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Post by Solar Stud on Jul 31, 2009 9:31:44 GMT -6
During our drunken weekend at Rons....a couple of attendees who will remain nameless (Ron and Twine) openly admitted they
#1--Cut their lawn on the diagonal...and/or
#2--Cut their lawn using a gas/time-wasting checkerboard pattern, AND
#3--Cut a different way each time in order to enhance the prolish look.
WTF man! I cut straight back and forth. Function over form.
Thoughts?
BTR: you're excluded from the discussion since a.) you don't have a lawn now living in the concrete jungle, and b.) I'm sure you didn't have a lawn growing up either.
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Post by poncho72 on Jul 31, 2009 10:05:35 GMT -6
I used to cut a different way each time, just because that's what my dad made me do when I was a kid and it carried over to adulthood. Nowadays I just mow the SOB in a way that gets me back in my chair with a beer in hand the fastest!
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Post by 101 on Jul 31, 2009 11:13:53 GMT -6
I take exception to your comments.
As I see it, if I'm not using a rider (which I'm not at the moment), it takes the same amount of time and steps whether I go back and forth the exact same way each time I mow, or if I prefer to vary it up a little to enhance my mowing experience.
If I'm going to have to live the prole life, can't I at least try to make my lawn look as nice as I can? I mean...as a prole, I ain't got nothing else going on....
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Post by twine on Jul 31, 2009 11:32:21 GMT -6
I like to make my lawn look as nice as I can because my Bosnian Muslim neighbors don't know shit about properly maintaining a lawn. The guys wife cuts his lawn with a one of the shittier mowers I've seen. It leaves behing dead grass and there is literally no pattern to how she goes about mowing the lawn so it looks like a retarded midget is trying to bail hay in their front yard.
Alternating the mowing doesn't add any time to how long it takes me to mow and it makes my yard look better so why not?
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Post by 101 on Jul 31, 2009 11:39:58 GMT -6
Seth...I like my lawn to look better than something like this:  |
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Post by 101 on Jul 31, 2009 11:41:19 GMT -6
BTW....this is what Twine and I (and probably others as well) use as a role model for our lawns.  |
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Post by lpcalihawk on Jul 31, 2009 12:05:48 GMT -6
I agree with Ron and Twine. Alternating your mowing pattern is better for the grass.
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Post by Solar Stud on Jul 31, 2009 12:45:40 GMT -6
I take exception to your comments. As I see it, if I'm not using a rider (which I'm not at the moment), it takes the same amount of time and steps whether I go back and forth the exact same way each time I mow, or if I prefer to vary it up a little to enhance my mowing experience. If I'm going to have to live the prole life, can't I at least try to make my lawn look as nice as I can? I mean...as a prole, I ain't got nothing else going on.... Ron, Ron, Ron....you admitted to me you're just too lazy to get that flat tire fixed on the rider. Please....no "I'm a Green Man" bs here. ;D |
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Post by thunderhawk on Jul 31, 2009 13:30:00 GMT -6
You're supposed to alternate your mowing pattern for the health of the grass.
Proles mow the same way every time and leave lines of cuttings to dry in the sun.
Me? I mow diagonally SE-NW, then east-west next time, north-south subsequently, and finally diagonally NE-SW, and then repeat the cycle. My yard looks like a fucking baseball diamond.
Prolish? Try uber-elitist, bub.
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Post by Solar Stud on Jul 31, 2009 15:18:45 GMT -6
You're supposed to alternate your mowing pattern for the health of the grass. Proles mow the same way every time and leave lines of cuttings to dry in the sun. Me? I mow diagonally SE-NW, then east-west next time, north-south subsequently, and finally diagonally NE-SW, and then repeat the cycle. My yard looks like a fucking baseball diamond. Prolish? Try uber-elitist, bub. I think the most accurate term for spending hours and hours cutting on the diagonal or a checker-board or any other queer pattern which nobody sees or cares about but you is "Metrosexual".....bordering on "Homo-" You guys must have 2-hour quickies. Can only imagine how long you have to keep it up when the ol lady wants seconds. |
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Post by twine on Jul 31, 2009 15:33:38 GMT -6
You're supposed to alternate your mowing pattern for the health of the grass. Proles mow the same way every time and leave lines of cuttings to dry in the sun. Me? I mow diagonally SE-NW, then east-west next time, north-south subsequently, and finally diagonally NE-SW, and then repeat the cycle. My yard looks like a fucking baseball diamond. Prolish? Try uber-elitist, bub. I think the most accurate term for spending hours and hours cutting on the diagonal or a checker-board or any other queer pattern which nobody sees or cares about but you is "Metrosexual".....bordering on "Homo-" You guys must have 2-hour quickies. Can only imagine how long you have to keep it up when the ol lady wants seconds. My lawn happens to be on a fairly busy street so it is viewed and admired by the majority of people living in eastern Urbandale and the entire Windsor Heights community. Also, my neighbor in the other part of the duplex buys me either a bottle of scotch or a case of my choice of beer for maintaining such an admirable lawn. There is also nothing gay about mowing your yard. |
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Post by NOTTHOR on Jul 31, 2009 15:40:58 GMT -6
Only proles mow their own fucking lawns. Get a god damn job and have the help mow your lawn.
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Jul 31, 2009 18:54:21 GMT -6
I like to make my lawn look as nice as I can because my Bosnian Muslim neighbors don't know shit about properly maintaining a lawn. The guys wife cuts his lawn with a one of the shittier mowers I've seen. It leaves behing dead grass and there is literally no pattern to how she goes about mowing the lawn so it looks like a retarded midget is trying to bail hay in their front yard. Alternating the mowing doesn't add any time to how long it takes me to mow and it makes my yard look better so why not? Cosign. With all of the flower garden shit and trees, etc in our yard, most of it gets mowed the same way anyway. But the part of the lawn where I can actually take more than 3 steps without turning around... yeah, I alternate. It makes the lawn look a lot better and doesn't cost any more time. At least I am actually maintaining our property, which is more than I can say for many proles in this town! |
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Post by 101 on Aug 1, 2009 5:17:48 GMT -6
Last time I checked, I do have a job. In fact, I have a pretty good job. I take a bit of personal pride in cutting my own lawn and taking care of my own shit rather than simply writing a check for someone else to clean up after me. Guess it's about having a little self-respect. Only proles mow their own fucking lawns. Get a god damn job and have the help mow your lawn. |
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Post by 101 on Aug 1, 2009 5:19:03 GMT -6
Seth....it's not a matter of being too lazy to get it fixed, I just knew if I left it there long enough, Marla would go out and pick-up a nice new John Deere for my birthday (smart planning on my part if you asked me). It should be rolling in in about 4 weeks. I take exception to your comments. As I see it, if I'm not using a rider (which I'm not at the moment), it takes the same amount of time and steps whether I go back and forth the exact same way each time I mow, or if I prefer to vary it up a little to enhance my mowing experience. If I'm going to have to live the prole life, can't I at least try to make my lawn look as nice as I can? I mean...as a prole, I ain't got nothing else going on.... Ron, Ron, Ron....you admitted to me you're just too lazy to get that flat tire fixed on the rider. Please....no "I'm a Green Man" bs here. ;D |
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Post by Solar Stud on Aug 1, 2009 7:29:45 GMT -6
Seth....it's not a matter of being too lazy to get it fixed, I just knew if I left it there long enough, Marla would go out and pick-up a nice new John Deere for my birthday (smart planning on my part if you asked me). It should be rolling in in about 4 weeks. Ron, Ron, Ron....you admitted to me you're just too lazy to get that flat tire fixed on the rider. Please....no "I'm a Green Man" bs here. ;D Cool man. Anybody who walks that back-40 you call a lawn is alright by me.  |
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Post by NOTTHOR on Aug 1, 2009 7:36:49 GMT -6
Last time I checked, I do have a job. In fact, I have a pretty good job. I take a bit of personal pride in cutting my own lawn and taking care of my own shit rather than simply writing a check for someone else to clean up after me. Guess it's about having a little self-respect. Only proles mow their own fucking lawns. Get a god damn job and have the help mow your lawn. Oh burn, me, the Rockefellers and the Vanderbilts have no self-respect because we employ proles to do some stuff. Some peoples' time is worth more than the 17 cents an hour or whatever it is that the average prole is commanding these days. |
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Post by 101 on Aug 1, 2009 8:02:35 GMT -6
BTR....you would probably pay someone to wipe your ass if you could. Last time I checked, I do have a job. In fact, I have a pretty good job. I take a bit of personal pride in cutting my own lawn and taking care of my own shit rather than simply writing a check for someone else to clean up after me. Guess it's about having a little self-respect. Oh burn, me, the Rockefellers and the Vanderbilts have no self-respect because we employ proles to do some stuff. Some peoples' time is worth more than the 17 cents an hour or whatever it is that the average prole is commanding these days. |
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Post by thunderhawk on Aug 1, 2009 12:32:35 GMT -6
Only proles mow their own fucking lawns. Get a god damn job and have the help mow your lawn. The help sucks. If you want it done right you do it yourself. It's art. |
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Post by hawkeyedug on Aug 1, 2009 14:58:03 GMT -6
I just finished mowing my lawn for the second time ever (just moved into the house last Friday). The previous owners hadn't mowed it for probably 3 weeks, it was really long and it had rained the night before I mowed and the grass was still pretty wet. So our old crappy (free) mower left some nice trails of grass that the bagger didn't pick up (grass was too long and wet for it to handle). So this week I went the opposite direction (horizontally across the yard rather than vertically) from last week. It picked up the dead, dried out lines that were left behind last week and looks wonderful. I will say it did take a little longer today than last week as the yard is longer vertically than horizontally so I had to turn around more often.
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Post by iammrhawkeyes on Aug 1, 2009 18:08:10 GMT -6
I love taking care of my own yard. It really is art. Thanks for the new, elitist lawn care tips (diagonal, cross cut).
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Post by Solar Stud on Aug 3, 2009 6:34:49 GMT -6
I mowed yesterday in fact. I let it go about a week a time.
Straight back and forth. Beautiful.
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Post by lpcalihawk on Aug 3, 2009 11:18:16 GMT -6
Only proles mow their own fucking lawns. Get a god damn job and have the help mow your lawn. You never mow another man's lawn......didn't you have a father that taught you anything? |
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Post by Gumbyhawk on Aug 3, 2009 19:33:17 GMT -6
I mowed yesterday in fact. I let it go about a week a time. Straight back and forth. Beautiful. WTF, Seth? You "let it go about a week at a time"? Your lawn must be "bunghole" brown by now. I usually go two weeks unless it has been raining a crap-load (like earlier this spring). Now, I will probably go three weeks since it has been so dry. My lawn is not brown and I don't water it either. I love dry weather like this.... I have the greenest lawn on the block and expended NO effort in it. Win-win.  |
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Post by Solar Stud on Aug 3, 2009 20:40:31 GMT -6
I mowed yesterday in fact. I let it go about a week a time. Straight back and forth. Beautiful. WTF, Seth? You "let it go about a week at a time"? Your lawn must be "bunghole" brown by now. I usually go two weeks unless it has been raining a crap-load (like earlier this spring). Now, I will probably go three weeks bince it has been so dry. My lawn is not brown and I don't water it either. I love dry weather like this.... I have the greenest lawn on the block and expended NO effort in it. Win-win. Actually I don't have any brown....but....speaking of brown....25% of my lawn sits on top of the septic field and grows like crazy. If I let it go more than a week, it's a mess....like Spank's lawn. |
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