leonbt
Prostate Massager
Posts: 132
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Post by leonbt on Apr 17, 2008 21:19:53 GMT -6
How do blind people know when to stop wiping after a shit?
If your deaf and she only says "no" does it count?
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Post by NOTTHOR on Apr 18, 2008 7:14:29 GMT -6
1) I beleive the phrase "That doesn't pass the smell test" came from a blind guy whilst wiping.
2) Tough call. I'd refer you back to the question, "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a noise?" I'd say the guy walks. Save the state some cash. How much would it end up costing incarcerating a deaf person?
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Post by idrinkthereforeiam on Apr 18, 2008 7:44:46 GMT -6
Um, wipe and get off the pot???
Are you telling me you look at your toilet paper after you wipe? Pretty sick, Chubbs.
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leonbt
Prostate Massager
Posts: 132
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Post by leonbt on Apr 18, 2008 7:59:52 GMT -6
Um, wipe and get off the pot??? Are you telling me you look at your toilet paper after you wipe? Pretty sick, Chubbs. You gotta verify at the end man |
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Apr 18, 2008 8:09:29 GMT -6
Um, wipe and get off the pot??? Are you telling me you look at your toilet paper after you wipe? Pretty sick, Chubbs. Uh... you DON'T??? WTF?? So, you don't mind the occasional mud-butt then?  |
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Post by Solar Stud on Apr 18, 2008 8:13:41 GMT -6
They obviously have somebody else wipe for them, then gives them a verbal "thumbs up" when the TP turns from brown to white.
True story...I had a kid in my HS graduating class who was sniffing oxygen in order to get high, lit a cig, and the O2 tank blew up. He lost both his hands as a result.
He proceeded to venture down the dark side, and was always in trouble with the law...drinking, scaring kids at Halloween, etc. He went to our local jail many times for all sorts of things.
The many times he ended up in the clink, the local sheriff officers always drew straws to see who had to wipe his butt while he was confined.
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Post by idrinkthereforeiam on Apr 18, 2008 8:27:26 GMT -6
Um, wipe and get off the pot??? Are you telling me you look at your toilet paper after you wipe? Pretty sick, Chubbs. Uh... you DON'T??? WTF?? So, you don't mind the occasional mud-butt then? Fuuck no. I am not looking at my TP. If you can get all the shit off your ass in a couple wipes, then you need to go back to wiping school. Plus, kick ass: www.charmin.com/en_us/pages/prod_fresh.shtmlSeriously, though, do you wipe and then lift your ass to look at the TP? WTF?!?!?!? |
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Apr 18, 2008 8:38:27 GMT -6
Uh... you DON'T??? WTF?? So, you don't mind the occasional mud-butt then? Fuuck no. I am not looking at my TP. If you can get all the shit off your ass in a couple wipes, then you need to go back to wiping school. Plus, kick ass: www.charmin.com/en_us/pages/prod_fresh.shtmlSeriously, though, do you wipe and then lift your ass to look at the TP? WTF?!?!?!? I do not like mud butt. Yes, I look. I do not have mud butt. That is all.  |
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Post by NOTTHOR on Apr 18, 2008 8:42:01 GMT -6
I take a look at what I presume to be the last wipe. If it's brown, go back down.
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Post by bucketochicken on Apr 18, 2008 8:47:07 GMT -6
'Zackly. Seems like an awfully big gamble to skip the visual verification.
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Post by NOTTHOR on Apr 18, 2008 8:48:33 GMT -6
'Zackly. Seems like an awfully big gamble to skip the visual verification. And a gamble that has no payoff. You don't look, you pull up, then realize you missed something, you got a long day of discomfort ahead of you and a pissed off old lady to boot. |
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Post by Stukat on Apr 18, 2008 9:11:17 GMT -6
I always loook. I dont assume anything when it come to ass cleanliness.
I always check out my "stool" also. i want to know if there is anything out of the ordinary.
Plus, if you get seriously sick, the first thing the doctor will ask is how does your Stool look.
I want to be able to give well informed answers
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Post by idrinkthereforeiam on Apr 18, 2008 9:13:36 GMT -6
You guys are fuucked up.
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Post by Solar Stud on Apr 18, 2008 9:19:09 GMT -6
For many years, I have kept a plastic container next to my toilets which contain bio-degradable baby butt wipes.
After two swipes, I clean further with 2 baby wipes.
No cling-ons for me.
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Apr 18, 2008 10:29:42 GMT -6
I always loook. I dont assume anything when it come to ass cleanliness. I always check out my "stool" also. i want to know if there is anything out of the ordinary. Plus, if you get seriously sick, the first thing the doctor will ask is how does your Stool look. I want to be able to give well informed answers I look too, but I think it's more out of morbid curiosity. |
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Apr 18, 2008 10:37:59 GMT -6
Better than being a liar. Liar. |
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Post by FlyHawkJoe S.O.B. on Apr 19, 2008 6:02:33 GMT -6
Um, wipe and get off the pot??? Are you telling me you look at your toilet paper after you wipe? Pretty sick, Chubbs. I think we've just discovered the true reason Spank stands up at work all day! |
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Post by Iowafan1 on Apr 19, 2008 7:41:39 GMT -6
A true clue as to whether it will require one, two, four or twelve wipes is in the contour of the excrement after the deed is done. I have found through many years of study that if the pooh is tapered at each end, it is usually the single wipe variety. If it looks like one end is pinched or blunt, it will be a multiple wiping session. You can just about forecast singular or multiple while you're still on the commode. If it just breezily flows out with no effort, chances are it will be nice and tapered for a quick exit. If however, you catch yourself pulling a "Ralphie, the ugly American in Japan", you're gonna be there for awhile. Also, and this is very important.....if you're in a big hurry to get back to the ballgame, but you don't feel like the job on the seat is quite complete, don't force the issue. If you force the stoppage via clenching the sphincter, chances are great that you'll pinch it right smack damn in the middle. This action will undoubtedly cause you more time in the head, probably exhausting the toilet paper supply. Not only that, but because you unwisely chose to stop the show midway through, you will be back again when that same show catches back up to you say....about 20 minutes later and you will have multiple wipage again. The morale to this lesson is ALWAYS strive to taper your pooh.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Apr 19, 2008 9:53:02 GMT -6
You don't look at the paper? I visually inspect the entire process to make sure everything is going smoothly.
Afterwhich, of course, I promptly find the misses, and give her a numerical ranting between 1-10 about the size and quality of my BM and the number of flushes it took to consume it.
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Post by idrinkthereforeiam on Apr 19, 2008 12:25:09 GMT -6
If you can't tell you have shit on your ass, you aren't wiping properly.
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Post by socal on Apr 20, 2008 20:13:03 GMT -6
For many years, I have kept a plastic container next to my toilets which contain bio-degradable baby butt wipes. After two swipes, I clean further with 2 baby wipes. No cling-ons for me. Shortly after the birth of my children, I too, have a spot free anus. As a PSA: I initially learned during childcare & now with myself... that carefully planned and performed wipes can increase the life of a decent baby wipe... By unfolding it completely (and wiping), then carefully folding it in half each time (and wiping again), you can get up to 4 wipes with 1 wipe... plus it will never cause a clog. ....This concludes your TMI PSA. |
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Post by mattahawk on Apr 20, 2008 21:43:54 GMT -6
I look. You never know what your going to see. Plus it can be a conversation piece.
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Post by Mr Olympia on Apr 20, 2008 22:19:51 GMT -6
Um, wipe and get off the pot??? Are you telling me you look at your toilet paper after you wipe? Pretty sick, Chubbs. I do that just to see the color and texture, and to verify the peanut count ain' t this board great, nothing but people acting like 12 year old boys and feces talk  |
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