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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Jul 20, 2010 12:38:08 GMT -6
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Post by NotMyKid on Jul 20, 2010 12:54:49 GMT -6
Fucking Bullshit!
Request denied by WatchGuard HTTP proxy.
Reason: one or more categories denied helper='WebBlocker.9' details='Tasteless & Offensive'
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Method: GET
Host: dontevenreply.com
Path: /top.php
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Post by twine on Jul 20, 2010 14:12:10 GMT -6
Blocked here at work. I think I read these before and they are pretty damned funny.
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Jul 20, 2010 14:21:17 GMT -6
I wish I could copy and paste for you guys, but there's quite a few pictures that are detrimental the humor. It's funny enough where I'd check it out at your home computer.
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Jul 20, 2010 14:42:12 GMT -6
Fat Bitch Won't Ride the Bus
Posted at: 2009-06-15 17:08:40
Original ad:
im looking for ride from the philadelphia area to pittsburgh next friday. i will split the cost of gas with you. I am female, and would prefer to ride with another female or young(21-ish) person.
From Mike Anderson to ************@*********.org
Hey! I am going to Pittsburgh and can give you a ride. Can you meet me at 30th St. Station 11 AM on Friday? By the way, I'm 21, so you don't have to worry about riding with some old creeper.
Mike
From Melanie ******** to Me
hey mike! that sounds good. how much do you want for gas? let me get your number so we can work out the details
From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
Melanie,
I was thinking around $70 should cover it. Unfortunately I do not have a cell phone because I accidentally forgot to take my pants off when I was taking a bath last night and forgot my cell phone was in the pocket. It won't turn on! Could you just stand outside of the west entrance with a sign that says "I'm Melanie" ? I'll look for you.
Mike
From Melanie ******** to Me
wow i wasnt expecting to pay $70! why so much? i was thinking more around 30-35 bucks! also im not standing out there with a sign lol.
From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
Melanie, I'm sorry but the price is not negotiable. Unfortunately the cheapest bus ticket is $70. Do you want to just meet me on the bus if you don't want to stand out there with a sign?
From Melanie ******** to Me
what?! i didnt want to ride a bus! i thought you were driving a car to pittsburgh. wtf dude
From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
Well shit Melanie, I didn't think you would be so picky about what kind of vehicle you wanted to ride in. If price is an issue, I can sneak you on the bus. I've done it before with my son. I have a duffel bag that is pretty big, and you can just hide inside it and not move and they will load you under the bus. I'll make sure that they put you on top of all the other luggage so you aren't crushed. You can have my video ipod to stay entertained during the bus ride. It has the first season of Deadwood on it. You aren't fat, are you? I don't want the bag to rip from underneath when they lift it up.
Mike
From Melanie ******** to Me
are you fucking with me? this has to be a joke. there is no fucking way im doing that
From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
Oh, you aren't a Deadwood fan? I think I have the Ben Affleck hit "Gigli" on my iPod if you wanted to watch that instead.
From Melanie ******** to Me
NO! IM NOT SNEAKING ON TO THE FUCKING BUS IN A GODDAMN SUITCASE
From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
Okay, I didn't realize you were so sensitive about your weight. If you can't fit in the duffel bag that's fine. I just went and ordered you the bus ticket. It is pretty much first-come first-serve for seating on the bus. You can sit next to me if you want, but I want the window seat. I also have to get up a lot to pee so you will have to get up so I can squeeze out.
From Melanie ******** to Me
IM NOT RIDING THE BUS! I'LL FIND ANOTHER RIDE
From Mike Anderson to Melanie ********
Well you owe me $70 for the ticket! I can't return it!
From Melanie ******** to Me
I NEVER SAID TO BUY IT! THAT IS YOUR FAULT DUDE GOODBYE
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Jul 20, 2010 15:00:09 GMT -6
Hybrids Suck
Posted at: 2009-06-23 09:18:12
Original ad:
if anyone wants a ride from baltimore to nyc tomorow let me know! i am driving up there sometime tomorow afternoon and would be glad to help someone out if they want to throw up some money for gas. i drive a hybrid, so i wont need much!
From Mike Partlow to *************@*********.org
Hello,
I do need a ride to New York tomorrow. That would be great. My only concern is the fact that you drive a hybrid car. I don't want to give people the idea that I care about the environment. Do you have another, more manly car that we could ride up in? I really don't want to be seen in a hybrid. I'll gladly compensate you for gas.
Mike
From christine ********* to Me
no all i have is my hybrid. what is the big deal, who cares what people think? u should be glad to help the enviroment!
From Mike Partlow to christine **********
I'm sorry Christine but it isn't the 60's anymore. People aren't a bunch of earth-saving hippies that run around and hug trees anymore. Does your car have tinted windows? I really don't want to be seen riding in that bitch-mobile. My only request is that you stop by a lake somewhere so I can dump a can of motor oil in it, to make up for all of the earth that your car will be saving. Don't worry, I'll pay for the motor oil.
Mike
From christine ********* to Me
wtf is wrong with u! im not giving u a ride ur a jerk!!!
From Mike Partlow to christine **********
Well I am sorry you won't have the privilege of riding with me. Fortunately for me, I found a better, more badass ride to NYC. I'll be sure to wave at your crappy little hybrid as we pass you in our F-350, spraying cans of aerosol out the window and throwing empty six-pack holders into the sea.
Mike
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Post by idrinkthereforeiam on Jul 20, 2010 19:32:35 GMT -6
Holy shit. My night is spent. Nice find.
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