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Post by bucketochicken on Apr 11, 2008 7:55:30 GMT -6
Ok, so the Landwhale in my office (you know, the one who ends every sentence with a question? Even when she’s not asking a question? So her voice always goes up at the end? And it makes her even more annoying?) was just loudly relating an anecdote about buying meat at the meat counter across the street yesterday, and she said something to the effect of, “So I was at the meat counter yesterday? Buying some burgers and two pounds of bacon for the weekend for me and my husband? And the lady behind the counter? Got all excited because she likes bacon too?” Etc, etc. Uhhh… two pounds of bacon? For the weekend? For two of you !! Ummm, yeah…… I’m not a doctor or anything, but unless you plan on eating all those fried hog strips while you’re on the treadmill, I’m not real sure that’s a wise dietary choice… |
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Post by germaine on Apr 11, 2008 7:57:24 GMT -6
No such thing as too much bacon.
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Post by Iowafan1 on Apr 11, 2008 8:08:45 GMT -6
Uhhh… two pounds of bacon? For the weekend? For two of you???!!.....bucketochicken
So, let me get this straight.....Her Husband knows she is only able to afford two pounds of bacon and he chooses to take a portion of that same two pounds for himself? That is way out of line. That is just messed up! My woman will not only have the entire two pounds of bacon to herself......she will also have a loaf of toast, a tall stack of pancakes and a dozen eggs to go along with it. I am all about true love.
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Post by NOTTHOR on Apr 11, 2008 8:14:00 GMT -6
Me and autolykos call this gal we work with Bacon. One night, after weeks and months of me and autolykos writing "Serve breakfast for supper" in the comment box (we have a nightly buffet at the office) they finally did it. The scent of bacon wafted through the halls starting at about 4 o'clock. It was the longest line I've ever seen at supper buffet, as people worked an extra hour or two just so they could get some of that breakfast. This one gal ate four or five plates full of bacon, and each time she went up to get a plate, she would go sit at another table and announce how much she loved bacon.
Hopefully, she will get fired before April 15 because last year I bet autolykos $1 that her slothiness would get her run out of the firm before April 15, 2008. We only have 4 days left and she is still employed. If it's going to happen, it would have to be this afternoon. Pull for me guys.
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Post by MoHawk on Apr 11, 2008 8:37:46 GMT -6
It could still happen on Monday Ralph. Keep the faith brother.
I actually made a pizza last night with bacon. I'm with germaine...I don't think there's any such thing as too much bacon.
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Post by NOTTHOR on Apr 11, 2008 8:40:15 GMT -6
No way Mohawk - no one gets run on Mondays. They get run on Friday so they have the weekend to cool off. Every Friday it's a goddamn last day email festival around here. I had to set up a special filter to pick them all off. Last day, goodbye, farewell, etc. Every Friday we get about 10 of them, usually from some fuckstick I don't even know. Unless we get one from her today, I'm going to declare autolykos the winner.
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Post by bucketochicken on Apr 11, 2008 8:43:56 GMT -6
Shit, don't get me wrong, I LOVE bacon - I mean, "bacon76" is my password for my computer at work, I have all three flavors of Bacon Salt at home, I get bacon on my burger 99% of the time, the Vosges Bacon Bar is my favorite chocolate bar, etc, etc. But jesus christ, some moderation is in order. I love whiskey too but I'm not going to toss back a Texas fifth of Maker's for lunch.
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Post by hawkinlimbo on Apr 11, 2008 9:05:38 GMT -6
I love whiskey too but I'm not going to toss back a Texas fifth of Maker's for lunch. *shrug* why not? |
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Apr 11, 2008 9:08:34 GMT -6
This landwhale sounds familiar. Did she happen to work for any insurance companies in Iowa prior to this job?
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Post by bucketochicken on Apr 11, 2008 9:15:22 GMT -6
Different landwhale.
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Post by Dr. Doofenshmirtz (Heywood) on Apr 11, 2008 9:20:28 GMT -6
I think every office has a landwhale.
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Post by MoHawk on Apr 11, 2008 9:21:26 GMT -6
Shit, don't get me wrong, I LOVE bacon - I mean, "bacon76" is my password for my computer at work, I have all three flavors of Bacon Salt at home, I get bacon on my burger 99% of the time, the Vosges Bacon Bar is my favorite chocolate bar, etc, etc. But jesus christ, some moderation is in order. I love whiskey too but I'm not going to toss back a Texas fifth of Maker's for lunch. Fair enough bucket. And Ralph, it's amazing to me the difference between our industries. In radio, it doesn't make a lick of difference what day of the week it is. My first day here in Columbia, which was a Monday, I introduced myself to a guy who's now a very good friend. He said, "Nice to meet you Matt. I'm Mason. I just got fired." Crazy business, this radio industry. |
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Post by Chuck Storm on Apr 11, 2008 9:23:16 GMT -6
Shit, don't get me wrong, I LOVE bacon - I mean, "bacon76" is my password for my computer at work, I have all three flavors of Bacon Salt at home, I get bacon on my burger 99% of the time, the Vosges Bacon Bar is my favorite chocolate bar, etc, etc. But jesus christ, some moderation is in order. I love whiskey too but I'm not going to toss back a Texas fifth of Maker's for lunch. Fair enough bucket. And Ralph, it's amazing to me the difference between our industries. In radio, it doesn't make a lick of difference what day of the week it is. My first day here in Columbia, which was a Monday, I introduced myself to a guy who's now a very good friend. He said, "Nice to meet you Matt. I'm Mason. I just got fired." Crazy business, this radio industry. You never fire someone on a Monday. Always Friday. |
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Apr 11, 2008 9:25:50 GMT -6
Or Wednesday in the insurance industry. |
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Post by MoHawk on Apr 11, 2008 9:26:17 GMT -6
Tell that to management in the radio business. They have no concept of time.
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Post by NOTTHOR on Apr 11, 2008 9:30:00 GMT -6
Yeah, if someone is at a place like a radio station 24/7, anytime is fine. Insurance any time is prolly fine, too because the departed has been done a huge favor by getting run. Our shop doesn't fire during the week though, they don't want any incident with the departed. It's much cleaner to do it on a Friday afternoon so if someone goes bananas, there won't be anyone in the office.
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Apr 11, 2008 9:32:56 GMT -6
Yeah, if someone is at a place like a radio station 24/7, anytime is fine. Insurance any time is prolly fine, too because the departed has been done a huge favor by getting run. Our shop doesn't fire during the week though, they don't want any incident with the departed. It's much cleaner to do it on a Friday afternoon so if someone goes bananas, there won't be anyone in the office. "Yeah, we like to do our firings on Fridays. Studies have shown that there's much less chance of a confrontation if you fire someone on a Friday".  |
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Post by hawkinlimbo on Apr 11, 2008 9:36:37 GMT -6
Hey - today is Friday. Man, I wish they'd just fire me.
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Post by Saggitariutt Jefferspin (ith) on Apr 11, 2008 9:58:49 GMT -6
LOL, Bucket, your story cracks me up... I used to have a land whale in my office that ended every sentence with a question mark (reading your story, her voice got in my head, and I had to hit myself repeatedly to get it out). Luckily, my company fired her worthless ass.
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Post by hawkeyedug on Apr 11, 2008 10:04:28 GMT -6
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Post by Dr. Doofenshmirtz (Heywood) on Apr 11, 2008 10:16:21 GMT -6
That is making me hungry. |
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Post by bucketochicken on Apr 11, 2008 10:29:58 GMT -6
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Post by idrinkthereforeiam on Apr 11, 2008 11:08:59 GMT -6
I just had a stroke reading that. |
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Post by Chuck Storm on Apr 11, 2008 11:22:07 GMT -6
That guy needs to seek help. Or get a girlfriend. It's too bad his number isn't on the website or I'd have just the woman for him. |
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Post by idrinkthereforeiam on Apr 11, 2008 11:32:49 GMT -6
Me and autolykos call this gal we work with Bacon. One night, after weeks and months of me and autolykos writing "Serve breakfast for supper" in the comment box (we have a nightly buffet at the office) they finally did it. The scent of bacon wafted through the halls starting at about 4 o'clock. It was the longest line I've ever seen at supper buffet, as people worked an extra hour or two just so they could get some of that breakfast. This one gal ate four or five plates full of bacon, and each time she went up to get a plate, she would go sit at another table and announce how much she loved bacon. Hopefully, she will get fired before April 15 because last year I bet autolykos $1 that her slothiness would get her run out of the firm before April 15, 2008. We only have 4 days left and she is still employed. If it's going to happen, it would have to be this afternoon. Pull for me guys. Autolykos and I. |
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