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Post by TBELL on May 9, 2008 2:22:43 GMT -6
So I'm out with some friends the other night at the Highlife Lounge, downtown Des Moines. I've had a few cocktails (or Highlife since that is all you can get there) and need to use the restroom. I hit the john and use the stand up urnial since I had no impending "movements". As I'm letting the man do his thing I decide to cut loose with one. Only this is no normal fart, yes ladies and gentlemen, I had sharted!
I go into instant panic mode. I was 15 miles from a clean pair of underwear, and both "stalls" were occupied. I can't decide to run or hang out at the urnial and wait for one of the stalls to open up. In a decision made from sheer panic, I waited for a stall to open. Best. Decision. Ever. I discover that the shart was only a "mini" shart, and I was able to salvage not only my undies, but the rest of the night. Crisis averted...let's drink some beer!
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Post by GhostMod 5000 on May 9, 2008 5:35:48 GMT -6
Why the hell were you out so late on a Thursday night?
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Post by Hawkeyes1982 on May 9, 2008 7:08:25 GMT -6
Thursday nights have alot of good beer specials, usually dollar you call it drafts. But back to the story, damn you mini sharted, be glad you didn't take a female friend home she'd be taken your clothes off and she finds a big ass skid mark of shit in your panties. lol
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Post by NotMyKid on May 9, 2008 10:48:46 GMT -6
So I'm out with some friends the other night at the Highlife Lounge, downtown Des Moines. I've had a few cocktails (or Highlife bince that is all you can get there) and need to use the restroom. I hit the john and use the stand up urnial bince I had no impending "movements". As I'm letting the man do his thing I decide to cut loose with one. Only this is no normal fart, yes ladies and gentlemen, I had sharted! quote] I call bullshit you can get a lot more then Highlife at the Highlife lounge. In fact they serve the worst thing I have ever had. Tang and Jag. Great place, I was there last month sitting at the bar with a friend of mine and he asked the bartender if we could smell all of the shitty 70's cologne that they have behind the bar. Some of that stuff was straight jet fuel. I think they even had a bottle of Sex Panther by Odeon.
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on May 9, 2008 10:50:45 GMT -6
If you're looking for a better selection, just walk 10 paces across the hall to El Bait Shop. Crazy number of beers on tap.
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Post by TBELL on May 9, 2008 11:10:54 GMT -6
I know they have more than just Highlife. I should have clarified, I was just bitching because they don't sell Bud Light and I generally dislike Miller products. I will say that Highlife Lounge has the BEST bar food ever. And Ghost, I have Thursdays and Fridays off.
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Post by germaine on May 9, 2008 11:10:58 GMT -6
Why is it guys shart, but you never hear of women sharting?
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Post by MoHawk on May 9, 2008 11:22:24 GMT -6
Why is it guys shart, but you never hear of women sharting? Maybe women are just more "discreet" about it than guys are. Most of my female friends aren't that way though. If they've gotta take a dump...you're going to know about it.
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Post by Hawkeyes1982 on May 9, 2008 11:27:59 GMT -6
Sex Panther, hahahha. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
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Post by germaine on May 9, 2008 12:29:10 GMT -6
Why is it guys shart, but you never hear of women sharting? Maybe women are just more "discreet" about it than guys are. Most of my female friends aren't that way though. If they've gotta take a dump...you're going to know about it. A few girlfriends and I discuss pretty much everything (sex, bathroom, various bodily functions and cycles), and none of us has sharted. We've had some close calls thanks to some very severe stomach viruses (and we've laughed a lot about those instances), but when it comes to non-illness-related moments, none have sharted.
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Post by NotMyKid on May 9, 2008 13:36:44 GMT -6
Maybe women are just more "discreet" about it than guys are. Most of my female friends aren't that way though. If they've gotta take a dump...you're going to know about it. A few girlfriends and I discuss pretty much everything (sex, bathroom, various bodily functions and cycles), and none of us has sharted. We've had some close calls thanks to some very severe stomach viruses (and we've laughed a lot about those instances), but when it comes to non-illness-related moments, none have sharted. I could be wrong but I would guess that has something to do with the fact that women don't make a game out of farting. Most men who shart know that a fart is coming and want to make it as loud as possible to impress anyone that is near by so the push a little to hard and presto they have a melted mini baby ruth in their shorts.
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Post by MoHawk on May 9, 2008 13:55:11 GMT -6
Maybe women are just more "discreet" about it than guys are. Most of my female friends aren't that way though. If they've gotta take a dump...you're going to know about it. A few girlfriends and I discuss pretty much everything (sex, bathroom, various bodily functions and cycles), and none of us has sharted. We've had some close calls thanks to some very severe stomach viruses (and we've laughed a lot about those instances), but when it comes to non-illness-related moments, none have sharted. Perhaps womankind is just blessed with stronger sphincters?
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Post by germaine on May 9, 2008 14:25:16 GMT -6
A few girlfriends and I discuss pretty much everything (sex, bathroom, various bodily functions and cycles), and none of us has sharted. We've had some close calls thanks to some very severe stomach viruses (and we've laughed a lot about those instances), but when it comes to non-illness-related moments, none have sharted. Perhaps womankind is just blessed with stronger sphincters? I'm glad I'm a woman...
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Post by Master Blaster on May 12, 2008 16:08:32 GMT -6
What woman would ever admit to it, even if it did happen? Also women tend to be much more discreet about such functions, therefore try the press method less.
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