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Post by Gumbyhawk on Mar 13, 2009 13:53:40 GMT -6
The State of Iowa's hiring practices. (ahem) I was to have taken a Correctional Officer Exam at the Newton Facility (yes, I know it's prolish). Anyways, to set all of this shit up, you first have to go online, create a profile with your resume and cover letter, then you apply. Only their online system is an antiquated piece-of-shit and has been known to kick you out and give you all kinds of assorted problems. Not only that, if you have applied to a position title in the past, you cannot apply once again. It doesn't matter how long it has been, if the actual job is in a completely different location, if you just want to re-apply, etc. In my case, I had applied and had taken the test at the Newton Prison about 2 1/2 years ago. But, I wanted to test again figuring that I could probably raise my score with this being my second time and increase my chances of actually getting called in to interview. However, the system showed that I had already applied for this job and couldn't apply again. Soooo... I called the Dept of Admin Services number and actually talked to a human (just barely). The knuckle-dragger ended up resetting my profile so I could apply for the position online. I was pumped to be making progress! I soon got a notice that I 'passed' the first round and was allowed to test! All I had to do was set it up. So, I called the Newton Prison and talked to Personnel there. No problem, I was told. The test date is March 13. 12:30PM. I was given directions, told what time to be there, what to bring with me, what NOT to bring with me, be sure to lock my car, etc, etc, etc. She then asked me if I had received a letter giving me permission to test. I had not. "No problem", she said. "I can send one out to you". I elected to have her simply email it to me and received said email while I was still on the phone with her. I thanked her for her help, told her I would be there on the 13th, and hung up the phone... making sure to mark the date on the calendar. Fast forward to today... I get there, have everything I need, driver's license (check), copy of the email allowing me to test (check). Cool. I'm set. Not so fast!! The jackass behind the glass says "uh, we don't show your name on our list". (FUKK!!) I give him some more info. He flips through some papers to make it appear that he cares. Nope. "Who did you speak with about being allowed to test?" he asks. I tell him the woman's name (I was kinda surprised I even knew it). "Okay, let me call her". Well, wouldn't you know it? The woman wasn't in. "Sorry, but I can't let you test" he says to me. He may have well kicked me in the nuts. So, as I am leaving the facility, I try calling this woman myself. Nope, not in. I basically just left a voicemail where I explained that I was not being allowed to test and to please call me back. That was over 2 hours ago. I double-check the email I received with the 'okay' to test. There IS mention of how I need to contact the facility to set up my test. However, I was ON THE FUCKING PHONE WITH THE FACILITY WHEN THEY SENT ME THE EMAIL! Doesn't it kinda stand to reason that I wanted to test at THAT facility? Especially when we discussed the date, time, what I need to bring, what to leave at home, etc.? Sooo... I basically wasted a good chunk of my day, some gas, and a hell of a lot of effort jumping through hoops for nothing. Gov Culver and the talking heads bitch about how young, talented Iowans are not staying within the state and how they need to do everything they can to keep people here, etc. Well, they sure do have some room for improvement as it relates to state jobs. I'm pretty pissed off. I get where there is a 'screening process', but it shouldn't come down to being 'screened out' due to umpteen bureaucratic hoops to jump through. I would have been happy to do something more if I had any indication that I was to do more to ensure my testing spot, but I really feel that it was THEY who dropped the ball here. I don't expect anyone to feel sorry for me. I don't even feel sorry for myself. I just need to bitch and vent. Thanks to all who read my rambling.
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Post by HawksStock on Mar 13, 2009 14:18:48 GMT -6
If you do interview, make sure you tell them that you intend to make a career of it. I was the top scoring person for a dispatcher, but I told them I could only promise them 8 mos. I was willing to sacrifice a semester to be paid well. (and I was former military) They chose the no. 2, but she was female.
Note: I did top her on the test (very few could "test" better than me. But the "bonus" also factors in, are they female, minority, or single mother? As a white male you are the last they will select.
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Mar 13, 2009 14:22:44 GMT -6
As a white male you are the last they will select. Bingo!!
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Post by Solar Stud on Mar 13, 2009 14:35:00 GMT -6
Gumby,
Some honest advice....
Part of my job is the hiring/firing of civilian technicans at the Great Lakes Naval Hospital. I've been dealing with our Human Resources (HR) dept for 5 years now.
Our HR dept, like many gov't agencies, have people who simply don't their job well, know much and really don't want hassles or want to be bothered.
What has worked for me when I've encountered what you did was simply say, "I want to speak to your supervisor."
Those magical words change everything for the reasons listed above. The person being stupid doesn't want to hassle with the boss or be proven to be wrong, so they usually cave and give me what I need.
Also, ask the lady who you dealt with who HER boss is next time, and if the guard won't budge, you ask to speak to that person. That works too.
Sorry it happened man....I've lived it for 5 years and while I can't expect perfection, people don't fuck with me much since I always ask the magic question and get results.
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Post by NOTTHOR on Mar 13, 2009 15:06:41 GMT -6
(yes, I know it's prolish) It's not prolish. Those jobs pay well and have pension benefits worth millions of dollars upon retirement.
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Mar 13, 2009 15:07:08 GMT -6
Gumby, Some honest advice.... Part of my job is the hiring/firing of civilian technicans at the Great Lakes Naval Hospital. I've been dealing with our Human Resources (HR) dept for 5 years now. Our HR dept, like many gov't agencies, have people who simply don't their job well, know much and really don't want hassles or want to be bothered. What has worked for me when I've encountered what you did was simply say, "I want to speak to your supervisor." Those magical words change everything for the reasons listed above. The person being stupid doesn't want to hassle with the boss or be proven to be wrong, so they usually cave and give me what I need. Also, ask the lady who you dealt with who HER boss is next time, and if the guard won't budge, you ask to speak to that person. That works too. Sorry it happened man....I've lived it for 5 years and while I can't expect perfection, people don't f**k with me much bince I always ask the magic question and get results. Thanks, Seth! Believe me, they haven't heard the last of me. I intend to bitch, write a letter, something. But the fact of the matter is that it really won't fix the damage done. I missed the testing. The next one won't be for months, and I may not be able to take it on that day. Hopefully though, my bitching will make it so some other poor guy/gal doesn't end up getting the shaft like I did. I wholeheartedly agree though, Seth. People just don't want to do their damned jobs anymore. I know what happened in my case, she was talking to me on the phone, sent me the email, and then hung up without marking my name/info down on the list. Excusable? I suppose. But it should be a pretty easy part of the job one would think. I can accept mistakes, but want them corrected. And the only way this mistake can really be corrected in my mind is to have them bump up my prior test score by a good 35 points. I feel that I probably could have improved by that much and frankly, feel like I deserve it for their incompetence. But it won't happen. That I already know. Oh well. What I will probably do is ask them what can be done. If they are worth any salt at all, they will ask ME what I think and I will tell them. But yeah, I might have to speak to this woman's supervisor.
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Mar 13, 2009 15:08:21 GMT -6
(yes, I know it's prolish) It's not prolish. Those jobs pay well and have pension benefits worth millions of dollars upon retirement. Starting pay sucks ass. But the retirement and anticipated job security would be sweet.
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Post by NOTTHOR on Mar 13, 2009 15:17:13 GMT -6
Thanks, Seth! Believe me, they haven't heard the last of me. I intend to bitch, write a letter, something. But the fact of the matter is that it really won't fix the damage done. I missed the testing. The next one won't be for months, and I may not be able to take it on that day. Hopefully though, my bitching will make it so some other poor guy/gal doesn't end up getting the shaft like I did. I wholeheartedly agree though, Seth. People just don't want to do their damned jobs anymore. I know what happened in my case, she was talking to me on the phone, sent me the email, and then hung up without marking my name/info down on the list. Excusable? I suppose. But it should be a pretty easy part of the job one would think. I can accept mistakes, but want them corrected. And the only way this mistake can really be corrected in my mind is to have them bump up my prior test score by a good 35 points. I feel that I probably could have improved by that much and frankly, feel like I deserve it for their incompetence. But it won't happen. That I already know. Oh well. What I will probably do is ask them what can be done. If they are worth any salt at all, they will ask ME what I think and I will tell them. But yeah, I might have to speak to this woman's supervisor. Chillax for a few days before you send anything or make any calls. You are applying for a job. A job that requires you to show good judgment and decision making. A job that if you fuck up, someone can die and the State can be exposed to millions of dollars of liability. The last thing they want is to hire a loose cannon. Keep that in mind in your interactions with the State. I deal with government workers frequently. They are generally good people, but they have high job security and no bonus or upside potential, so they are not necessarily the most motivated bunch. 9-5. Nothing more. She forgot to key something in. Call her. She'll say she was sorry. You'll have to retake the test. It is what it is. Just don't douche up the situation and piss the job down your leg.
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Post by lpcalihawk on Mar 13, 2009 15:19:48 GMT -6
It's not prolish. Those jobs pay well and have pension benefits worth millions of dollars upon retirement. Starting pay sucks ass. But the retirement and anticipated job security would be sweet. A job is a job nowadays. Good luck with getting the future testing.
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Post by NOTTHOR on Mar 13, 2009 15:21:45 GMT -6
Starting pay sucks ass. But the retirement and anticipated job security would be sweet. A job is a job nowadays. Good luck with getting the future testing. Cosign. And don't forget about the little whiz quiz, either. My guess is you have to piss clean or maybe even have a clean hair sample to get a job like that. You better steer clear of the ganj.
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Mar 13, 2009 15:33:39 GMT -6
Thanks, Seth! Believe me, they haven't heard the last of me. I intend to bitch, write a letter, something. But the fact of the matter is that it really won't fix the damage done. I missed the testing. The next one won't be for months, and I may not be able to take it on that day. Hopefully though, my bitching will make it so some other poor guy/gal doesn't end up getting the shaft like I did. I wholeheartedly agree though, Seth. People just don't want to do their damned jobs anymore. I know what happened in my case, she was talking to me on the phone, sent me the email, and then hung up without marking my name/info down on the list. Excusable? I suppose. But it should be a pretty easy part of the job one would think. I can accept mistakes, but want them corrected. And the only way this mistake can really be corrected in my mind is to have them bump up my prior test score by a good 35 points. I feel that I probably could have improved by that much and frankly, feel like I deserve it for their incompetence. But it won't happen. That I already know. Oh well. What I will probably do is ask them what can be done. If they are worth any salt at all, they will ask ME what I think and I will tell them. But yeah, I might have to speak to this woman's supervisor. Chillax for a few days before you send anything or make any calls. You are applying for a job. A job that requires you to show good judgment and decision making. A job that if you f**k up, someone can die and the State can be exposed to millions of dollars of liability. The last thing they want is to hire a loose cannon. Keep that in mind in your interactions with the State. I deal with government workers frequently. They are generally good people, but they have high job security and no bonus or upside potential, so they are not necessarily the most motivated bunch. 9-5. Nothing more. She forgot to key something in. Call her. She'll say she was sorry. You'll have to retake the test. It is what it is. Just don't douche up the situation and piss the job down your leg. Word dat. When I called the woman and left the voicemail, I was very polite on the phone. I usually am, but was still a bit surprised at how professional I was based on how pissed I was at the time. I'll wait a few days and then decide what to do.
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Mar 13, 2009 15:39:52 GMT -6
A job is a job nowadays. Good luck with getting the future testing. Cosign. And don't forget about the little whiz quiz, either. My guess is you have to piss clean or maybe even have a clean hair sample to get a job like that. You better steer clear of the ganj. I always look forward to the "whiz quiz" knowing that some poor slob won't pass... and that won't be me. I'm as clean as a virgin's honey-pot. All they will find in my piss is loads of caffeine depending on the day. I'm clean. I'm not like SOME hippies on this board.
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Post by lpcalihawk on Mar 13, 2009 15:40:39 GMT -6
Cosign. And don't forget about the little whiz quiz, either. My guess is you have to piss clean or maybe even have a clean hair sample to get a job like that. You better steer clear of the ganj. I always look forward to the whiz quiz knowing that some poor slob won't pass. I'm as clean as a virgin's honey-pot... well, other than loads of caffeine at times. I'm not a hippy like SOME people on this board. I've never failed a test.......somehow I squeak by
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Post by NOTTHOR on Mar 13, 2009 15:41:41 GMT -6
I always look forward to the whiz quiz knowing that some poor slob won't pass. I'm as clean as a virgin's honey-pot... well, other than loads of caffeine at times. I'm not a hippy like SOME people on this board. I've never failed a test.......somehow I squeak by Whizzinator??? The drink??? Niacin???
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Mar 13, 2009 15:42:29 GMT -6
LOL
BTW, I actually do have a new job I am starting on Monday. It is long-term temp with a good shot at permanent hire, so all is not bad with me.
I just have a low tolerance for incompetent people... especially when a possible job/providing for my family is involved.
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Post by lpcalihawk on Mar 13, 2009 15:43:08 GMT -6
Timing and lots of fluids. My buddy's a probation officer and has given me a few tips that don't require buying a bunch of hocus pocus stuff.
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Mar 13, 2009 15:44:14 GMT -6
Timing and lots of fluids. My buddy's a probation officer and has given me a few tips that don't require buying a bunch of hocus pocus stuff. I can't help but think of the "oil change" scene in the movie "The Program".
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Post by NOTTHOR on Mar 13, 2009 15:50:33 GMT -6
Timing and lots of fluids. My buddy's a probation officer and has given me a few tips that don't require buying a bunch of hocus pocus stuff. Do tell.
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Post by roxxstar on Mar 13, 2009 16:37:03 GMT -6
Whizzanator is the way to go. That's how I got my job. You can make one yourself too. All you need is a sturdy pouch to keep the pee in. Something that is thin enough to transfer heat, but strong enough not to break. Other then that, get fresh pee before you go. Make sure you buy yourself 2 or 3 of those handwarmers that hunters use. Tape those around your baggie and stuff it in your shorts. Before you dump it in the cup, squeeze it to heat it up. Don't worry about it being too hot. There will be a thermometer on the cup. Just wait for it to cool down before you take it out to the nurse.
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Post by HawksStock on Mar 13, 2009 16:41:35 GMT -6
Guys, the guy who did the original research on weed said it's best done once a week. It was never really an every day thing. That being said, their is a goth shop in the mall that sells only one covering agent, and it works.
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Mar 13, 2009 16:58:05 GMT -6
I've provided clean urine before. Maybe I should start selling that shit. Beats a 2nd job...
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Post by lpcalihawk on Mar 16, 2009 8:39:51 GMT -6
Timing and lots of fluids. My buddy's a probation officer and has given me a few tips that don't require buying a bunch of hocus pocus stuff. Do tell. If you are 24/7 smoker, you pretty much have to do the Whizzanator or get someone else to pee for you. If you are an occasional smoker, weed can leave your system in less than 30 days via a urine test. Let's say BTR smoked some fat bongs on March 1.......now BTR's firm tells him he's got to take a urine test tomorrow. If BTR hasn't smoked fat bongs bince 3-1-09 and was an occasional smoker before March 1........BTR just needs to drink a gallon of water or iced tea tonight before bed. Pretty much guarantee that nothing will show up on BTR's urine test tomorrow if he follows that protocol.
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Post by thunderhawk on Mar 16, 2009 9:38:34 GMT -6
As a white male you are the last they will select. Bingo!! If you were a black disabled lesbian you'd be golden.
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Post by socal on Mar 16, 2009 10:30:37 GMT -6
If you are 24/7 smoker, you pretty much have to do the Whizzanator or get someone else to pee for you. If you are an occasional smoker, weed can leave your system in less than 30 days via a urine test. Let's say BTR smoked some fat bongs on March 1.......now BTR's firm tells him he's got to take a urine test tomorrow. If BTR hasn't smoked fat bongs bince 3-1-09 and was an occasional smoker before March 1........BTR just needs to drink a gallon of water or iced tea tonight before bed. Pretty much guarantee that nothing will show up on BTR's urine test tomorrow if he follows that protocol. This kind of pisses me off... All you fucktards that aren't being laid off, could be instantly fired for your drug use. And a dude that hasn't even been drunk in over a decade is stocking up on products that are normally a staple for druggies - so he can at least feed his kids once he's laid off. ...And to think that some people bitch about "illegals" taking all the jobs. Kiss my soon to be Ramen/Mac&Cheese eating ass. PS - If there's a job opening for a "Clean Pisser", let me know.
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Post by iammrhawkeyes on Mar 16, 2009 11:05:52 GMT -6
If you are 24/7 smoker, you pretty much have to do the Whizzanator or get someone else to pee for you. If you are an occasional smoker, weed can leave your system in less than 30 days via a urine test. Let's say BTR smoked some fat bongs on March 1.......now BTR's firm tells him he's got to take a urine test tomorrow. If BTR hasn't smoked fat bongs bince 3-1-09 and was an occasional smoker before March 1........BTR just needs to drink a gallon of water or iced tea tonight before bed. Pretty much guarantee that nothing will show up on BTR's urine test tomorrow if he follows that protocol. This kind of pisses me off... All you fucktards that aren't being laid off, could be instantly fired for your drug use. And a dude that hasn't even been drunk in over a decade is stocking up on products that are normally a staple for druggies - so he can at least feed his kids once he's laid off. ...And to think that some people bitch about "illegals" taking all the jobs. Kiss my soon to be Ramen/Mac&Cheese eating ass. PS - If there's a job opening for a "Clean Pisser", let me know. F'ing dopers took yer job. Only one thing to do about it. Yep, man love.
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