Are Jehovah's Witnesses aliens??

[Gumbyhawk]

These assholes have been bothering me bince March. They stopped by back then, rang the doorbell, got the dog all bugged out (since nobody we know actually rings the doorbell) and then proceeded to want to talk "Bible" to me. I politely declined and they handed me some pamphlet bullshit to look at. I'll admit it... I DID look at the pamphlet... to make fun of it. Never gave it much more of a thought.


Until yesterday. I was in the shower, just got shampoo in my hair and lathered up, when the wife came in and said "there are two men at the door looking for you". WTF?? I wondered who they were and she had no idea. Anyway, I get rinsed off and out of the shower, throw something on and discover that they had left... but left me something... another pamphlet. They were the same Jehovah's Witnesses!


Well, I thanked my lucky fortune for being able to avoid them and went to Hy-Vee to get groceries. I get back, I pull into the garage, take a load into the house and come back out.


HOLY SHIT!! Two guys (well, one was a pimply high school kid) dressed in black are standing right at the entrance to our garage. I instinctly formed a fist and began cocking back before I caught myself. THE FUCKERS WERE BACK!!


So there I was, just wanting to get my beer and frozen goods out of my car, talking to two guys about the Bible... trying to get them to leave and never come back.


They were kinda freaky, guys. The one kid never said ONE fucking word the whole time until saying "bye" at the end. He looked around and looked at this shoes most of the time. The older guy did the talking and I'm not sure that he blinked during the entire 5 minute conversation. The way that they seemingly appeared out of nowhere was freaky as hell. And our dog didn't even bark this time (and she keeps a good lookout for strangers). The topper was that BLANK look on their faces and their obvious deficiencies in socializing and almost robotic mannerisms. I really wish I had a video clip to show everyone!


So, I started to wonder about these guys and began to think maybe they are actually space aliens. I mean... you hear stories about how aliens are already living among us. I am convinced that if so... the fuckers are living as Jehovah's Witnesses and their "recruiting" campaign in just some lame way to get you to submit to an anal probe.


What do you dudes think? Am I on to something?

[TBELL]

I always hide from them in the house if I see them out there. I don't even bother to answer the door. After about twice, they get the point. I did have one of them dupe me into answering the door though. Sneaky fucker stood to the side so I couldnt see him, and when I opened the door to look around, BOOM, there he was!!

I wasn't very nice to him, and he didn't come back either.

[Gumbyhawk]

Jun 7, 2009 16:22:10 GMT -6 TBELL said:

and he didn't come back either.

Are you sure? Have you checked for "scoop marks"?(http://www.ufoinfo.com/news/scoopmark.shtml)


I'm telling ya, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this shit.

[lpcalihawk]

The fact that their religion is based on the fact that the second coming of Christ has already happened (around 1920) should tell you something.

On a related note, when living with my brother in Iowa City about 8 years ago, we had Mormons come to the door. We saw them out the window and the dog was barking raising hell. My brother stood in front of the window and proceeded to yell "Beat it, Joseph Smith!!!"

[Gumbyhawk]

Jun 9, 2009 8:17:14 GMT -6 lpcalihawk said:

The fact that their religion is based on the fact that the second coming of Christ has already happened (around 1920) should tell you something.

On a related note, when living with my brother in Iowa City about 8 years ago, we had Mormons come to the door. We saw them out the window and the dog was barking raising hell. My brother stood in front of the window and proceeded to yell "Beat it, Joseph Smith!!!"

Mormons are just as bad.


I knew a chick who was dating a Mormon. The dude couldn't drink a Pepsi, yet he didn't seem to mind boning her in his parent's kitchen. Explain THAT shit to me.

[HawksStock]

I read the book of mormon, that thing is full of inconsistencies.

One of the small evangelical churches in Muscatine had much different approach... They used very attractive women to "spread the word". Only the were pretty dumb. At the time I was in the "full born" again swing, so when lady asked if I would like to learn more about christ, I replied,
"hon, you're preaching to the choir."

Her face lit up, "You're in the choir?"

I was dumbfounded, but after I recovered I looked into her gorgeous eyes, "Um, yeah... it's a blast"

She told me to have a nice day, and left. I didn't have the heart to explain it to her.

[Gumbyhawk]

UPDATE!!


The wife tells me as I was getting ready to get into the shower yet again this morning that some dude had knocked on the door, but she hid and the guy went away.


I guess the guy had a backpack and some pamphlet thing in his hand.


I'm gonna have to go roshambo on some poor fucktard here pretty soon if this shit keeps up. Then, we will see if "their God" saves them!

[Mr Olympia]

are Jehovah's witnesses aliens, no. Aliens have to have an advanced intellect to be able to travel through space. Even the stupidest fucktard aliens would be as smart as the average human one would think. Creepy, yes, an "advanced race of people", no. Just creepy people who have basically been brainwashed.