Hox lose? Not the worst thing to happen to me yesterday.
Sept 1, 2013 8:15:41 GMT -6
Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith), twine, and 1 more like this
Post by GhostMod 5000 on Sept 1, 2013 8:15:41 GMT -6
Listening to all these fagts bitch and moan about Kurt and teh Hox and all this bullshit pisses me off, because it's stupid fucking football. That shit don't matter, and some people have real problems. Liek me. Listen to teh bullshit that befell me yesterday, and maybe stop complaining about Gerg Derpvis and the rest of this shit.
So I settle into mah couch after teh Hox loss, and cooked up some chicken and Hebrew National dawgs on the grill, had a nice alcoholic beverage, and was watching the Geowgia-Clemson game and feeling pretty damned good about myself. I gets teh text from a buddy that he wants to go have drinks somewhere. I'm thinking, WTH, why not. I only gots one game on TV, we can go to a bar and watch a bunch, including teh NW game, which cableless proles such as me could not watch. However, he also sent the same text to meine Frau, who proceeds to arrange a whole thing, not just with him, but his fiance as well. Again, no big deal, since she's cool, but d00ds watching football and drinking beer has morphed into a couples night.
We head out teh door, and they'll text us with a destination. I swear, the only reason they did this is because I would have nevar left the house if I knew where we were going. We went to a fucking wine lounge boys. A fucking wine lounge that doesn't show fucking sports on fucking TV on the first fucking Saturday of CFB. To make matter worse, instead of football, we are treated to....
I'm sorry, this is hard for me to talk about. It is such a vortex of fail, it's hard to explain in words.
There was a musician. Not just any musician, a "Singer-Songwriter". Not just any singer-songwriter, a female, middle-aged, lesbian with an acoustic guitar, a leather bracelet, and a blue streak in her hair. It was seriously the fucking Powerball combination of horrible shit I would nevar want to see. And not just that! She fucking sucked! She was an excellent guitar player, but she just did a Melissa Etheridge impersonation for three hours, grunting and moaning through terrible original songs, and even worse, lame ass arrangements of classic rick standards. Guess what bitch, Blackbird is a perfect song as it is. You don't get to try and maek it your by singing the words a half measure late.
Now, a little bit about myself. Not unliek Atomic Blue, I have hearing difficulties. The only time they really manifest is when I am in a room with loud music. Well, it just so happens I was sitting 6 feet away from the Queen of the Bulldykes and her six string, so I had msic blasting in mah ear all night. As a result, I couldn't carry on, or participate in a conversation with anyone else. I would see people moving their mouths and laughing, but all I heard was a terrible, off tempo acoustic version of "Me and Bobby McGee" sung by a chinless, 5 foot troll who is dressed liek the extra in a drug awareness video from the late 80's. Basically, I was trapped. I had no one to talk to, no football to watch, and was pulverized with shitty, amataer folk rock for hours.
I wanted to maek my wife leave early, but then she went and bought a $47 bottle of wine, and I was going to maek damn sure she fucking drank it all. I was stuck in a place where mah natural cheapness wanted me to stay, but mah natural saneness wanted me to leave. I tried helping her drink it, but it was fucking terrible Reisling, but I did what I could.
Anyways, TL;DR, so here's a video of the horrible lesbo singing. Two+ hours of this, plus her explaining the songs and telling jokes. Oh, and she came and talked to us during her break!
So I settle into mah couch after teh Hox loss, and cooked up some chicken and Hebrew National dawgs on the grill, had a nice alcoholic beverage, and was watching the Geowgia-Clemson game and feeling pretty damned good about myself. I gets teh text from a buddy that he wants to go have drinks somewhere. I'm thinking, WTH, why not. I only gots one game on TV, we can go to a bar and watch a bunch, including teh NW game, which cableless proles such as me could not watch. However, he also sent the same text to meine Frau, who proceeds to arrange a whole thing, not just with him, but his fiance as well. Again, no big deal, since she's cool, but d00ds watching football and drinking beer has morphed into a couples night.
We head out teh door, and they'll text us with a destination. I swear, the only reason they did this is because I would have nevar left the house if I knew where we were going. We went to a fucking wine lounge boys. A fucking wine lounge that doesn't show fucking sports on fucking TV on the first fucking Saturday of CFB. To make matter worse, instead of football, we are treated to....
I'm sorry, this is hard for me to talk about. It is such a vortex of fail, it's hard to explain in words.
There was a musician. Not just any musician, a "Singer-Songwriter". Not just any singer-songwriter, a female, middle-aged, lesbian with an acoustic guitar, a leather bracelet, and a blue streak in her hair. It was seriously the fucking Powerball combination of horrible shit I would nevar want to see. And not just that! She fucking sucked! She was an excellent guitar player, but she just did a Melissa Etheridge impersonation for three hours, grunting and moaning through terrible original songs, and even worse, lame ass arrangements of classic rick standards. Guess what bitch, Blackbird is a perfect song as it is. You don't get to try and maek it your by singing the words a half measure late.
Now, a little bit about myself. Not unliek Atomic Blue, I have hearing difficulties. The only time they really manifest is when I am in a room with loud music. Well, it just so happens I was sitting 6 feet away from the Queen of the Bulldykes and her six string, so I had msic blasting in mah ear all night. As a result, I couldn't carry on, or participate in a conversation with anyone else. I would see people moving their mouths and laughing, but all I heard was a terrible, off tempo acoustic version of "Me and Bobby McGee" sung by a chinless, 5 foot troll who is dressed liek the extra in a drug awareness video from the late 80's. Basically, I was trapped. I had no one to talk to, no football to watch, and was pulverized with shitty, amataer folk rock for hours.
I wanted to maek my wife leave early, but then she went and bought a $47 bottle of wine, and I was going to maek damn sure she fucking drank it all. I was stuck in a place where mah natural cheapness wanted me to stay, but mah natural saneness wanted me to leave. I tried helping her drink it, but it was fucking terrible Reisling, but I did what I could.
Anyways, TL;DR, so here's a video of the horrible lesbo singing. Two+ hours of this, plus her explaining the songs and telling jokes. Oh, and she came and talked to us during her break!
