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Post by NOTTHOR on Jun 3, 2014 8:22:45 GMT -6
As y'all know, I live in the Evanston, which has a militant liberal faction that would fit in better in Berkeley or Madison than in a nice bedroom community on the North Shore of Lake Michigan. Part of this liberal militant faction has managed to get the roads narrowed and bike lanes put in on some streets. And we've all seen videos of the modern biker, they get incredibly angry at every slight, no matter how minor.
So last night, me and Ma were fixin' to go get some supper a block or two from our casa. We're walking and we get stuck at a red light. I let the 3 or 4 cars through and start crossing when I notice this janky fucking tandem bike going about 5-7 mph coming up on the intersection, so I stop in the middle of the road and the front rider starts waving his arm. I wave for him to pass and he starts frantically waving his arms and takes an evasive maneuver liek as if to go behind me so I start walking again. Guy starts going off. "Yeah, you shouldn't be in the street" or some shit.
So I turn around and say "calm the fuck down,..." I was going to say "calm the fuck down, buddy" but as the bike rolls by I see the back passenger on the bike and it was this mid 20's guy with downs mean mugging me. Like straight the fuck up mean mugging me. It was crazy shit, liek something I've never seen before. So in a total Freudian slip, instead of saying "buddy" I blurt out "Corky." There was this dude standing on the side of the street toward where I was going and he actually did a straight up face palm. I grabbed Ma's arm and was liek "we gotta hurry" (of course she has no idea what is going on) and we bolted into the nearest restaurant out of the line of sight of the biker and hid out there. I genuinely feel fucking horrible about the whole thing. I mean, yeah, I shouldn't have crossed against the light, but these fucks on bikes get so fucking dramatic and I just lost mah shit when I seen that guy on the back of the bike.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Jun 3, 2014 8:37:06 GMT -6
Damn pardner, why can't you just follow the traffic laws. It's not that tough. What, are you missing a chromosome or something?
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Post by NotMyKid on Jun 3, 2014 8:37:56 GMT -6
Don't let your month write a check your scrawny ass can't pay. (or something like that)
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Jun 3, 2014 9:08:47 GMT -6
Don't let your month write a check your scrawny ass can't pay. (or something like that) Downs dude lifts |
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Post by egadsto on Jun 3, 2014 9:40:57 GMT -6
Picture of biker in question  |
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Post by #70 on Jun 3, 2014 10:02:11 GMT -6
tl:dr  |
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Post by #70 on Jun 3, 2014 10:32:23 GMT -6
I love the dog in the background. Licking himself.
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Jun 3, 2014 10:42:20 GMT -6
Did you have to explain this to ma later? I'd love a rundown of that.
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Post by NOTTHOR on Jun 3, 2014 10:47:00 GMT -6
Did you have to explain this to ma later? I'd love a rundown of that. Nah, she thought "fuck" was the only bad thing I said. I'mma worried that karma or something is gonna bite me now and I genuinely feel like a dick for saying corky, but imagine for one second, you're mid sentence and a guy with downs wearing a helmet on the back of a tandem bike mean mugs you while trying to look tough. First thing that pops into your head is corky and now I look liek the bad guy. |
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Post by Earl Slick on Jun 3, 2014 11:31:53 GMT -6
I like the bikers who insist on riding in the middle of the lane out In the country because they have the right to the full lane. Yes, you do have the right to the full lane; you also have the right to get splattered all over a quarter mile of pavement because you got slammed into at 70 mph by a tweeker texting the anhydrous dealer while lighting a cigarette.
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Post by The Resistance on Jun 3, 2014 12:15:35 GMT -6
Fuck bikers. Start buying these in bulk.  |
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Post by TaterWanger on Jun 3, 2014 13:17:51 GMT -6
Did you have to explain this to ma later? I'd love a rundown of that. Nah, she thought "fuck" was the only bad thing I said. I'mma worried that karma or something is gonna bite me now and I genuinely feel like a dick for saying corky, but imagine for one second, you're mid sentence and a guy with downs wearing a helmet on the back of a tandem bike mean mugs you while trying to look tough. First thing that pops into your head is corky and now I look liek the bad guy. Karma struck preemptively pal, you are a 5-7 ginger wif a penchant for spilling piss on your pants. BTW if you ever become a trial lawyer ima grabbin a retard off the streets and sit in your courtroom all day long. |
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Post by Stan's Field on Jun 3, 2014 13:33:34 GMT -6
I love the dog in the background. Licking himself. I think he's finishing off those hoes' last 8-ball... |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2014 13:37:57 GMT -6
what a dick!!!
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Post by livingintheusa on Jun 3, 2014 15:10:58 GMT -6
I like the bikers who insist on riding in the middle of the lane out In the country because they have the right to the full lane. Yes, you do have the right to the full lane; you also have the right to get splattered all over a quarter mile of pavement because you got slammed into at 70 mph by a tweeker texting the anhydrous dealer while lighting a cigarette. The Living Dead |
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Post by Plez Azkins on Jun 3, 2014 15:18:33 GMT -6
Did you have to explain this to ma later? I'd love a rundown of that. Nah, she thought "fuck" was the only bad thing I said. I'mma worried that karma or something is gonna bite me now and I genuinely feel like a dick for saying corky, but imagine for one second, you're mid sentence and a guy with downs wearing a helmet on the back of a tandem bike mean mugs you while trying to look tough. First thing that pops into your head is corky and now I look liek the bad guy. My niece has downs. You're fine....especially if you feel bad for what you said. |
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Post by livingintheusa on Jun 3, 2014 15:23:55 GMT -6
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Post by NOTTHOR on Jun 3, 2014 15:45:11 GMT -6
Nah, she thought "fuck" was the only bad thing I said. I'mma worried that karma or something is gonna bite me now and I genuinely feel like a dick for saying corky, but imagine for one second, you're mid sentence and a guy with downs wearing a helmet on the back of a tandem bike mean mugs you while trying to look tough. First thing that pops into your head is corky and now I look liek the bad guy. My niece has downs. You're fine....especially if you feel bad for what you said. A good buddy of mine here in town has a kid wif downs, too, that's part of why I feel so shitty about it. I mean, what if I wind up at a charity event or something and this guy is there? |
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Post by #70 on Jun 3, 2014 15:59:44 GMT -6
My niece has downs. You're fine....especially if you feel bad for what you said. A good buddy of mine here in town has a kid wif downs, too, that's part of why I feel so shitty about it. I mean, what if I wind up at a charity event or something and this guy is there? Well sounds like you already know the kids name. He'll like that. |
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on Jun 3, 2014 15:59:57 GMT -6
Was Downs guy mean mugging you prior to, or after the Corky blast?
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Post by NOTTHOR on Jun 3, 2014 16:11:04 GMT -6
Was Downs guy mean mugging you prior to, or after the Corky blast? Fraction of a second prior. Imagine you're walking and speaking over your right shoulder and a guy with downs mean mugging you on a tandem bike comes into your frame. That is what happened. Here is a map: X - ME, LOOKING OVER RIGHT SHOULDER WALKING ^ <---------------- [BIKE TRAVELLING THIS WAY] I've got eye contact with the rider as I say "calm the" and sometime as I'm pronouncing the u in "fuck" the guy with downs dominates mah line of sight. It is fucking with mah head. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2014 16:15:08 GMT -6
Was Downs guy mean mugging you prior to, or after the Corky blast? Fraction of a second prior. Imagine you're walking and speaking over your right shoulder and a guy with downs mean mugging you on a tandem bike comes into your frame. That is what happened. Here is a map: X - ME, LOOKING OVER RIGHT SHOULDER WALKING ^ <---------------- [BIKE TRAVELLING THIS WAY] I've got eye contact with the rider as I say "calm the" and sometime as I'm pronouncing the u in "fuck" the guy with downs dominates mah line of sight. It is fucking with mah head. good |
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Post by livingintheusa on Jun 3, 2014 18:30:02 GMT -6
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Post by Stan's Field on Jun 4, 2014 1:36:13 GMT -6
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Post by dbcooper on Jun 4, 2014 2:53:25 GMT -6
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