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Post by NOTTHOR on Sept 8, 2009 15:10:40 GMT -6
Man, the freaking pisser lines at the tailgates were as bad as I can remember on Saturday. Why can't they come up with an innovative idea like these 4 man urinals that they put out in Amsterdam? They are barely bigger than the blue portapissers they put up and 4 dudes can piss at once, meaning the lines will move substantially faster. Of course, you'd probably want to modify them with a half door or something so that religio conservative types didn't feel uncomfortable seeing them around, but I think widescale implementation and replacement of 50% of the blue porta potties in circulation with these things would make the lines way shorter.  |
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Sept 8, 2009 20:53:33 GMT -6
WTF? I thought they just pissed in the alleys over there.
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Post by Solar Stud on Sept 15, 2009 9:32:08 GMT -6
W - O - O - D - S
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Sept 15, 2009 10:44:29 GMT -6
I get awfully nervous doing that in Iowa City. Fucking Gestapo is out everywhere. |
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Post by thunderhawk on Sept 15, 2009 10:53:53 GMT -6
Fearing the Gestapo? Open car door.
Stand behind car door. Keep a lookout.
Piss in cup (bottle/can if desperate)
Pour under car.
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Post by NotMyKid on Sept 15, 2009 10:58:01 GMT -6
This, now it's easy later in the season when the trees don't have any leaves for cover can make it a little more difficult but still doable. |
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Post by NOTTHOR on Sept 15, 2009 11:43:12 GMT -6
I get awfully nervous doing that in Iowa City. Fucking Gestapo is out everywhere. No doubt. I'm living on borrowed time on that one, too. The fact that I was able to close the valve and convince UH's finest that I was not urinating back in the woods the evening of the ASU game in 2003 is a fricking miracle. I ain't pressing my luck again. |
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Sept 15, 2009 21:08:16 GMT -6
Why do you guys care about getting caught pissing? Public urination tickets are cool! Best money I ever spent!  |
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Post by socal on Sept 15, 2009 22:35:15 GMT -6
Anybody not able to piss wherever / whenever needs to work on their misdirection skills.
Some tips on when to let it hang:
-You're kneeling to tie your shoe (must be a location sloped away, otherwise you piss on your knee)
-You're visiting the woods to slowly pour out a stale can of beer (hold the can proudly out and slowly pour while dangling --- can need not have beer in it... the sound & imagery are identical)
-You're checking your tie-downs (You and a buddy are on opposite sides of a car/van "working with" a piece of rope or a cooler on top of the vehicle... all the while pissing on or very close to the vehicle)
Hell, even toddler boys left out of their diaper-- master the art of running/walking and peeing. An adult should accomplish this fairly easily. If not, practice in the backyard/driveway.
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Post by thunderhawk on Sept 15, 2009 22:42:49 GMT -6
Anybody not able to piss wherever / whenever needs to work on their misdirection skills. Some tips on when to let it hang: -You're kneeling to tie your shoe (must be a location sloped away, otherwise you piss on your knee) -You're visiting the woods to slowly pour out a stale can of beer (hold the can proudly out and slowly pour while dangling --- can need not have beer in it... the sound & imagery are identical) -You're checking your tie-downs (You and a buddy are on opposite sides of a car/van "working with" a piece of rope or a cooler on top of the vehicle... all the while pissing on or very close to the vehicle) Hell, even toddler boys left out of their diaper-- master the art of running/walking and peeing. An adult should accomplish this fairly easily. If not, practice in the backyard/driveway. I used to walkpiss on the way home from the ped mall back in the day. No way the Gestapo can tell you're pissing while you're walking, especially in the dark. |
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Post by twine on Sept 16, 2009 0:03:02 GMT -6
Anybody not able to piss wherever / whenever needs to work on their misdirection skills. Some tips on when to let it hang: -You're kneeling to tie your shoe (must be a location sloped away, otherwise you piss on your knee) -You're visiting the woods to slowly pour out a stale can of beer (hold the can proudly out and slowly pour while dangling --- can need not have beer in it... the sound & imagery are identical) -You're checking your tie-downs (You and a buddy are on opposite sides of a car/van "working with" a piece of rope or a cooler on top of the vehicle... all the while pissing on or very close to the vehicle) Hell, even toddler boys left out of their diaper-- master the art of running/walking and peeing. An adult should accomplish this fairly easily. If not, practice in the backyard/driveway. I used to walkpiss on the way home from the ped mall back in the day. No way the Gestapo can tell you're pissing while you're walking, especially in the dark. I used to piss while walking down College St between Dodge and Lucas all the time when walking home. I remember one night when the bar was packed and there were about three people deep pushing against the bar for drinks I pissed all over the bar and nobody even noticed. |
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Post by NotMyKid on Sept 16, 2009 8:10:29 GMT -6
I used to walkpiss on the way home from the ped mall back in the day. No way the Gestapo can tell you're pissing while you're walking, especially in the dark. I used to piss while walking down College St between Dodge and Lucas all the time when walking home. I remember one night when the bar was packed and there were about three people deep pushing against the bar for drinks I pissed all over the bar and nobody even noticed. OK, time for one nasty ass urine story. So for those who grew up in or around IC knew that Vito's opened up on Christmas night (or at least used to not sure know) for all the college kids that were back in town for Christmas. It was a great way to see all of your buddies from HS and grade school and other friends that went to other local HS that you would only see on that night. It was always $20 (I think) cover with really cheap ass beer (maybe even free I can't remember) it was always packed to the gills with people so much so you couldn't even walk. Well one year I am hanging out with a group of friends from HS and others and we all realize that the line to the bathroom is way too long and there is no possible way that we are going to stand in line that long to pee. So a friend of a friend takes a pitcher off the ledge where we were standing and proceeded to pee into it and continue to carry on a conversation like nothing is going on. After another guy does it the pitcher is full so they pour it into some empty plastic cups sitting on the ledge and the pitcher is given to the next guy. Well the waitress comes around and asks if we want a few more pitcher we all agree and after she left realize that she took the pee pitcher. She comes back with two or three pitchers and sets them down, I ask her if these are our pitchers and she says yes, I say are you 100% sure that they are ours and she says yes again, I say NO ARE YOU 100% SURE THAT ONE OF THESE PITCHERS IS THE EXACT PITCHERS THAT YOU TOOK FROM US, she said she wasn't 100% sure but thought so. Needless to say we didn't drink the pitchers that she brought us and got new ones. I can't imagine how shitty it is to clean up a bar after closing but those nights were even worse since everyone was drinking out of plastic cups and pitchers, not to mention I am sure that we weren't the only people that decided not to wait in line for the bathroom. |
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Post by thunderhawk on Sept 16, 2009 20:42:45 GMT -6
I used to walkpiss on the way home from the ped mall back in the day. No way the Gestapo can tell you're pissing while you're walking, especially in the dark. I used to piss while walking down College St between Dodge and Lucas all the time when walking home. I remember one night when the bar was packed and there were about three people deep pushing against the bar for drinks I pissed all over the bar and nobody even noticed. I had a buddy who used to piss on the floor while sitting in the booth at the Airliner. He's a doctor now. A urologist, in fact. I'm not shitting you. God's honest truth, all of it. |
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Post by Hawkeyes1982 on Sept 17, 2009 9:38:38 GMT -6
lol. Nice!
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Sept 20, 2009 16:44:44 GMT -6
 Nice stories here, fellas!
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Sept 20, 2009 22:17:02 GMT -6
I pissed on the Cardinals stadium on a visit there. We were walking back from a bar, it was late, not many people around...I let let it flow. Normally the wife would have been pissed, but she realized it was for a good cause.
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Post by NotMyKid on Sept 21, 2009 8:26:08 GMT -6
I get awfully nervous doing that in Iowa City. Fucking Gestapo is out everywhere. No doubt. I'm living on borrowed time on that one, too. The fact that I was able to close the valve and convince UH's finest that I was not urinating back in the woods the evening of the ASU game in 2003 is a fricking miracle. I ain't pressing my luck again. UPDATE: So after visiting Ron and the boys (thanks for the Bud Heavy Seth!) I went back to my tailgate and had some food and more beers, well time to take a piss, head back into the woods as I am finishing up another guy from our tailgate is walking back there when 3 cops walk up to us. He tells us that it's a $290 fine for public urination, yadda, yadda, yadda and to use the port a johns. The guy doing all the talking leaves and one of the other cops says either that or make sure that we aren't around before you pee in the woods. No ticket but lesson learned.  |
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Post by NOTTHOR on Sept 21, 2009 8:43:38 GMT -6
Newsflash - I will be wearing a bagless external catheter with a tube running out my left pant leg for the Michigan game tailgating. Then I will be able to piss whenever I need to without a line.
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Sept 21, 2009 8:47:53 GMT -6
Newsflash - I will be wearing a bagless external catheter with a tube running out my left pant leg for the Michigan game tailgating. Then I will be able to piss whenever I need to without a line. Google 'Stadium Pal'. |
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Post by NOTTHOR on Sept 21, 2009 9:00:31 GMT -6
That's what I'm getting, but I wll not put the bag on it. The bag is way too small.
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