Play or quit?

[Master Blaster]

So I got me a dilemma. My ten year old wanted to play football this fall. So we got him signed up for the local flag football league, they play in full pads and it is all but tackle the ball carrier. Well, he is really miserable and does not in any way comprehend the game. He complains to the wife that he wants to quit, he hurts and doesn't want to do it anymore. Daily. I am as you guessed unable to teach him/ work with him on any of this stuff, but according to the wife, he really is getting creamed out there daily. He weighs 62 lbs in a 60-105 lb league. Littlest kid on the field thing.
So the question is, do I let him quit and thus spare him the physical agony that will continue for the next 3 months? Or do I let him quit and hope to preserve a chance at him playing/ enjoying the game later on in life? He is apparently physically outmatched and without any football skill.

Ah the decisions of fatherhood. I normally don't let him quit anything he has started. What say you?

Edit: I am out to sea currently and will not be around to help teach him.

[scotthawk]

I don't let my kids quit a sport once they have started. I feel that sticking it out a season is not too much to ask. My son has only disliked 1 sport and that was baseball but he did finish the season and he was actually a decent player. But.....if safety is a concern, I would take that into consideration. Do you know any of the kids dad's? Maybe ask their opinion of your son and ask if he is really getting creamed everyday. Sometimes mom's overreact when they see their kid getting up off the ground each play, that doesn't mean he is getting creamed.

[NOTTHOR]

Get him some Darren Sproles videos. Do you think Gerald Ford quit peewee football? Buy him some of that Beefcake stuff that Cartman used.

But, on the other hand, if you are away and can't evaluate for yourself, maybe you should take Ma's word for it and let him quit. If he's that small and really hates it, no sense in forcing him to do it. I mean, even though quitting could turn him into a hippie, making him stick it out could do the same and in 10 years he could wind up in a dorm room in Boulder wearing Birkenstocks pontificating with hippies about how his asshole dad made him play football and how he is such a non-conformist and how he hates sports and how awesome Ward Churchill is. Pretty scary either way.

[lpcalihawk]

Let 'em quit. For those parents who say they never let their kids quit anything they ever started, I hope you parents have never quit a job.

Why ruin the kid's perception of the sport by making him stick something out he obviously hates and isn't good at? Let the kid find something he enjoys and can excel at and you and your son will be better off.

[101]

If he ends up like many adults, he has an entire adulthood of doing something that he hates, every day.

If he doesn't enjoy it and isn't good at it, no harm in letting him quit and find some other sport that is more suited for his skills and tastes.

[thejesus]

What does he say to you? Does he tell YOU that he wants to quit? How you parent your child is not my business, but my opinion would be to talk with him and find out what he wants to do and why.

If he wants to quit because he doesn't enjoy it, then so be it. If he wants to quit because it's "too hard", but still likes the sport, then you can tell him about all the good stuff that comes with sticking something out to the end......persevering......etc.

But, IMHO, never quitting anything is not a noble mantra. Life is about figuring out what you like and what you don't like....then picking out the the stuff that interests you and doing it. If your not into something, then what's the point in sticking it out?

Although I do realize the perspective changes when your dealing with a 10 year old and trying to teach him to be a man.

So, my final advice is......................??

[iammrhawkeyes]

Tough call wen you can't see exactly what is going on. Is there any way to get some game film so you can see for yourself? I'm of the "if you start an activity, you finish it" school of parenting, but there are exceptions to everything of course. Figuring out what they like often involves sticking things out even when things are tough initially. My daughter (9 1/2) joined the local swim team at the start of summer because many of her friends were on it. After the first day, she was put with the younger kids group because she wasn't good enough. She was crushed and wanted to quit immediately. We told her that she needed to finish the summer session and she wouldn't have to sign up again. She stuck with it, moved up a group and entered her first competition. She finished last in the freestyle and 30th out of 37 in the backstroke but was excited that she hung with the pack (most of the swimmers had been swimming in meets for the last two years or more). I was impressed at the vast improvement that she made in a short six week span. She actually chose to do the fall session and is excited for the next competition because she thinks she can do much better this time. This has happenned with a few different activities and every time she has ended up liking the activity in question (not saying she'll like everything she sticks out). Not being around to encourage your kid to try hard and have fun (and to see what's really happenning) must be frustrating. Good luck.

[Gumbyhawk]

Show him the Erin Andrews video and explain to him that she is a college football sideline reporter.


He will begin to see the big picture and be out there busting chops before you know it.

[Master Blaster]

I got on the phone and talked to them both, seems that even the coaches are worried about his survival according to the wife.
That being said, he is no longer in football. No sense in doing something he is not good at and might get hurt in. I am normally of the finish what you started mentality, however as with all things involving people, there are always exceptions to the rule. He has little skill in this sport. Good at soccer, not so much at football.
He did have to go explain to the coach by himself and face to face that he was quitting and why. Mom wasn't allowed to give a hand in that one.

Thought the dilemma was interesting, so posted it. the hardest part about the whole damn thing is that I have zero visibility of the situation. We are new to the area, don't really know anyone. And getting game films would take a couple of weeks in the mail as the streaming video is mostly prohibited on board. Me being out to sea all summer yet again is not exactly helping either. He can pick up sports in the spring when I am home. With retirement coming, at least I will be there for stuff.

[twine]

I'll bet talking to the coach was kind of tough on the little guy. Oh well, I guess he can just chalk it up to life experience.

[scotthawk]

Good move letting him quit if even the other coaches were worried about his safety. I'm still, generally, opposed to my kids quitting a sport part way through the season. I've never quit a job except in the case of quitting because I left town for college. Still with the same company I started with right out of college.....different jobs within the company tho.

[thunderhawk]

Soccer.

You might hate it. Your kid will love it.

I wasn't a very big kid. I played football, I was pretty good but the laws of physics were a motherfucker. Had soccer been available to me, I would have ditched the pads in the trash. It wasn't until I was in college that I realized that I could run indefinitely without getting tired.

Here's a general rule for life: Do what you're good at. Don't waste time trying be good at shit you're not designed for. As soon as you discover you're not designed for something, stop banging your head against the fucking wall and move on to your talents. If you're designed for something hell yes you should stick with it. If you're not you should drop it ASAP and move on to your strengths.

Soccer is the obvious answer for your kid. Buy him a Beckham poster for his room, a net for the backyard, and let it rip.

[twine]

Aug 21, 2009 10:19:53 GMT -6 thunderhawk said:

Here's a general rule for life: Do what you're good at. Don't waste time trying be good at shit you're not designed for. As soon as you discover you're not designed for something, stop banging your head against the fucking wall and move on to your talents. If you're designed for something hell yes you should stick with it. If you're not you should drop it ASAP and move on to your strengths.

Well put, mang.

[Master Blaster]

I don't hate soccer, he and his younger brother have played for years. I like the fact that aside from ocassional collisions, they are safer and less injury prone than other sports.
I like to see them live up to a commitment, but like stated above, it is important to recognize strengths and weaknesses and adjust accordingly. At least he went out and tried, for two weeks apparently got his butt handed to him. And he tried the whole time. Tells me a lot about his character, and I am very proud of him for the effort.

As for talking to the coach it might be tough but he needs to learn to accept responsibility for his decisions, even when they are difficult to make. Starting with this might mean that in the face of adversity later he sticks to his guns and integrity.

[TBELL]

Aug 20, 2009 11:15:50 GMT -6 lpcalihawk said:

Let 'em quit. For those parents who say they never let their kids quit anything they ever started, I hope you parents have never quit a job.

Why ruin the kid's perception of the sport by making him stick something out he obviously hates and isn't good at? Let the kid find something he enjoys and can excel at and you and your son will be better off.

This one.

[Master Blaster]

Last update - he explained to the coach that he quit with no problem. Then, he told the other boys on the team that he was quitting and that he wished them luck. He also told them that he would come back and watch a couple of games. Apparently that was the hard part for him, because the other kids were sad to see him stop. That bugged him.