|
|
Post by GhostMod 5000 on May 3, 2008 12:58:00 GMT -6
www.madglibs.com/index.phpI made this one. I figured we could get some funny ones. My "Dream Man" should, first of all be very soul-crushingly boring and erudite. He should have a physique like Lindsey Lohan's vagina, a profile like The guy nailing Lindsey Lohan's vagina this week, and the intelligence of a/an Chocolate starfish. He must be polite and must always remember to screw my crack whore, to tip his ass hair and to take my fleshy patch between the genitals and asshole when crossing the street. He should move lustily, have a/an nympho-like voice, and should always dress bitterly. I would also like him to be a/an douchetastic dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper kind of faggy nothings into my track marks between the toes and hold my conservative retard. I know a/an butthole licker is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is Iowafan1
|
|
|
|
Post by GhostMod 5000 on May 3, 2008 13:38:17 GMT -6
So maybe I am bored at home...what's it to ya Personal Ad I enjoy long, queefy walks on the beach, getting boned in the rain and serendipitous encounters with cousins you have impure thoughts about. I really like piña coladas mixed with warm, yellow liquid, and romantic, candle-lit bi-curious lawyers. I am well-read from Dr. Seuss to Brittney Spear's C-section scar. I travel frequently, especially to an 11 year old girls bike seat, when I am not busy with work. (I am a Hannah Montana shuttle bus driver.) I am looking for chode and beauty in the form of a half-Irish and half-Wookie goddess. She should have the physique of The gimp from Pulp Fiction and the meth lab of the wise old prostitute that made me a man. I would prefer if she knew how to cook, clean, and wash my back hairs. I know I’m not very attractive in my picture, but it was taken ate days ago, and I have since become more moist. |
|
|
|
Post by socal on May 4, 2008 17:45:38 GMT -6
|
|
|
|
Post by GhostMod 5000 on May 4, 2008 20:15:47 GMT -6
Can I Have Your Daughter`s Hand?
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Izzyham Lincoln heroin binge,
Will you let me pork your Guam? Ever since I have laid chin that looks like an asscrack on Molva, I have stoned madly in love with her. I wish that she will be the crap recepticle of my sexually confused southerners and that someday we will stalk happily ever after. I have a flavored lube as a/an the person who euthanises sick dogs that pays $two each month. I promise to plunge Molva with kindness and respect.
Sincerely,
friendly uncle who touches me where I don't feel comfortable Uncle Squeesy
|
|
|
|
Post by GhostMod 5000 on May 4, 2008 20:38:00 GMT -6
My Evil Plan to Take Over the World
I am Dr. full of urine. I am destined to pinching the loaf. Unfortunately, the loaf is full of a bunch of annoyingly whiney mouthy bitches that do not agree. So this is my bush-like incompetance plan to take over the loaf:
To start with, I`ll need to build my ambiguously gay hideout in an abandoned Mike Ockizrd Inc. complex in the middle of the bum circus. It will have 12 underground floor(s), and only 12 floor(s) aboveground. All the hideously inept sportscasters will open jizzingly and address me as "The Great and groin-grabbingy delicious Dr. full of urine". I will also have several rooms designed for fleeing and ejaculating anyone who tries to queef me. That is, after I have coronated the full extent of my bush-like incompetance plan to them.
Next, I will hire some king of all douchebags to design the startled cat Buster, a machine designed to trigger huge stripper death bouts wherever I want it to. And if they don`t want to build it, I will capture their amputees and threaten to make them The look of a dog while it is taking a shit and stares right at you for hours on end. Once it`s built, I will have it pwned along the San Andreas dead pony.
Mwan ex-girlfriends mocking laughter, an ex-girlfriends mocking laughter, an ex-girlfriends mocking laughter, an ex-girlfriends mocking laughter, an ex-girlfriends mocking laughter!
Obviously you point and laugh, I can hold the Govenor of poverty, John McCain, against the threat of forgetting 2/2 of the state into the ocean. And once I have control of poverty, I will stare the senior moment industry into promoting my right to pinching the loaf, and depressingly all will succumb to my warm toliet seat and unbeleivable stupidity.
|
|
|
|
Post by TBELL on May 4, 2008 21:03:12 GMT -6
How to wash your face:
In order to wash your face quickly, you must wet your wave in warm wine. Then, run it across your face 385 times. This will wash off any remainig rocks. When you are done you should write the cloth in big water to clean it. You should also wash your face with a computer to keep it smooth and shiny. This will keep also keep away screens. Don`t worry. It is normal to experience herpes the first time you try this. Consult your lawyer if you break out in balls. This works well on your taint too!
|
|
|
|
Post by GhostMod 5000 on May 5, 2008 7:48:10 GMT -6
Someone Special
I recently fell in and out of love with a jizz covered bedsheet. His name is Mike Ockizard. I have a pulsating feeling about him. When we met, we just wiped, but then he said I was the most feculant person he knew and that he would like me to be his chronic masterbater. It was a chapped decision to make but in the end I said I can't beleive I trusted you!! After that I left him and inserted all the way to a creepy guy's basement. I feel a little numb about what I did but I`d rather be arousing on the bike seat and watching Lizzy McGuire. Who needs a problem drinker anyway?
|
|
