Crazy shit at work yesterday.

[twine]

So, yesterday at work this woman called in to take all of her money out of her account. After talking to her a bit she was getting a little emotional and when I was asking her about what to do about tax withholding and whatnot she said "It doesn't matter" and how she "won't be around then anyway" and things of that nature.

Eventually I kind of pried to what was going on in her head and it became apparent that she was planning on offing herself. Anyway, after a while she explained to me her plan to take the money out of all her retirement accounts, cash the checks, then blow her brains out.

After talking with her for about an hour I was able to get her to decide to keep living. I spoke to her like an ametuer shrink, which is something I am pretty good at in regard to this situation considering the unfortunate experience with people killing themselves.

In the end, she only took out $5000 and withheld taxes. She said she was going to use the money to see a shrink and maybe take a little vaca. I'd go into more detail about the conversation but you get the gist of it. I felt pretty good about the whole thing after it was over since I practically saved this woman's life and retained about $20,000 worth of assets (not a lot but, hey, fuck it).

It was pretty fucking crazy to say the least. She was basically crying telling me how she couldn't believe someone actually gave enough of a shit to prevent her from killing herself.

Poor woman, she's still probably crazy, hopefully not dead and willing to better herself.

[NOTTHOR]

Do you want to get into management someday? If so, feel free to use the following in your self-evaluation next year:

On July 27, 2010, a client called in seeking to withdraw her entire account. When I advised her of the adverse tax implications of doing so, she indicated that "she wouldn't be around by the time her taxes were due anyway." I ran a quick check to ensure she had not purchased any of our insurance products, because if she had, I would have instructed our sister insurance companies to "lose" one of her payments and terminate all policies immediately. After determining that she had not purchased any of our products, I asked her why she wouldn't be around in a year and she made statements to me indicating that she was suicidal. I talked to her briefly and was able to convince her to lower the amount of her withdrawal from $25,000 to $5,000, leaving us with $20,000 in assets under management. I then put a freeze on the account so the assets couldn't be withdrawn and changed her beneficiary on her account from some random dude to "my estate." I anticipate the probate process will take some time and the assets will remain under management for at least 3 more years due to my actions. At our standard 1.5% fee, my quick thinking generated at least $900 in revenue for the Company.

Trust me pal, those are the kinds of reviews that management is made of. Go for the gold.

[NotMyKid]

BTR- very funny and sadly true.

Twine- great story and very cool something to feel very good about.

[TBELL]

That's very cool twine...nice work!! If you interested...Look County Dispatch is hiring very soon!!

[TBELL]

That should read Polk...sorry...new phone!

[hawkeyedug]

Trav. Did you have to take a test prior to your dispatcher interview. Before I started back at school I applied for a dispatcher job in Cedar Rapids. I think you needed to score 80 on it to pass and I only got a 79. It blew my mind that I didn't pass. I have never not passed a test in my life, and always scored ridiculously high on standardized tests.. I think only 2 people passed it. The first 20 or so questions were pretty much impossible. Before the test you were read 7 or 8 fake calls, with names, phone numbers addresses, and details of the calls. It took 10-15 minutes to read everything. Then you were supposed to recall the details such as what was the address that mrs. davis gave you a) 8415 johnson b) 8415 oak c)1532 elm d) 1939 keokuk. Keep in mind that you were given several different addresses, numbers, names, colors, license plate numbers, and types of calls. I don't know how anyone was supposed to keep that straight. Especially when you don't know at all what to expect going in because they sure as hell aren't going to tell you.

[TBELL]

Yes, we have a similar test, but this round will be the first time we use it. Before it was a written, this time we are going to use actual calls that came in to our center, you would listen to the call, answer questions about it, and move on to the next. They aren't going to make you listen to them all before answering questions.