Post by TBELL on Dec 24, 2008 22:05:28 GMT -6
I know some of you on here don't like the fuzz...understandable. However, I hold what I consider to be one of the most unique jobs around. My job can go from screaming boring to screaming mad in a matter of seconds.
I love my job when I know we got EMS personnel to Saylorville in time to save someone who is drowning. I do hate my job at times though. September, I had talk a brand new mother through CPR with her 6 month old. If you don't know, survival through CPR starts around 50% and goes down 7% for every minute. It was not a good outcome in this case as the child died. For the record, I am 0-7 in my CPR calls. Thankfully I don't get them often as I seem to have the death touch.
I have talked people through some of the darkest days of their lives...wives coming home to find their husband has shot himself, a 14 year old daughter came home from school to find her father dead on the floor. I can still hear the footsteps thudding on the concrete through the phone over the cries for help as she ran to the neighbors house. For some reason I remember the bad ones more-so than the good ones. What do you say to those people? I have been doing this for 4 years now, and I still have no idea.
I'm not trying to drag down the holidays for you guys, I just hope you all remember lives can change in the blink of an eye, hug those you love, hold them tight, tell them you love them, and laugh with them often.
Below is something I wrote while I was bored, hope you enjoy it, it's kinda funny. The "pet peeves" section would be what my end of the conversation would sound like, and yes, everyone of them is something that we have taken at Polk County, they are not made up.
The 9-1-1 Dispatcher
The below accounts are mostly real, and have been experienced by either me or my co-workers. Some have been slightly exaggerated for humor, but not by much. Enjoy!
First of all, things we are not:
The power company
The water company
Plumbers
Electricians
Mechanics
Your Attorney
Judges
Your Landlord
Your Babysitter
Your Bank
The Zoo
Pizza Hut
Fireworks Coordinators
Parade Coordinators
Beggars Night Coordinators
Miracle Workers
Your Child’s Parents
Some of our pet peeves:
“I don’t know why the Tornado siren in your city is going off sir…maybe the ginormous tornado outside your back window has something to do with it!”
“Ma’am, your telling me there was a huge ice storm last night? And your telling me that your CUL-DE-SAC is the only street in the city with ice on it correct, and you want the plows there now to take care of it right? Ok, we will wake them right up and get them out there!”
Flashing red and blue lights usually mean cops cars, fire trucks and ambulances. There really is no need to call and tell us about the bad car accident on the interstate when you see those there. They are there to help!!
I really don’t care that Jimbo Ricky Billy Bob beat up your cousin’s baby’s mama back in 1983 when you are calling to report loud music coming from next door.
“No sir, I’m sorry! I don’t know the number to Timbucktoo Kalamazoo Police Department in upstate Alaska! Try Google, it’s GREAT!!
NEWS FLASH!! Interstate 80 runs from America’s West Coast to the East Coast, when we ask for the location of your emergency, “I’m on I-80” probably isn’t the best answer!
“I’m sorry Ma’am but an officer will not stop traffic so the Duck and her Ducklings can cross the road safely!”
“Let me get this straight Sir, you picked up a dog along side the road in Kansas City, brought it home to Ankeny, and you expect US to track down the owner!”
PLEASE DO NOT GIVE YOUR CHILDREN YOUR OLD CELL PHONE WITH THE BATTERY STILL IN IT! IT WILL STILL CALL 9-1-1!! While we enjoy chatting with children, we don’t want to talk to your 5 year-old 37 times in one day! Thanks!!
“Fly your kite as high as you want Sir, the FAA won’t care!!”
“No Ma’am, you only called 3 minutes ago, not 30. Cops drive cars, they don’t fly helicopters!”
We appreciate your calls in emergencies, but on a major interstate you are NOT the only person calling about the accident! See the other 150 people in the cars around you, they are ALL calling too!! There are 5 people in this room, sorry we didn’t answer the phone on the 1st ring, but you do the math!!”
“Sir! Please do not get mad at me because YOU don’t know where YOU are!! YOU’RE there I am not!!
Guess what!! I pay taxes too!! So I pay my own salary!
“Sir, think about this one. I’m sure you are not locked INSIDE your car!”
“Ma’am…..MA’AM! Please calm down! Ma’am, try to take a deep breath! I can’t understand you when you are sobbing so hard. I know, I understand the dead furry squirrel in the street is very traumatic!”
“You mean that Geo Prizm you just described is doing over 120 mph on a residential street?? WOW!!”
“No sir, your neighbor is not a serial killer, the police were just at his house to answer some questions he had. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!”
If any of you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask, I think my job is one of the most misunderstood around, and I enjoy talking to people about it.
I love my job when I know we got EMS personnel to Saylorville in time to save someone who is drowning. I do hate my job at times though. September, I had talk a brand new mother through CPR with her 6 month old. If you don't know, survival through CPR starts around 50% and goes down 7% for every minute. It was not a good outcome in this case as the child died. For the record, I am 0-7 in my CPR calls. Thankfully I don't get them often as I seem to have the death touch.
I have talked people through some of the darkest days of their lives...wives coming home to find their husband has shot himself, a 14 year old daughter came home from school to find her father dead on the floor. I can still hear the footsteps thudding on the concrete through the phone over the cries for help as she ran to the neighbors house. For some reason I remember the bad ones more-so than the good ones. What do you say to those people? I have been doing this for 4 years now, and I still have no idea.
I'm not trying to drag down the holidays for you guys, I just hope you all remember lives can change in the blink of an eye, hug those you love, hold them tight, tell them you love them, and laugh with them often.
Below is something I wrote while I was bored, hope you enjoy it, it's kinda funny. The "pet peeves" section would be what my end of the conversation would sound like, and yes, everyone of them is something that we have taken at Polk County, they are not made up.
The 9-1-1 Dispatcher
The below accounts are mostly real, and have been experienced by either me or my co-workers. Some have been slightly exaggerated for humor, but not by much. Enjoy!
First of all, things we are not:
The power company
The water company
Plumbers
Electricians
Mechanics
Your Attorney
Judges
Your Landlord
Your Babysitter
Your Bank
The Zoo
Pizza Hut
Fireworks Coordinators
Parade Coordinators
Beggars Night Coordinators
Miracle Workers
Your Child’s Parents
Some of our pet peeves:
“I don’t know why the Tornado siren in your city is going off sir…maybe the ginormous tornado outside your back window has something to do with it!”
“Ma’am, your telling me there was a huge ice storm last night? And your telling me that your CUL-DE-SAC is the only street in the city with ice on it correct, and you want the plows there now to take care of it right? Ok, we will wake them right up and get them out there!”
Flashing red and blue lights usually mean cops cars, fire trucks and ambulances. There really is no need to call and tell us about the bad car accident on the interstate when you see those there. They are there to help!!
I really don’t care that Jimbo Ricky Billy Bob beat up your cousin’s baby’s mama back in 1983 when you are calling to report loud music coming from next door.
“No sir, I’m sorry! I don’t know the number to Timbucktoo Kalamazoo Police Department in upstate Alaska! Try Google, it’s GREAT!!
NEWS FLASH!! Interstate 80 runs from America’s West Coast to the East Coast, when we ask for the location of your emergency, “I’m on I-80” probably isn’t the best answer!
“I’m sorry Ma’am but an officer will not stop traffic so the Duck and her Ducklings can cross the road safely!”
“Let me get this straight Sir, you picked up a dog along side the road in Kansas City, brought it home to Ankeny, and you expect US to track down the owner!”
PLEASE DO NOT GIVE YOUR CHILDREN YOUR OLD CELL PHONE WITH THE BATTERY STILL IN IT! IT WILL STILL CALL 9-1-1!! While we enjoy chatting with children, we don’t want to talk to your 5 year-old 37 times in one day! Thanks!!
“Fly your kite as high as you want Sir, the FAA won’t care!!”
“No Ma’am, you only called 3 minutes ago, not 30. Cops drive cars, they don’t fly helicopters!”
We appreciate your calls in emergencies, but on a major interstate you are NOT the only person calling about the accident! See the other 150 people in the cars around you, they are ALL calling too!! There are 5 people in this room, sorry we didn’t answer the phone on the 1st ring, but you do the math!!”
“Sir! Please do not get mad at me because YOU don’t know where YOU are!! YOU’RE there I am not!!
Guess what!! I pay taxes too!! So I pay my own salary!
“Sir, think about this one. I’m sure you are not locked INSIDE your car!”
“Ma’am…..MA’AM! Please calm down! Ma’am, try to take a deep breath! I can’t understand you when you are sobbing so hard. I know, I understand the dead furry squirrel in the street is very traumatic!”
“You mean that Geo Prizm you just described is doing over 120 mph on a residential street?? WOW!!”
“No sir, your neighbor is not a serial killer, the police were just at his house to answer some questions he had. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!”
If any of you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask, I think my job is one of the most misunderstood around, and I enjoy talking to people about it.
