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Post by Justhawks17 on Jan 24, 2009 1:31:11 GMT -6
Lately, I have really wanted a girlfriend. I wish I had one right now. I just wish I knew how to talk to woman. I guess Im just scared to say anything. idk.
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Post by NOTTHOR on Jan 24, 2009 8:12:58 GMT -6
Start slow young man. When you turn 21, get some buddies and try some hogging to break the ice. You'll be fine.
Wait though, please tell me you're not still a virgin.
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Post by Iowafan1 on Jan 24, 2009 10:35:48 GMT -6
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Post by germaine on Jan 24, 2009 11:33:46 GMT -6
Wait though, please tell me you're not still a virgin. What's wrong with being a virgin? I'm not saying I am (I'm not), but I waited a long time before I finally had sex, and I actually wish I'd waited longer. And as much as I enjoy sex, I'm getting to a point where a committed relationship without the pressure of sex (for at least a while) is very appealing. Justin...as someone who has been single for most of her adult life...all I can tell you is live your life, do what you enjoy doing, try not to dwell on not having a gf (that can lead you to a downward spiral pretty quickly, and it's a hard one to climb out of, at least for me), and just start talking to women as a friend. If you meet somebody, don't focus on "Oh, this could be the one!" because then you just freak yourself out. |
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Post by socal on Jan 24, 2009 11:57:25 GMT -6
Lately, I have really wanted a girlfriend. I wish I had one right now. I just wish I knew how to talk to woman. I guess Im just scared to say anything. idk. The best advice I've got (that seemed to work wonderfully)... is act confidently (but not a dick). Look them in the face, be direct & honest. There is a better than even chance that they have a similar awkwardness and would look very favorably upon someone talking nicely to them. And always remember... that even though they are women, they also eat, fart, shit, get boogers, and occasionally smell... so there is nothing to worry yourself about. |
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Post by NotMyKid on Jan 24, 2009 11:58:54 GMT -6
Justin...as someone who has been single for most of her adult life...all I can tell you is live your life, do what you enjoy doing, try not to dwell on not having a gf (that can lead you to a downward spiral pretty quickly, and it's a hard one to climb out of, at least for me), and just start talking to women as a friend. If you meet somebody, don't focus on "Oh, this could be the one!" because then you just freak yourself out. and freak her out as well. |
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Post by germaine on Jan 24, 2009 12:03:49 GMT -6
Justin...as someone who has been single for most of her adult life...all I can tell you is live your life, do what you enjoy doing, try not to dwell on not having a gf (that can lead you to a downward spiral pretty quickly, and it's a hard one to climb out of, at least for me), and just start talking to women as a friend. If you meet somebody, don't focus on "Oh, this could be the one!" because then you just freak yourself out. and freak her out as well. Truth. |
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Post by Norm "racerhawk" Parker on Jan 24, 2009 12:50:55 GMT -6
Justin...as someone who has been single for most of her adult life...all I can tell you is live your life, do what you enjoy doing, try not to dwell on not having a gf (that can lead you to a downward spiral pretty quickly, and it's a hard one to climb out of, at least for me), and just start talking to women as a friend. If you meet somebody, don't focus on "Oh, this could be the one!" because then you just freak yourself out. and freak her out as well. Unless it actually is the one, of course. You both might be thinking the same thing in that event. However, starting with good conversation, listening, and mutual interest is always a good bet. Be nice to her. Don't try to be like so many and show how cool/rich/tough/experienced you are. Many girls fall for that, but they are not the type you want. Humor is also a wonderful asset and is a nice ice breaker, if done well. |
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Jan 24, 2009 13:07:00 GMT -6
1. Don't be desperate, or you'll settle and end up with a psycho bitch.
2. Be nice, respect women, but don't be TOO nice. Women tend to have a sixth sense for being desperate (or being a pussy, there I said it).
3. The person(s) that said don't meet you future lover in a bar is full of shit. My wife and I met at a bar. We didn't go out and do the "post bar dance", but still met there.
4. I was never known as a "player" or had very many girlfriends, so you can maybe take this post with a grain of salt...
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Post by germaine on Jan 24, 2009 13:24:14 GMT -6
1. Don't be desperate, or you'll settle and end up with a psycho bitch. 2. Be nice, respect women, but don't be TOO nice. Women tend to have a sixth sense for being desperate (or being a pussy, there I said it). Excellent points. Be nice and respectful, but maintain your backbone. I very briefly kinda went out with a guy (like, one sort of group date thing, a non-date going away party for a mutual friend, and he showed up at a friend's wedding reception)...nice guy, but zero backbone and no conversation skills...this led to awkward moments filled with silence (except for when we were both a little drunk, him moreso, at the going away party). |
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Jan 24, 2009 13:34:44 GMT -6
1. Don't be desperate, or you'll settle and end up with a psycho bitch. 2. Be nice, respect women, but don't be TOO nice. Women tend to have a sixth sense for being desperate (or being a pussy, there I said it). Excellent points. Be nice and respectful, but maintain your backbone. I very briefly kinda went out with a guy (like, one sort of group date thing, a non-date going away party for a mutual friend, and he showed up at a friend's wedding reception)...nice guy, but zero backbone and no conversation skills...this led to awkward moments filled with silence (except for when we were both a little drunk, him moreso, at the going away party). Awesome. My point was validated by a woman. Now I feel like I have all sorts of street cred.  That's the thing I had the hardest time with...being interested in a gal and not completely gushing all over her. I don't think it's coincidence that I met my now wife when I was completely sold on being single. |
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Post by TBELL on Jan 24, 2009 14:59:11 GMT -6
Justin, it will happen when you least expect it. I agree with Iteus on the point that I was sold on being single as well, but started talking with this girl. We would talk when we got the chance, but text almost all day, every day now. Now we love to hang out together and have a great time with each other.
Just be yourself and don't change for anyone. The one you want will love you for who you are.
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Post by kshawkesq on Jan 24, 2009 16:24:29 GMT -6
This is no big deal. Very common.
I will say this much. I was overweight, and self counscious and I pretty much wasted my college years pining away for girls that I thought I wasn't good enough for. I had a good group of friend and I was happy to be single until most of them started getting married. Never really thought about being in relationships because I was kept busy enough socially. Kind of like germaine.
So I get out of school, start making a few bucks, lose some weight, and I find out that some of those girls I liked back in school liked me a lot too. And some of them would have gone out with me. They tell me so years later. I could have asked them, but I didn't.
Anyhow, the story had a happy ending, because I'm at a bar doing dd duty and I meet a great girl who is on call. Getting married in October.
You can't just approach it from the "I need a girlfriend, so I am going to get one standpoint." You are college aged and I will presume you are in school. You will never have an easier time meeting single women. invite classmates to join you for a happy hour. go to parties. talk to strangers. Make good female friends. they will attempt to set you up with their friends if they think enough of you. And don't be afraid to ask one of them to meet you for a drink one on one.
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Post by Master Blaster on Jan 25, 2009 0:24:05 GMT -6
A sense of humor with a common sense approach to tastefulness is also very helpful.
Be yourself and have a good time. Don't be shy.
Thankfully women are much less discriminating when it comes to looks than we are.
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Post by NOTTHOR on Jan 25, 2009 8:30:38 GMT -6
Are you still going to DMACC? It's prolly kind of hard to meet broads there because it's a commuter school, it ain't like Iowa or something where there are a bunch of captive broads loitering all day. So hopefully you'll soon be ready to transfer.
Second, have you tried the gay card to meet gals. You can get a big posse of fag hags to hang around and that will teach you how to not be a douche around the ladies. Try that for a few months. Who knows, maybe you could pull the old "maybe I just need one good lady to cure my gayness" card. You gotta think outside the box here.
You are a delicate flower. Justin is Justin. Two very different situations.
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Post by Justhawks17 on Jan 25, 2009 19:00:35 GMT -6
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Post by Justhawks17 on Jan 25, 2009 19:06:36 GMT -6
Wait though, please tell me you're not still a virgin. What's wrong with being a virgin? I'm not saying I am (I'm not), but I waited a long time before I finally had sex, and I actually wish I'd waited longer. And as much as I enjoy sex, I'm getting to a point where a committed relationship without the pressure of sex (for at least a while) is very appealing. Justin...as someone who has been single for most of her adult life...all I can tell you is live your life, do what you enjoy doing, try not to dwell on not having a gf (that can lead you to a downward spiral pretty quickly, and it's a hard one to climb out of, at least for me), and just start talking to women as a friend. If you meet somebody, don't focus on "Oh, this could be the one!" because then you just freak yourself out. Thanks Germaine! Being careful and not rushing into something is a good idea. I need to realize that. And I will. |
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Post by Justhawks17 on Jan 25, 2009 19:10:55 GMT -6
Lately, I have really wanted a girlfriend. I wish I had one right now. I just wish I knew how to talk to woman. I guess Im just scared to say anything. idk. The best advice I've got (that seemed to work wonderfully)... is act confidently (but not a dick). Look them in the face, be direct & honest. There is a better than even chance that they have a similar awkwardness and would look very favorably upon someone talking nicely to them. And always remember... that even though they are women, they also eat, fart, shit, get boogers, and occasionally smell... so there is nothing to worry yourself about. For me, I get shy when I try and go talk to woman. And usually don't say anything to make me look confident LOL. Thanks for the advice Socal! |
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Post by Justhawks17 on Jan 25, 2009 19:23:43 GMT -6
1. Don't be desperate, or you'll settle and end up with a psycho bitch. 2. Be nice, respect women, but don't be TOO nice. Women tend to have a sixth sense for being desperate (or being a pussy, there I said it). 3. The person(s) that said don't meet you future lover in a bar is full of shit. My wife and I met at a bar. We didn't go out and do the "post bar dance", but still met there. 4. I was never known as a "player" or had very many girlfriends, so you can maybe take this post with a grain of salt... I know my sister and Brother in Law meet in a Bar, and they have been together for 7 years now I think and married 2 and a half years. I have some friends that also meet their girlfriends/Boyfriends Husband/wife in a bar as well. Thanks for the advice Itheus! |
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Post by mattahawk on Jan 25, 2009 22:58:18 GMT -6
I met the wife at a Valentines Day dance. Of all freaking places. I wasn't even going to go there. A friend had me talked into going into this mexican dance thing where they serve up all kinds of good Mexican. I changed my mind at the last minute, literally, and turned right towards Mason City. Rest is history. It's weird to think if I had turned left to Goodell I would not have 3 beautiful little girls and a wife. It truly does happen when you least expect it.
If you are used to doing the same thing every Friday/Saturday night, going to the bar to get laid or find a girlfriend go somewheres else at the spur of the moment and try someplace new. You never know.
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Post by hawkeyedug on Jan 25, 2009 23:16:37 GMT -6
What worked for me was not caring and not trying. I met my GF at work. I got to know her a little bit and thought she was really cool, it didn't hurt that she was cute either. I never treated her any differently that I would anyone else. We first started hanging outside of work in group with other people from work. I never thought that she would go for somebody like me so I never worried about it. My birthday rolls around and I invite everyone from work to go out and we all have a good time. Then one time we have plans that a couple of us are going to crash at her place after a night at the bars. The other guy decides to go stay at another friends instead and we end up staying up until some obscene hour just talking (seriously). Seeing as how that went well I gathered up the courage and in my exact words "You wanna hang out sometime?" She said "Sure". And the rest is history.
And if you're still a virgin, good on you. I was until 22, even though I had opportunities. I was even in a previous relationship for 2 years. I didn't sleep with my current GF until 4 months in. I don't regret it a bit. I've been with my "first" for over 3 1/2 years, and as far I can tell she will remain my only, I like it like that. I'm sure as hell not one of those fundy bible thumpers either.
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Post by twinegarden on Jan 26, 2009 0:31:20 GMT -6
I read the first post and all I can say is. . .
BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COUGH, COUGH BWA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are all in the same boat looking for a sweet bitch but I slill have to say. .. ..
BWA Is this really that funny...HAHA!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
punk ass chauncy
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Post by Dr. Doofenshmirtz (Heywood) on Jan 26, 2009 7:17:22 GMT -6
What worked for me was not caring and not trying. I met my GF at work. I got to know her a little bit and thought she was really cool, it didn't hurt that she was cute either. I never treated her any differently that I would anyone else. We first started hanging outside of work in group with other people from work. I never thought that she would go for somebody like me so I never worried about it. My birthday rolls around and I invite everyone from work to go out and we all have a good time. Then one time we have plans that a couple of us are going to crash at her place after a night at the bars. The other guy decides to go stay at another friends instead and we end up staying up until some obscene hour just talking (seriously). Seeing as how that went well I gathered up the courage and in my exact words "You wanna hang out sometime?" She said "Sure". And the rest is history. And if you're still a virgin, good on you. I was until 22, even though I had opportunities. I was even in a previous relationship for 2 years. I didn't sleep with my current GF until 4 months in. I don't regret it a bit. I've been with my "first" for over 3 1/2 years, and as far I can tell she will remain my only, I like it like that. I'm sure as hell not one of those fundy bible thumpers either. This is the exact same thing that I experienced when my wife and I started dating. My only differences were age (20) and some of the length of time. It's amazing what you can find when you aren't looking. |
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Post by NotMyKid on Jan 26, 2009 10:44:42 GMT -6
I met my wife at work as well. She had a serious boyfriend so neither of us were looking for anything. We became very good friends and a couple of years in we both realized that there was something there. She dumped her BF and the rest is history.
Don't be actively looking for a GF more times than not you will fail at that, it's way to much pressure.
Like others have said, hang out and become friends with women it's a lot less pressure that way and you would be surprised what happens on it's own.
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