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Post by twine on Jul 16, 2010 10:00:57 GMT -6
There's this girl I went to high school with who I've been talking with lately, she's super hot, funny as hell, and Tool is her favorite band. The only thing holding her back from being perfect is she has a two year old son. I'm considering courting her more aggressively if I don't move, is this a good idea?
What says the Wasteland?
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Post by The Bluzmn on Jul 16, 2010 10:53:35 GMT -6
My first wife had a boy just getting ready to turn 2 when I met her. She is long gone (divorced in 1990), but my son who is now 32 still remains. I raised him as my own and he has never sought out his real father who saw him once, BTW, when he was a few months old.
Is that choice for everybody? Probably not, but it worked out for me.
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Post by poncho72 on Jul 16, 2010 11:29:15 GMT -6
The hardest thing would be getting attached to the kid and it didn't work out with the girlfriend.
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Jul 16, 2010 11:41:42 GMT -6
That's a tough one dude.
I say just feel it out. Hang out with her...take it real slow. If it feels right, and you think she's the one - don't let the kid be the deal breaker. But like I said, I'd take it extra slow.
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Post by hawkeyedug on Jul 16, 2010 11:58:04 GMT -6
It is 100% a personal decision. For me it is a deal breaker. I still haven't decided if I ever want to have my own. I sure as hell don't want one that belongs to someone else.
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Jul 16, 2010 12:17:50 GMT -6
It is 100% a personal decision. For me it is a deal breaker. I still haven't decided if I ever want to have my own. I sure as hell don't want one that belongs to someone else. Fair point. Twine it also would depend about if you want kids or not... |
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Post by twine on Jul 16, 2010 12:42:13 GMT -6
It is 100% a personal decision. For me it is a deal breaker. I still haven't decided if I ever want to have my own. I sure as hell don't want one that belongs to someone else. Fair point. Twine it also would depend about if you want kids or not... I do but I've never been in a hurry to have them. I'm not about to start thinking too far ahead though. Plus, I have a stepmom and a stepdad. My stepmom is one of my favorite people and my stepdad is an asshole. I'm not about to consider marrying this girl or anything but I was just wondering what you guys thought about the topic, not looking for advice. If I did end up thinking she was the shit, or the one, or whatever I wouldn't be opposed to helping her raise a kid as long as she'd have one of my own. I wouldn't mind showing my stepdad there are better ways to be a stepparent rather than being a complete dick. I did date a girl last year with a couple kids and she was awesome but had her tubes tied and no longer is able to have kids and that was a deal breaker for sure. |
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Post by Master Blaster on Jul 16, 2010 13:00:09 GMT -6
Before I was married, I dated a girl with a 7/8 year old son. Took him fishing, movies, out, etc. Felt guilty when she was driving me nuts that I was letting the kid down by breaking up with her. I liked the kid more than her in the end. That being said, I wouldn't go back and change things or do it differently. It made my mind up that I wanted kids one day. Just had to find the right woman. If you like her, date her. You'll learn about yourself as well. Just remember that single mom's are watching carefully on how you handle the kid. Think about that part before going in and talk to her about discipline IRT the 2 year old. Will pay off in the end.
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Jul 16, 2010 13:22:54 GMT -6
Fair point. Twine it also would depend about if you want kids or not... I do but I've never been in a hurry to have them. I'm not about to start thinking too far ahead though. Plus, I have a stepmom and a stepdad. My stepmom is one of my favorite people and my stepdad is an asshole. I'm not about to consider marrying this girl or anything but I was just wondering what you guys thought about the topic, not looking for advice. If I did end up thinking she was the shit, or the one, or whatever I wouldn't be opposed to helping her raise a kid as long as she'd have one of my own. I wouldn't mind showing my stepdad there are better ways to be a stepparent rather than being a complete dick. I did date a girl last year with a couple kids and she was awesome but had her tubes tied and no longer is able to have kids and that was a deal breaker for sure. Well if that's the case, what's the difference? Just get laid.  |
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Post by Stukat on Jul 16, 2010 14:55:00 GMT -6
damn, i had a nice response all typed up. Accidently deleted it. its too bad the world will never hear that wisdom.
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Jul 16, 2010 17:16:09 GMT -6
I agree it's a personal decision and to go slow.
When I met my wife my now stepson was just 2 years old. It's worked out well, but it's certainly not for everyone.
Just keep an open mind and take things easy.
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Post by thejesus on Jul 18, 2010 12:11:54 GMT -6
If she has a kid, you can rest assured that she puts out. It's 100% guaranteed.
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Post by Solar Stud on Jul 18, 2010 15:16:44 GMT -6
How would you potential move westward play into this?
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Post by Solar Stud on Jul 18, 2010 15:17:18 GMT -6
If she has a kid, you can rest assured that she puts out. It's 100% guaranteed. Maybe not if another star arose in the East. |
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Post by MoHawk on Jul 18, 2010 17:55:48 GMT -6
I think you've got your answer here Twine. Take the situation slowly, remembering that you need to calculate the boy into each decision that is made about the relationship. Also, you should develop a relationship with the boy, assuming that a relationship will develop on its own would be a mistake IMO. The bottom line in all of this is if she makes you happy, and the boy makes you happy, there's nothing to fear.
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Post by twine on Jul 18, 2010 22:00:00 GMT -6
How would you potential move westward play into this? She is aware of the potential move and it would be a deal breaker. I hung out with her quite a bit this weekend and the girl is fucking awesome. She's beautiful, funny, smart, has a good job, and she's into me. I hung out with her little dude and he took quite a liking to me as well and I could tell she was really liking how me and him interacted. If I don't get the job I think I'm going to put a solid effort into making something work with her. I did take you guy's advice on taking it slow and easy. I slept with her both Friday and Saturday but didn't try getting into her pants at all and I think she really respected that I didn't. A lot of the time if I'm at the point where I am in bed with a girl I go for the jugular and bone her or get a little disappointed if it doesn't happen but that wasn't even on my mind with this one. Just laying around with her and shooting the poop was plenty to make me happy. |
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Jul 18, 2010 23:21:40 GMT -6
How would you potential move westward play into this? She is aware of the potential move and it would be a deal breaker. I hung out with her quite a bit this weekend and the girl is fucking awesome. She's beautiful, funny, smart, has a good job, and she's into me. I hung out with her little dude and he took quite a liking to me as well and I could tell she was really liking how me and him interacted. If I don't get the job I think I'm going to put a solid effort into making something work with her. I did take you guy's advice on taking it slow and easy. I slept with her both Friday and Saturday but didn't try getting into her pants at all and I think she really respected that I didn't. A lot of the time if I'm at the point where I am in bed with a girl I go for the jugular and bone her or get a little disappointed if it doesn't happen but that wasn't even on my mind with this one. Just laying around with her and shooting the poop was plenty to make me happy. Wow...sounds good. But you might have one hell of a decision if the news on the job drags out, and things continue to go well with this gal. |
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Post by NotMyKid on Jul 19, 2010 9:45:07 GMT -6
If she has a kid, you can rest assured that she puts out. It's 100% guaranteed. This is true! I "dated" a girl that had a 5 year old son (at the time) it really wasn't that serious. We hung out quite a bit but didn't really get to involved with the kid. And the above was true with her. In the end I broke things off before they got to serious, I don't want to say the kid was a deal breaker but it did play a part. At the time it was a big deal (I was in my mid 20's) if it was now I don't think it would have been as big of a deal. If you like her that much then I don't think it's that huge of a deal however I would make sure that every time you hang out the kid isn't always around, the last thing you want to do is confuse the kid and it will make it that much harder to break things off if and when that happens or worse think Jerry Maguire. I would just be careful a breakup can be tough enough on the two people in the relationship, and even worse when a kid is involved. |
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Post by Solar Stud on Jul 19, 2010 18:29:41 GMT -6
How would you potential move westward play into this? She is aware of the potential move and it would be a deal breaker. I hung out with her quite a bit this weekend and the girl is fucking awesome. She's beautiful, funny, smart, has a good job, and she's into me. I hung out with her little dude and he took quite a liking to me as well and I could tell she was really liking how me and him interacted. If I don't get the job I think I'm going to put a solid effort into making something work with her. I did take you guy's advice on taking it slow and easy. I slept with her both Friday and Saturday but didn't try getting into her pants at all and I think she really respected that I didn't. A lot of the time if I'm at the point where I am in bed with a girl I go for the jugular and bone her or get a little disappointed if it doesn't happen but that wasn't even on my mind with this one. Just laying around with her and shooting the poop was plenty to make me happy. So what you're telling us indirectly is you rubbed a couple off, on Saturday and Sunday mornings? ;D |
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Post by poncho72 on Jul 19, 2010 19:39:49 GMT -6
How would you potential move westward play into this? She is aware of the potential move and it would be a deal breaker. I hung out with her quite a bit this weekend and the girl is fucking awesome. She's beautiful, funny, smart, has a good job, and she's into me. I hung out with her little dude and he took quite a liking to me as well and I could tell she was really liking how me and him interacted. If I don't get the job I think I'm going to put a solid effort into making something work with her. I did take you guy's advice on taking it slow and easy. I slept with her both Friday and Saturday but didn't try getting into her pants at all and I think she really respected that I didn't. A lot of the time if I'm at the point where I am in bed with a girl I go for the jugular and bone her or get a little disappointed if it doesn't happen but that wasn't even on my mind with this one. Just laying around with her and shooting the poop was plenty to make me happy. I gotta hand it to you Twine, mighty impressive. I would have screwed it all up on Friday night. |
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Post by thejesus on Jul 19, 2010 20:04:44 GMT -6
How would you potential move westward play into this? A lot of the time if I'm at the point where I am in bed with a girl I go for the jugular and bone her or get a little disappointed if it doesn't happen but that wasn't even on my mind with this one. Just laying around with her and shooting the poop was plenty to make me happy. I know this feeling dude. First step in falling for someone ... |
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Jul 27, 2010 8:05:00 GMT -6
Twine,
any updates here?
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Post by twine on Jul 27, 2010 9:35:48 GMT -6
Yeah, it's actually going really well with this girl. I went up to see her over the weekend and her ma babysat so we could go do whatever we wanted. I like this girl more than any I've dated over the last three years that I've been single and other than living in Cedar Rapids (shithole of a city, btw) I can't think of anything bad to say about her. She's absolutely gorgeous, has a bright future ahead of her, and I she wouldn't even be offended by things I've posted on here because she has the same sense of humor as I do. At this point I just hope nothing happens to change things because I have a real good feeling about this one. Most bitches want you to be someone other than who you really are and you have to filter your thoughts around them and "conform" to their ways to some degree. I don't have that problem with this one though. I also don't mind that she has a kid either, if nothing else it gives more options on what to do. Who knows what will happen but I'm wanting things to work with this one. |
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Jul 27, 2010 10:30:50 GMT -6
Sounds like an awesome start. So when can I meet her so I can judge her?  |
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Post by twine on Jul 27, 2010 10:32:11 GMT -6
Sounds like an awesome start. So when can I meet her so I can judge her? She's going to come up once I get moved into my new place. If it doesn't go to shit by then, that is. |
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