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Post by twine on Oct 9, 2009 8:43:00 GMT -6
I'm not trying to hijack the Customer Service Week Thread, but stupid corporate morale boosters continue throughout the year. Here is a thread intended for all of the Wasteland proles to give stories about pathetic attempts to boost morale.
I got an email this morning titled "LEADERSHIPCRAZYHAIRDAY!!!". They are pulling out all of the stops by having most of the middle management and some senior management either dye their hair or wear a wig to work on the 19th of this month. What a hoot!!! What will they think of next?!?!
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Post by Stukat on Oct 9, 2009 9:02:22 GMT -6
Oh oh hoh hah hah. Geez, that IS classic. Crazy hair day... WOW!
Makes it hard to dislike work when crazy shenanagans like that are a common occurance. Happy Days!
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Post by NOTTHOR on Oct 9, 2009 9:25:36 GMT -6
Hmm, what are ours? The Friday before the Super Bowl between the Bears and Colts, you could wear a Bears jersey to work. They took away jeans Fridays and then gave them back. They cut the lunch budget. They fired a bunch of people to motivate the remaining people. They got rid of the hard liquor at our happy hours (the firm hosts a happy hour every Friday from 5-7 but they took away the Scotch, Vodka, Jack, Jim and Tequilla and made it horribly boring by only offering beer and wine). They cancelled the boat cruise. I guess all in all, we don't really have any lame crap and the cancelling of the boat cruise was actually a good thing as it prevented people from getting stuck out on the Lake for three hours with our coworkers.
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Post by thunderhawk on Oct 9, 2009 10:19:20 GMT -6
Here's a novel fucking thought for morale boosting:
Raises and promotions. And a pleasant work environment.
It sucks sometimes being smarter than 99% of the population. It really does. You have to hide your contempt, and it grows tiresome.
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Post by twine on Oct 9, 2009 11:30:06 GMT -6
You have to hide your contempt, and it grows tiresome. Well put. |
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Post by thunderhawk on Oct 9, 2009 12:09:35 GMT -6
You have to hide your contempt, and it grows tiresome. Well put. I'm growing progressively inept at hiding it. |
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Post by germaine on Oct 10, 2009 11:57:52 GMT -6
We occasionally get mediocre cookies and apples (although sometimes we get the little 90 calorie chewy granola bars instead of cookies). A couple weeks ago they had some sort of fair thing where you could do some activities and throw pies at people who volunteered (mostly management)...but thanks to limited staffing ("going lean") on my project, I was the only one working on my project for most of that day and therefore couldn't participate.
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Post by socal on Oct 11, 2009 12:46:32 GMT -6
My recent job bought a popcorn stand/maker from Sam's. It was a nice treat to be sitting at your desk in the middle of the day - when the waft of freshly popped (and not burnt) popcorn wakes you up.
No time for lunch..... grab a few bags.
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Post by twine on Oct 11, 2009 12:54:04 GMT -6
I'm lobbying for a burnt popcorn morale booster day where the management overcooks popcorn for 3 minutes.
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Post by socal on Oct 11, 2009 13:05:55 GMT -6
Thought of another one..... Oreo meetings/parties
When I was in SoCal, the CEO/Founder was a crazy fucking witch with a paranoid napoleon complex. She had to be stroked at every given opportunity - or she thought people were plotting against her.
Whenever something good happened at the company (contract, etc.) a memo would go out company wide that it was time for another "Oreo meeting".
These meetings ALWAYS involved a retelling of the night when they made their first sale: There were 6 employees, and she wanted to celebrate. So she went to the vending machine to buy a cupcake to place a candle --- but there were only Oreos. So she bought a package and they celebrated by giving everyone a stale Oreo.
-The story is much more involved, names, dates, descriptions... but that's the gist. ---And it took about a half hour to tell.
In the beginning there were 3 facilities with about 250 total people. The facilities were all video conferenced in, and she could see whom wasn't paying attention. Over the next few years - there were 3 rounds of layoffs, so the meetings kept getting more pathetic. Yet, we all had to endure the retelling each and every time.
After a few years, there were only us "long" timers remaining, and we had all heard the story countless times. In addition, we knew how shitty the company was doing... so regaling us with this fucking story again, because a minor client renewed their contract for another year is annoying as fuck. At least we got an Oreo.
In the end, the pompous/psycho bitch was forced out by the board - and the board sold us to another company.
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Post by lpcalihawk on Oct 12, 2009 12:45:53 GMT -6
I recall an "Office Olympics" that I was a part of. Employees formed teams that competed in the evenings in things like bowling, putt-putt golf, regular golf, basketball, etc. It wasn't the worst idea ever as you got to see people outside of work let their hair down a bit. I did get pretty drunk on the golf course and made fun of my boss after he duffed a short chip shot. Luckily, there were no reprucussions.
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Post by thunderhawk on Oct 12, 2009 13:02:07 GMT -6
Thought of another one..... Oreo meetings/parties When I was in SoCal, the CEO/Founder was a crazy fucking witch with a paranoid napoleon complex. She had to be stroked at every given opportunity - or she thought people were plotting against her. Whenever something good happened at the company (contract, etc.) a memo would go out company wide that it was time for another "Oreo meeting". These meetings ALWAYS involved a retelling of the night when they made their first sale: There were 6 employees, and she wanted to celebrate. So she went to the vending machine to buy a cupcake to place a candle --- but there were only Oreos. So she bought a package and they celebrated by giving everyone a stale Oreo. -The story is much more involved, names, dates, descriptions... but that's the gist. ---And it took about a half hour to tell. In the beginning there were 3 facilities with about 250 total people. The facilities were all video conferenced in, and she could see whom wasn't paying attention. Over the next few years - there were 3 rounds of layoffs, so the meetings kept getting more pathetic. Yet, we all had to endure the retelling each and every time. After a few years, there were only us "long" timers remaining, and we had all heard the story countless times. In addition, we knew how shitty the company was doing... so regaling us with this fucking story again, because a minor client renewed their contract for another year is annoying as fuck. At least we got an Oreo. In the end, the pompous/psycho bitch was forced out by the board - and the board sold us to another company. That fucking whore was clinical. Certifiably mentally unstable. Retelling that story to the same people repeatedly indicates some pretty serious mental anomalies. How in the fuck does a nutcase like that ascend to and retain such a prominent post? The board was negligent in allowing that bitch to serve in such a position. The frailties of corporatism on red hot display. |
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Post by lpcalihawk on Oct 12, 2009 13:57:10 GMT -6
Thought of another one..... Oreo meetings/parties When I was in SoCal, the CEO/Founder was a crazy fucking witch with a paranoid napoleon complex. She had to be stroked at every given opportunity - or she thought people were plotting against her. Whenever something good happened at the company (contract, etc.) a memo would go out company wide that it was time for another "Oreo meeting". These meetings ALWAYS involved a retelling of the night when they made their first sale: There were 6 employees, and she wanted to celebrate. So she went to the vending machine to buy a cupcake to place a candle --- but there were only Oreos. So she bought a package and they celebrated by giving everyone a stale Oreo. -The story is much more involved, names, dates, descriptions... but that's the gist. ---And it took about a half hour to tell. In the beginning there were 3 facilities with about 250 total people. The facilities were all video conferenced in, and she could see whom wasn't paying attention. Over the next few years - there were 3 rounds of layoffs, so the meetings kept getting more pathetic. Yet, we all had to endure the retelling each and every time. After a few years, there were only us "long" timers remaining, and we had all heard the story countless times. In addition, we knew how shitty the company was doing... so regaling us with this fucking story again, because a minor client renewed their contract for another year is annoying as fuck. At least we got an Oreo. In the end, the pompous/psycho bitch was forced out by the board - and the board sold us to another company. That fucking whore was clinical. Certifiably mentally unstable. Retelling that story to the same people repeatedly indicates some pretty serious mental anomalies. How in the fuck does a nutcase like that ascend to and retain such a prominent post? The board was negligent in allowing that bitch to serve in such a position. The frailties of corporatism on red hot display. Its possible to suck dick in order to climb the corporate ladder.....just ask BTR |
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Post by NOTTHOR on Oct 12, 2009 14:08:28 GMT -6
Wrongo lp, I have morals and will draw the line at a tug.
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Post by lpcalihawk on Oct 12, 2009 14:18:05 GMT -6
Wrongo lp, I have morals and will draw the line at a tug. Will just a tug get your double porterhouse lunches back? I don't think so, you better re-think your "tug" position. |
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Post by socal on Oct 12, 2009 15:07:38 GMT -6
That fucking whore was clinical. Certifiably mentally unstable. Retelling that story to the same people repeatedly indicates some pretty serious mental anomalies. How in the fuck does a nutcase like that ascend to and retain such a prominent post? The board was negligent in allowing that bitch to serve in such a position. The frailties of corporatism on red hot display. Its possible to suck dick in order to climb the corporate ladder.....just ask BTR The story goes that she was "harrassed" at a previous workplace. Sued and got a nice settlement. With that settlement she began buying companies - which became the foundation I worked for. Why anybody would want to harass her is beyond me. Another example of her paranoia. She left a perfume vapor trail wherever she walked. So you would know if she was in an area within the last 5 minutes.... Anyways, our offices in Long Beach had underground parking with a 2-3 foot gap around the perimeter before the first floor started. You could stand in the garage and look up skirts if you timed it right. She got in the habit of sneaking into the garage when other executives went out for a smoke break, and would eavesdrop on their conversations from a covert place in the basement. This often coincided with my return from lunch, so one day I smelled the the vapor trail... peeped around the corner while waiting on the elevator (saw her), and promptly told the smokers that the ashtrays had ears. |
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Post by TBELL on Oct 12, 2009 23:58:18 GMT -6
We get left over food from almost any meeting that takes place in our conference room, any Fire Department that has an ice cream social, chili supper, pot roast or whatever brings us left-overs. Left overs is what we get. Oh, and we have "casual friday" where we can wear shorts that go below our knees or the ladies can wear capri pants. Friday is my day off so I don't get to participate.
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Post by socal on Oct 13, 2009 6:30:46 GMT -6
We get left over food from almost any meeting that takes place in our conference room, any Fire Department that has an ice cream social, chili supper, pot roast or whatever brings us left-overs. Left overs is what we get. Oh, and we have "casual friday" where we can wear shorts that go below our knees or the ladies can wear capri pants. Friday is my day off so I don't get to participate. I don't recall the last time I've read something so tragically sad. |
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Oct 16, 2009 20:19:45 GMT -6
Competing with your co-workers on the Wii that gets brought to the office once in a blue moon.
Cool or not cool? I have yet to sign up for Wii bowling. Mostly because I barely have time to take a piss much less fuck around on a video game console designed for 6 year olds and head trauma patients. But I might if it is deemed cool. What says the board?
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Post by germaine on Oct 17, 2009 19:05:04 GMT -6
Holy crap...do Gumby and I work for the same company?
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Oct 17, 2009 19:36:05 GMT -6
Holy crap...do Gumby and I work for the same company? Possibly. Do you work for an insurance company in Des Moines? |
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Post by germaine on Oct 17, 2009 21:59:24 GMT -6
I do not.
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Post by Justhawks17 on Oct 18, 2009 9:22:01 GMT -6
We had a golf outing a month ago. Thats basically it for anything we do. Not sure how the fuck they can afford it oh wait we had to pay half of it lol. Nevermind. I should start looking for a new job. Shit pay and the president of the company is a freaken moron. She does nothing but types emails all day. Thats literally all she does.
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Oct 19, 2009 18:55:19 GMT -6
Best morale booster of all: I got NO new work today. None. No, I don't think this means that I am soon out the door. I guess they are having some different chick handle the assigning of work and well, she must have forgot about me today or something. All I know is.... I ain't saying shit. I still have enough work to get a full day in PLUS overtime, so I know when to keep my fucking mouth shut. But you would think people would notice that I was in a much better mood today... especially for a Monday.  |
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Oct 20, 2009 12:44:00 GMT -6
I got a pay cut. That was my fucking morale boost.
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