:30:18 GMT -6
Nice prediction chief. Here’s mine. As usual. 12-0. You hack. At least give us a hawt teak Or maybea hawt dish.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Aug 25, 2018 17:27:12 GMT -6
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Post by Ginger on Aug 25, 2018 22:39:50 GMT -6
Nice prediction chief. Here’s mine. As usual. 12-0. You hack. At least give us a hawt teak Like this? Sept 1 First game. Night before: I'll be up late trying to find all my Hawkeye gear...at least something to wear to this game. Gold. Or...black. God dammit where are my Hawkeye earrings. At least it's not an 11am start so I don't have to get up after only 4 hours sleep. I spend 30 minutes trying to get my kids up to go and have to reexplain as usual why it's important for mommy to get there sooner than 45 minutes before kickoff. (DRINKING OF COURSE). I have to remind my son this is a family tradition and it's not necessary to go to the theater to watch the Marvel film fest that's going on this weekend. We have to take the dog to the vet for boarding. Finally on the way we hit McDonalds on the way out of town. I try to read everything Hawkeye related on Twitter all the way down except for those parts of Northern Iowa where we have no signal...then I nap. We make the usual the bathroom stop in Waterloo and get little bottles of Fireball and Kinky liquor to satisfy 3rd quarter slump. We find our new tailgating and parking spot without running over drunk kids on Melrose. I drink the MaiTai's Ron hands me and we pass a pint of fireball. My makeup starts to melt and my fat rolls get drippy, but I'm pretty drunk now so I don't care. We head to the stadium...more like stumble. Who has the fucking tickets? The game is motherfucking hot. The sun feels like it's burning though my shirt and my boobs are sweating. My hip hugger mom jeans keep sliding down showing my butt crack. The same people that never stand up during the game and bitch that I do are behind me...probably noticing my mom jeans. During the game, I make 3 trips up bathrooms from the first row at the bottom the stadium and when I get to the top, try to pretend that I really don't need to breathe hard. I miss two TD's; one a pick six. Despite that the game is close, but the Hawks win. It's a bitch to get out of our new parking space. I'm fucking exhausted. Thank god Dave is driving. We get home and pretty much fall into bed. Sunday, it's 3pm before I'm recovered enough to go anywhere.
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Post by BrainFerentz4Prez on Aug 26, 2018 2:58:34 GMT -6
You hack. At least give us a hawt teak Like this? Sept 1 First game. Night before: I'll be up late trying to find all my Hawkeye gear...at least something to wear to this game. Gold. Or...black. God dammit where are my Hawkeye earrings. At least it's not an 11am start so I don't have to get up after only 4 hours sleep. I spend 30 minutes trying to get my kids up to go and have to reexplain as usual why it's important for mommy to get there sooner than 45 minutes before kickoff. (DRINKING OF COURSE). I have to remind my son this is a family tradition and it's not necessary to go to the theater to watch the Marvel film fest that's going on this weekend. We have to take the dog to the vet for boarding. Finally on the way we hit McDonalds on the way out of town. I try to read everything Hawkeye related on Twitter all the way down except for those parts of Northern Iowa where we have no signal...then I nap. We make the usual the bathroom stop in Waterloo and get little bottles of Fireball and Kinky liquor to satisfy 3rd quarter slump. We find our new tailgating and parking spot without running over drunk kids on Melrose. I drink the MaiTai's Ron hands me and we pass a pint of fireball. My makeup starts to melt and my fat rolls get drippy, but I'm pretty drunk now so I don't care. We head to the stadium...more like stumble. Who has the fucking tickets? The game is motherfucking hot. The sun feels like it's burning though my shirt and my boobs are sweating. My hip hugger mom jeans keep sliding down showing my butt crack. The same people that never stand up during the game and bitch that I do are behind me...probably noticing my mom jeans. During the game, I make 3 trips up bathrooms from the first row at the bottom the stadium and when I get to the top, try to pretend that I really don't need to breathe hard. I miss two TD's; one a pick six. Despite that the game is close, but the Hawks win. It's a bitch to get out of our new parking space. I'm fucking exhausted. Thank god Dave is driving. We get home and pretty much fall into bed. Sunday, it's 3pm before I'm recovered enough to go anywhere. I am sofaking hard right now.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Aug 26, 2018 8:21:39 GMT -6
You should go tailgate with them Duff... if you can get off work.
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Post by socal on Aug 26, 2018 11:48:59 GMT -6
You hack. At least give us a hawt teak Like this? Sept 1 First game. Night before: I'll be up late trying to find all my Hawkeye gear...at least something to wear to this game. Gold. Or...black. God dammit where are my Hawkeye earrings. At least it's not an 11am start so I don't have to get up after only 4 hours sleep. I spend 30 minutes trying to get my kids up to go and have to reexplain as usual why it's important for mommy to get there sooner than 45 minutes before kickoff. (DRINKING OF COURSE). I have to remind my son this is a family tradition and it's not necessary to go to the theater to watch the Marvel film fest that's going on this weekend. We have to take the dog to the vet for boarding. Finally on the way we hit McDonalds on the way out of town. I try to read everything Hawkeye related on Twitter all the way down except for those parts of Northern Iowa where we have no signal...then I nap. We make the usual the bathroom stop in Waterloo and get little bottles of Fireball and Kinky liquor to satisfy 3rd quarter slump. We find our new tailgating and parking spot without running over drunk kids on Melrose. I drink the MaiTai's Ron hands me and we pass a pint of fireball. My makeup starts to melt and my fat rolls get drippy, but I'm pretty drunk now so I don't care. We head to the stadium...more like stumble. Who has the fucking tickets? The game is motherfucking hot. The sun feels like it's burning though my shirt and my boobs are sweating. My hip hugger mom jeans keep sliding down showing my butt crack. The same people that never stand up during the game and bitch that I do are behind me...probably noticing my mom jeans. During the game, I make 3 trips up bathrooms from the first row at the bottom the stadium and when I get to the top, try to pretend that I really don't need to breathe hard. I miss two TD's; one a pick six. Despite that the game is close, but the Hawks win. It's a bitch to get out of our new parking space. I'm fucking exhausted. Thank god Dave is driving. We get home and pretty much fall into bed. Sunday, it's 3pm before I'm recovered enough to go anywhere. Solution. Hawkeye bibbers & a tube top. Ventilation... Black AND Gold... xtra storage!!!
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Post by socal on Aug 26, 2018 12:07:43 GMT -6
I do not see how Iowa goes any less than 11-1. Would be 12-0, except Wisconsin is my only worry. PSU is overrated due to tOSU's over-raters hedging their bets... and they lost "knee was down" Barkley. ---4 out of 6 in B10E in the top 14, Really???
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Post by Master Blaster on Aug 27, 2018 16:18:27 GMT -6
You hack. At least give us a hawt teak Like this? Sept 1 First game. Night before: I'll be up late trying to find all my Hawkeye gear...at least something to wear to this game. Gold. Or...black. God dammit where are my Hawkeye earrings. At least it's not an 11am start so I don't have to get up after only 4 hours sleep. I spend 30 minutes trying to get my kids up to go and have to reexplain as usual why it's important for mommy to get there sooner than 45 minutes before kickoff. (DRINKING OF COURSE). I have to remind my son this is a family tradition and it's not necessary to go to the theater to watch the Marvel film fest that's going on this weekend. We have to take the dog to the vet for boarding. Finally on the way we hit McDonalds on the way out of town. I try to read everything Hawkeye related on Twitter all the way down except for those parts of Northern Iowa where we have no signal...then I nap. We make the usual the bathroom stop in Waterloo and get little bottles of Fireball and Kinky liquor to satisfy 3rd quarter slump. We find our new tailgating and parking spot without running over drunk kids on Melrose. I drink the MaiTai's Ron hands me and we pass a pint of fireball. My makeup starts to melt and my fat rolls get drippy, but I'm pretty drunk now so I don't care. We head to the stadium...more like stumble. Who has the fucking tickets? The game is motherfucking hot. The sun feels like it's burning though my shirt and my boobs are sweating. My hip hugger mom jeans keep sliding down showing my butt crack. The same people that never stand up during the game and bitch that I do are behind me...probably noticing my mom jeans. During the game, I make 3 trips up bathrooms from the first row at the bottom the stadium and when I get to the top, try to pretend that I really don't need to breathe hard. I miss two TD's; one a pick six. Despite that the game is close, but the Hawks win. It's a bitch to get out of our new parking space. I'm fucking exhausted. Thank god Dave is driving. We get home and pretty much fall into bed. Sunday, it's 3pm before I'm recovered enough to go anywhere. Thanks for the chuckle Ginger, made my day. No tailgating for us the first game at USF. Starts at 6 pm, game day will be 90 with 85% humidity during the day, rain and thunder and likely an hour delay or more start. So, stay at home in the AC and watch the Hawks play. Will be with you in spirit. Might take the boat out in the morning though and do some spearfishing before it gets to hot. Nothing like a good grouper sandwich.
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Post by Ginger on Sept 1, 2018 7:01:52 GMT -6
You hack. At least give us a hawt teak Like this? Sept 1 First game. Night before: I'll be up late trying to find all my Hawkeye gear...at least something to wear to this game. Gold. Or...black. God dammit where are my Hawkeye earrings. At least it's not an 11am start so I don't have to get up after only 4 hours sleep. I spend 30 minutes trying to get my kids up to go and have to reexplain as usual why it's important for mommy to get there sooner than 45 minutes before kickoff. (DRINKING OF COURSE). I have to remind my son this is a family tradition and it's not necessary to go to the theater to watch the Marvel film fest that's going on this weekend. We have to take the dog to the vet for boarding. Finally on the way we hit McDonalds on the way out of town. I try to read everything Hawkeye related on Twitter all the way down except for those parts of Northern Iowa where we have no signal...then I nap. We make the usual the bathroom stop in Waterloo and get little bottles of Fireball and Kinky liquor to satisfy 3rd quarter slump. We find our new tailgating and parking spot without running over drunk kids on Melrose. I drink the MaiTai's Ron hands me and we pass a pint of fireball. My makeup starts to melt and my fat rolls get drippy, but I'm pretty drunk now so I don't care. We head to the stadium...more like stumble. Who has the fucking tickets? The game is motherfucking hot. The sun feels like it's burning though my shirt and my boobs are sweating. My hip hugger mom jeans keep sliding down showing my butt crack. The same people that never stand up during the game and bitch that I do are behind me...probably noticing my mom jeans. During the game, I make 3 trips up bathrooms from the first row at the bottom the stadium and when I get to the top, try to pretend that I really don't need to breathe hard. I miss two TD's; one a pick six. Despite that the game is close, but the Hawks win. It's a bitch to get out of our new parking space. I'm fucking exhausted. Thank god Dave is driving. We get home and pretty much fall into bed. Sunday, it's 3pm before I'm recovered enough to go anywhere. So far, right on schedule....I can’t find my god damn Hawk earrings.
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Post by Ginger on Sept 1, 2018 7:40:48 GMT -6
Earrings found
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Post by BrainFerentz4Prez on Sept 1, 2018 7:53:23 GMT -6
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Post by Ginger on Sept 1, 2018 10:26:37 GMT -6
I know. Still late as fuck getting out of town and another hour to go driving
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Post by BrainFerentz4Prez on Sept 1, 2018 11:31:11 GMT -6
I know. Still late as fuck getting out of town and another hour to go driving Hope u brought a rain jacket. If not i hope you are wearing a white t shirt
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Post by The Resistance on Sept 1, 2018 11:44:15 GMT -6
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Post by Ginger on Sept 1, 2018 13:52:55 GMT -6
I know. Still late as fuck getting out of town and another hour to go driving Hope u brought a rain jacket. If not i hope you are wearing a white t shirt I have a poncho, a gold shirt with a black tank top
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Post by Presidential Immunity Cock on Sept 1, 2018 13:55:46 GMT -6
Hope u brought a rain jacket. If not i hope you are wearing a white t shirt I have a poncho, a gold shirt with a black tank top Don't forget to turn on your headlights for the kids. Hope you have an easy release bra.
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Post by BrainFerentz4Prez on Sept 1, 2018 16:05:30 GMT -6
I'll go on record and say dis. Teh current version of teh Iowa Hawkeyes have moar in common wif teh 2015 team than teh 2012 team.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Sept 1, 2018 20:22:35 GMT -6
I'll go on record and say dis. Teh current version of teh Iowa Hawkeyes have moar in common wif teh 2015 team than teh 2012 team. Nate Stanley is a mouth breather
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Post by BrainFerentz4Prez on Sept 8, 2018 6:52:50 GMT -6
I fink ISU plays well and keeps it clpse for the first 3-4 min but den iowa pulls away for a 72-3 win. Ima goin but not to teh game. Ginger you found dem earings yet?
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