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Post by roxxstar on Mar 17, 2009 11:12:56 GMT -6
I'm curious to see how many criminals we have on this board. Feel free to use the thread to tell the tale of your greatest (or stupidest) criminal exploits. A check of the statute of limitations may be in order here. I know I have a few war stories from my younger, stupider years. I'm not sharing first though.  |
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Post by Stukat on Mar 17, 2009 11:15:20 GMT -6
Is this something we got caught for? or just something that we new was illegal when we did it, but didnt get caught.
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Mar 17, 2009 11:24:19 GMT -6
I'm curious to see how many criminals we have on Smurf board. Feel free to use the thread to tell the tale of your greatest (or stupidest) criminal exploits. A check of the statute of limitations may be in order here. I know I have a few war stories from my younger, stupider years. I'm not sharing first though. I'd be curious to know what you voted for... |
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Post by rollinspliff on Mar 17, 2009 11:30:04 GMT -6
Cars get submerged when I get drunk. You were there
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Post by roxxstar on Mar 17, 2009 11:38:50 GMT -6
Is Smurf something we got caught for? or just something that we new was illegal when we did it, but didnt get caught. Worst crime ever committed. Whether or not you got caught is irrelevant. |
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Post by roxxstar on Mar 17, 2009 11:40:11 GMT -6
And the felonys are out to an early lead.
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Post by isu is shit on Mar 17, 2009 12:44:54 GMT -6
Making home made bombs and putting them on porches of people we didn't like. It's definitely the dumbest thing I've done. I didn't get caught but there was an article in the paper about a family being "terrorized." The article said it would be terroism charges if we would've been caught.
Funny thing is, I was on the high school baseball team, and the douche that we did this too was also on the baseball team. Well when I saw the article in the paper, I got worried that word would get back to this dude that me and my friends did it.
I swear, everyone on the baseball team knew we did it, but no one told the douche bag who did it. No one liked him.
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Post by roxxstar on Mar 17, 2009 13:19:32 GMT -6
Worst crime I ever got caught for was at my Stukat's 21st or 22nd B-Day party. I got black out drunk on Vodka. I saw my ex with another dude, which apparently put me in a bad state of mind. Don't remember any of this, but I apparently threw a glass in the street on Clinton St. (outside of One Eyed Jake's) and tackled one of those US Postal drop boxes (yes, the ones bolted to the ground). I then proceeded to the parking lot by the Old Capital Mall and kicked in 3 car windows. I then proceeded to steal the owners manual to an old Honda Integra (I think it was a Honda), a cookie tin (the old shiny round boxes that your grandma keeps cookies in), a country western tape (not a cd, a tape; not sure why?), and 2 or 3 other random, low-value items.
I woke up in the Johnson County jail the next day with no idea on how I got there. I was charged with 3rd Degree Burglary (FELONY). I was arrested at 12 or 1 in the morning. I was still too intoxicated to go in front of the magistrate at 8:00 the next morning and again at 1:00. I had to wait till the next day before I could see one.
Luckily all ended well. I received a deferred judgment and, after succesful completion of probation, had the event expunged from my record so it doesn't show up in a criminal search.
Pretty fucked up night. Like I said, don't remember it all. I've calmed down quite a bit since then (8 years ago). I'm glad my vandalism phase has passed.
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Post by iammrhawkeyes on Mar 17, 2009 14:12:22 GMT -6
I'm glad my vandalism phase has passed. Ditto for Honda Integra owners. |
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Post by roxxstar on Mar 17, 2009 14:49:36 GMT -6
I'm glad my vandalism phase has passed. Ditto for Honda Integra owners. No doubt. And to clarify, part of my probation was to pay full restitution for all damage done. So, Honda man got a nice new shiny window. |
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Post by Stukat on Mar 17, 2009 16:16:57 GMT -6
Improper use of a fake id and also possion of a controlled substance 1, (the cheeba) where the ones I got caught for. (deffered judgements on both)
EDIT: not sure if these are serious misdomeners (Sp?) or felonies....so i cant really vote.
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Post by Master Blaster on Mar 17, 2009 21:05:09 GMT -6
I'd say underage drinking and driving while intoxicated. I hardly drink anymore, based on how it would screw up my career. that and having kids put the big stop on the going out drinking nights.
Do have some good tails of what some of my guys do overseas, but that wasn't the subject so I'll defer.
Never was the vandalizing type. Didn't get in a lot of fights. Never did any illegal drugs. Guess I was a little bit of a stiff. I did shoot holes in road signs, but I think that is a state past time and not a real crime right? How bout shooting female pheasants?
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Post by hawkeyedug on Mar 17, 2009 21:37:47 GMT -6
I'm not sure which is worse of all of my very common crimes. I drank one night when underage, I smoked pot once, I drove once when drunk, and I commonly speed. I was never caught, except for speeding.
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Post by germaine on Mar 17, 2009 22:56:31 GMT -6
Speeding (pulled over once, no tickets) and a moving violation (ticket).
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Post by NotMyKid on Mar 18, 2009 8:05:36 GMT -6
Speeding (pulled over once, no tickets) Officer, is there ANYTHING that I could do so I don't get a ticket? ;D |
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Post by HawksStock on Mar 18, 2009 8:08:38 GMT -6
Speeding (pulled over once, no tickets) and a moving violation (ticket). Wow, that is exciting. Initially, I thought my worst offense was selling pot. Yet when I think about the actual effects on others (or possible effects), there can be no doubt that DUI is the worst. |
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Post by hawkeyescott on Mar 18, 2009 8:37:56 GMT -6
Improper use of a fake id and also possion of a controlled substance 1, (the cheeba) where the ones I got caught for. (deffered judgements on both) EDIT: not sure if these are serious misdomeners (Sp?) or felonies....so i cant really vote. Well don't do anything fucking crazy from here on out. You do realize you only get 2 deferred judgements in your life. I used one of mine, we were hammered one night and decided it would be a good idea to destroy mailboxes with a baseball bat going by them at about 60. We got busted and charged with the felony version because we destroyed about 40 of them and the total was over $500 which I think was the reason for the felony charge instead of a misdeameanor. Then to top it off the driver (not me) also gets charged with first offense OWI. It wasn't a good night to say the least. Now when I look back on this shit I just shake my head and wonder what the fuck I was thinking. |
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Post by germaine on Mar 18, 2009 9:03:26 GMT -6
Speeding (pulled over once, no tickets) and a moving violation (ticket). Wow, that is exciting. I don't see where having a good time requires breaking the law. |
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Post by NotMyKid on Mar 18, 2009 10:15:53 GMT -6
I don't see where having a good time requires breaking the law. Agreed, although some people don't feel the same way. You know the rush of doing something you're not suppose to be doing. |
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Post by HawksStock on Mar 18, 2009 10:54:57 GMT -6
At no point did I ever state that you had to break the law to have fun.
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Post by roxxstar on Mar 18, 2009 11:02:26 GMT -6
Improper use of a fake id and also possion of a controlled substance 1, (the cheeba) where the ones I got caught for. (deffered judgements on both) Now when I look back on Smurf shit I just shake my head and wonder what the f**k I was thinking. I hear you man. Hopefully we can chalk crap like that up to being young, dumb and intoxicated. Either that or I was just plain retarded at one point in my life. |
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Mar 18, 2009 18:09:12 GMT -6
Where does 'indecent exposure' fall? And yes, you've probably done it too. Ever fukk in public? Take a piss while tailgating? Hell, we're all guilty!  Let's see. For myself, there's been vandalism, OWI, underage possession, assault, trespassing, petty theft, reckless use of firearms, reckless use of explosives. Think that about covers it. However, most serious thing I got nabbed for was pissing in a cemetary when I was all fucked up. And the cop never even breathalized me. Kinda obvious I was blitzed. |
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Post by mattahawk on Mar 19, 2009 21:37:13 GMT -6
I don't know if I have ever committed a felony. Did get charged with 4th or 5th degree criminal mischief. Me and 3 friends went on a mini' crime spree smashing pumpkins for about an entire month. Got busted by some neighbor guy and he gave the license plate to the cops and the owner of the car sang like a freaking canary when the cops showed up on his door.
I have also provided alcohol to minors when I was in my early 20's. Speeding is fairly common to me. So is not wearing my seatbelt, although I put it on when we go out of town. I am fairly sure it safe to say I have been driving while hammered, although never been caught for it. Actually that's not true.
I was caught for it after I caused an accident on 65 north right next to the mall in Mason. I wanted to call the cops because I knew the other guy was drunk and for some reason I thought I wasn't. The cops showed up about 45 minutes after I got a hold of them, and I had been sucking on pennies and breath mints that I bought in the store when I called the cops. He asked me to walk a straight line which I did. Asked me to say the alphabet in a funny order, (start the alphabet at B or something and go to G and stop. Start again at M and go to R and then say the last 3 letters. Something screwed up like that. I don't think I could have caught that sober.) and I didn't catch what he said so he declared me drunk, arrested me and took me downtown to take a breathalyzer. Which I passed. Twice. He couldn't believe it. He was dead sure I was drunk, you should have seen the look on his face when I blew a .53 both times. Never forget it.
Indecent exposure? Yep, fooling around with the wife during a movie downtown. Had my hand in her pants, on several occasions.
Vandalism, done it.
Murder, no but have to say I sure thought about it once or ten.
Public intox, no doubt about it. Although that has to be the biggest joke out there. Walking home from a bar can get you that whether you are doing anything wrong or not. A guy here in town gets it all the time and he isn't doing anything wrong other than walking funny because he is hammered off his ass, he's an alcoholic. Also you can get a public intox by being a passenger in a car and having had some beer in you. The cop pulls you over and asks for ID, determines you have had a couple and asks you to step out of the car. Boom, public intox right there. Never get out of the car!!!
My wife and I contemplated voting for Kerry and Edwards.
Those are all the sins I have ever committed. Whew.
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